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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU not to let my husband have a girlfriend?

265 replies

MoggTheCat · 28/12/2019 19:11

Long backstory but in a nutshell: I’m 43. Married to DH for 18 years, with 4 DC aged 10 - 17. Before we had DC our sex life was normal/reasonable. After DC I had physical injuries due to difficult deliveries, which made sex painful. Struggled on for several years having painful sex approximately once a month. DH became increasingly upset over lack of intimacy and had a brief affair 5 years ago. I’ve taken antidepressants for over 20 years, which have adverse effect on my libido. DH and I get on very well as friends, enjoy each other’s company and are good parents together. But I find any form of physical intimacy impossible, such as sex, oral, kissing. Holding hands, hugging, cuddling up in bed are all good. I just have no physical desire for sex whatsoever. Complicating factor is that I am definitely bisexual, possibly gay. Due to homophobic parents, I wasn’t able to consider this until my late thirties. We have previously had over a year of sex therapy with Relate, which did not help. Currently we are not having sex at all. I feel terrible about DH feeling so rejected and not having a sex life. I feel it is unfair to expect him to stay with me if I cannot provide sex and intimacy. We have discussed having a more open relationship. I do not want to see anyone else but said I wouldn’t object to him seeing an escort or similar to fulfil his sexual needs. He said he wouldn’t enjoy sex with somebody that he was paying and didn’t know well. He said the person would need to be someone that he could get to know, exchange messages with, go on dates with, etc. I feel this would be him having a proper girlfriend and I don’t think I could cope with that. But if I can’t offer him sex myself, AIBU to refuse to let him have a girlfriend? Any advice gratefully received, thank you.

OP posts:
stouffer · 28/12/2019 19:51

@madcatladyforever. Or, to put it another way, he’s done his job as a jizz dispenser so now he can just put up or shut up with his gay wife who doesn’t want to have sex with him any more?

damnthatanxiety · 28/12/2019 19:52

bettybattenburg
YANBU. He needs to accept that you have difficulties with sex because of having children together.

Or just perhaps because the OP suspects she is GAY.

OneForMeToo · 28/12/2019 19:52

Sounds like he misses intimacy full stop rather than just sex since he wants dates not just meaningless sex. If you think you might be gay what about talking as a couple to a unicorn? Both join fabswingers, go to meets you could make friends and both gain the sexual parts you need while maintaining a relationship of sorts.

SynchroSwimmer · 28/12/2019 19:53

OP, you might also want to look online at The Guardian Newspaper and the Relationships pages, there have been in the past some similar posts to yours there with (from memory) a good range and breadth of different suggestions and responses.

1Morewineplease · 28/12/2019 19:53

You want him to remain your husband but you can’t be intimate with him.
You want him to find a sexual outlet... but you don’t want him to get to know this sexual outlet... so you want him to get a prostitute.
On what planet is this a meaningful relationship?

Sorry love, given that you are questioning your own sexuality, I think that it would be best if you just let him go . It’s not fair to expect your partner to remain in a sexless marriage , with a wife who isn’t sure of her sexuality and to go off and have sex with women with whom he can’t interact with.

If you’re experiencing pain etc.. during sex then you should have consulted your GP. You can’t keep using it as an excuse. You’ve even said that you can’t bear kissing. You’re not being fair to your partner at all.

Let him go.

PermanentTemporary · 28/12/2019 19:53

There are women who want that kind of arms length contact. They exist though they're not common. They will either be married themselves in a similar situation or single and unwilling for a full on relationship.

Would it really be so terrible for him to have an affectionate connection with another adult? Why not try it first, anyway.

CanIHaveADrink · 28/12/2019 19:53

@stouffer, the OP doesn’t know for sure if she is gay or not.
She does know that sex is painful due to the deliveries. She does know she has tried for a long time to out up with it, put up with the pain. I’m not surprised she has gone off sex altogether after spending so long having sex whilst it was painful tbh....

RedPanda2 · 28/12/2019 19:54

Have you discussed polyamory? I know you say you wouldn't want him having a girlfriend but the reality is he will get one if you seperate anyway.
You both deserve partners that give you what you need in a relationship

cybergran · 28/12/2019 19:55

its a pity that 18 years of marriage would be thrown away purely because of sexual inactivity. Is marriage defined purely by sex nowadays...? I would imagine that most couples who have been together so long experience droughts in intimacy...

Why are you taking all the responsibility here Mogg..? Why are you not questioning his input and wondering why his needs are greater than yours? He had an affair... you have been on anti-depressants for years... why is that?

Seems to me that the whole issues is being absorbed by you and hubbie is not accepting any accountability... I would look at the equality of your relationship and ask yourself whether you deserve more..

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/12/2019 19:56

Just get divorced. If you’re friendly coparents now you can continue that apart.

It’s shit for your kids to live with parents who don’t want each other. When you get to the point that even kissing is off the table it’s dead and you’ll both be happier apart.

Cluelessbeetroot · 28/12/2019 19:56

madcat fucking hell, should we have the man hung, drawn and quartered ?

carly2803 · 28/12/2019 19:57

I could not be in your shoes OP and be ok with it.

Mabey ask him what he wants?

Ithink divorcing is the answer

Cryingoverspilttea · 28/12/2019 19:57

YABU expecting him to stay in a sexless marriage or pay a prostitute. Either let him have a girlfriend or divorce him. Let the man go ffs. You can't have your cake and eat it.

chergar · 28/12/2019 19:57

I don't agree with the majority on here, sex is only one part of marriage and to throw away a good marriage only because of a lack of sex is wrong (in sickness and health?)

However I think the issues are deeper than that, and a long road of counselling lies ahead if you want to continue in your marriage. Your husband already had an affair, I think the 'open marriage' isn't something you really want, it is a last resort to keep your husband but it could mean you end up losing him, him saying he won't enjoy sex with someone he doesn't know is either him saying he wants to end the marriage and move on or a plea for his sex life with you to return (could that ever be possible?)

This is very complex and no one can tell you the right answer, you need professional help to sort it out.

stouffer · 28/12/2019 19:57

@canihaveadrink. That’s fair enough and of course OP has the right to decide whether or not she has a physical relationship with her husband. I just think that the “led by his penis” remark is a crass generalisation that isn’t helpful in this situation and was just responding with something equally stupid to highlight this.

SandyY2K · 28/12/2019 19:58

I don’t think there’s a woman on this earth who would agree to that crap set up.

There are a fair few who it would suit just fine.

There are women in a similar situation as the OPs husband.

Have a fully open relationship and accept that he may fall in love and leave you...or save the agony and split up now.

Expecting him to pay for an escort doesn't cut it...he wants more than that and I have to agree that you're being selfish really.

independentfriend · 28/12/2019 19:59

I suggest having a read of some of the literature available about ethical non-monogamy and looking at some of the other places online that are focused on discussions about it for a broader range of input than you'll get on Mumsnet.

You are not in an ideal position to turn your existing monogamous relationship into one that is ethically non-monogamous in some way, because of where you've got to - it doesn't seem to be a free choice, but rather one you feel forced into. It may be you try it out and end up separating anyway.

Would you rather formally separate and work on establishing a friendship/co-parenting relationship that works for you both, rather than try out ethical non-monogamy?

It's often hard to tell how things will feel before they happen - I quite often find the things I feel worried about in advance are OK when they occur, but I trip up on things I hadn't expected to be a problem. How do you think it would feel for him to have another partner? It's worth writing this down, thinking about both broad feelings and specifics. I do polyamory and most of the time when I think of the person I'm involved with being with somebody else, I feel happy he's getting to be with someone he likes, doing stuff they like doing. This concept is "compersion" - and I often think of it as "vicarious happiness" - being happy because someone I care about it happy. The times when I feel less like this are when I've not seen him for ages and I want to and it's not practicable for us to do that any time soon [our relationship has never been one where we live together and when we got involved with each other he was already living with a partner and seeing other people, so a lot of the context for you will be different] It's important to consider your living space and boundaries for you both around how other people use your home. It's reasonably usual within ethically non-monogamous relationships to decide it's not OK for another partner to share the bed you use together, if there is one [and from the perspective of a hypothetical partner for him, it's unlikely she'd want to do that, either] It's also not unusual to decide you don't want to overhear your partner doing sexual things with another partner. Particularly as you have adolescent children, it wouldn't be at all unusual to decide that you need to move slowly with any new partners - introducing them at an appropriate time etc.

Think about boundaries - where you end and where he begins. You can't stop him having another partner, but you could divorce him if he did. You can't make him stay with you but equally, he can choose to stay with you if that's what he wants to do. This is important when you think about rules/guidelines etc for how you do things; you can't control somebody else's behaviour, but you can control your responses to it.

I think the TLDR version of this is: ethical non-monogamy is possible, but it will be really hard work. Is it something you want to try, or do you want to separate or are you both happy remaining married as you are?

Couples counselling from somebody with experience with ethically non-monogamous/polyamorous relationships might not be a bad idea for you to explore all of this further. Pink Therapy www.pinktherapy.com/ is a good place to go looking for somebody suitable.

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/12/2019 19:59

Is marriage defined purely by sex nowadays...? I would imagine that most couples who have been together so long experience droughts in intimacy...

Sex is what makes marriage different from other sorts of relationships. It’s a normal healthy part of a loving partnership. No one has the right to sex but equally no one has the right to take it off the table forever and expect their spouse to be celibate.

This would be a drought if they were ever going to do it again. OP is clear they’re not. At the point you’re alright with your husband paying to fuck other women the love is gone and the intimacy isn’t coming back.

PhilCornwall1 · 28/12/2019 20:01

was suggesting that prostitution is inherently rape

I think that's an insult to anyone who is a victim of rape.

bd67th · 28/12/2019 20:02

ohprettybaby Using an escort isn't rape. An escort has to consent.

Tell that to the trafficked women in pop-up brothels. Tell that to the pimped women in Holbeck.

lovelypumpkin · 28/12/2019 20:02

What would he/you think about FWB, where two people get on fine, enjoy sex with each other but don't want any kind of emotional intimacy with each other?

BrendasUmbrella · 28/12/2019 20:02

She's hardly selfish to not want to have sex after her sexual organs were so badly damaged by childbirth that sex is now painful for her. Is she supposed to just silently scream into a pillow whenever he feels like having an orgasm? I'm glad at least that the legend "if the genders were reversed" has not been invoked yet...

Are you satisfied that you've had enough assistance medically? It's unusual to be experiencing pain 10 years after the birth of your last child. Have doctors given you a diagnosis? Perhaps a good first step might be investing some money and time into proper investigation of your physical problems. Painful sex now could easily translate into pain walking in a decade or two. Look at the physical causes first. Then you can both decide about how you would like your sex lives to proceed without any other complicating factors.

Gazelda · 28/12/2019 20:02

OP, I feel for you. You have had some terrible unhappiness. I hope you are able to access individual counselling to come to terms with your upbringing, sexuality, his affair, your births.

But from his perspective, I don't think I could stomach living with someone who can't be intimate, and who believes herself to be gay. No matter of the reasoning behind these two issues, the end result is a huge rejection of him.

BlokeNumber9 · 28/12/2019 20:03

You're gay and (so) you hate having sex with your husband.
As others have said, get divorced. For everybody's sake.

IdiotInDisguise · 28/12/2019 20:06

OP, he has already signed out, he wants to fall in love. It is better to split with dignity and parent your kids together as friends than trying to get him to see prostitutes so you can keep him.