To think it's weird that she used the family bathroom?

[FairfaxAikman]

Friend of mine visited the house yesterday.

She's been here before and knows we have a downstairs guest loo but yesterday when she asked to use the loo she went upstairs to the main bathroom (which was in a bit of a mess as wasn't expecting anyone to see it)
To do so she had to navigate two baby gates, so it's not like it's the easier option.

AIBU to think it's weird?

Does it flush better?! I always wanted to use my ex in laws upstairs loo because I never knew if the downstairs one would flush!

Only on mumsnet have I come across people so uptight about natural bodily functions. If you didn't have a medical condition before, regularly holding it in when you need to go may well result in one 😆.

Some people on this thread are so weird about people pooing in their house. And why are some rooms off-limits?

Maybe nosing through your bedroom would be weird but otherwise 🤷🏼‍♀️

Some people would benefit from doing a massive poo in someone else's house - might relax a bit

In lots of older London flats, there is a guest cloakroom and then another bathroom (possibly Ensuite but not always) The idea was that the guest cloakroom was for .....guests, meaning the owners of the property could ensure their own bathroom was private and not visited by guests. Often the guest cloakroom was in the hall, so not off a kitchen or other room and actually pretty private.

Most people don't poo whilst visiting other people's houses - they do it in the morning or evening in their own homes. Of course, anyone can be caught short and some people are less, hmmmm.....regular!

Unless I know someone really well, when visiting I don't go upstairs in their home. Down stairs is for visitors. Therefore I would use the downstairs loo if there was one and only go upstairs if there wasn't one.

So, who knows why this visitor went upstairs. I probably wouldn't have given it much thought to be honest, but would actually expect that most guests would use the downstairs cloakroom. Therefore, I think the extent of criticism of Op is a bit harsh, because people seem to be suggesting a guest should feel free to go to any bathroom, whilst in fact I think that generally guests should use the downstairs loo - it's what it's for. I couldn't get worked up about one guest going upstairs if they did it once, but if they always did it, and I preferred my own bathroom to be kept private, I might just light heartedly mention that there is a guest cloakroom.

I would certainly not expect someone to be going into an Ensuite.

Now there's set times of day that it's normal to evacuate. That's a new one 😆

Most people don't poo whilst visiting other people's houses - they do it in the morning or evening in their own homes.

I love this assertion about the daily bowel habits of most people.

It's not weird at all.

She clearly needed privacy and you can literally hear everything in a downstairs loo.

The issue here is not that she used your upstairs loo or that she's strange, the issue here is you are peeved because your bathroom was untidy and that's YOUR problem.

Don't make this something it isn't. It makes you a bad friend.

whilst in fact I think that generally guests should use the downstairs loo - it's what it's for.

No it isn’t.
Not everyone has a downstairs loo.
I’d rather people used my upstairs loo as my downstairs one is off my kitchen and has a glass door!

Is it the rod that some people clearly need to remove from their arses that means they can only poo at home?

@mrsagassi

“ I’m obviously going to be considered odd, but I think it’s rude to go upstairs in someone’s house without asking”

I agree, I would never go upstairs without permission, Unless downstairs toilet was occupied (and then I would ask first).

Also, wouldn’t think twice about going at work, someone’s else, when shopping. When you’ve got to go, you have got to go!

I work in a school which has two disabled loos which anyone can use but they are avoided and everyone seems to stink out the six cubicles . Unacceptable and shameless

I’m not disabled. I don’t have a health condition. So I won’t use the disabled loo.
However, if I need to poo then I need to poo. I have zero shame about that.

I'd wait until I got home rather than do a #2 in someone else's house. Our downstairs toilet is as far as possible from any of the rooms as it's possible to get, I've never known anybody go upstairs rather than use that one.

Boak at the one that is off the kitchen, you wouldn't get buildings control approval for that now - at least two doors need to separate a toilet from a kitchen I believe.

Not true about two doors any more.

Those who say they would never poo at someone else’s house, what about if you are staying with someone?

I am with OP here - any guests are meant to use our downstairs loo, I would expect them to know that. We have two upstairs bathrooms, one for DH, youngest DD and me and another for other three DC. I would be annoyed if a guest randomly used any of those as they might not be particularly tidy and yes, because I prefer them to just be used by the family!

Why am I so late to this, the best thread ever

I have gone through my WHOLE LIFE not knowing that people won’t want me going in their upstairs bathroom

What happened to mi casa su casa?

Guests in my house have free reign to wee and poo wherever (in a toilet, preferably)

Not had a good old fashioned weird toilet thread for a while!

I wonder how some people on MN think people with only one bathroom cope with life?

Personally, downstairs loos are for a quick wee or washing your hands, anything else needs a bigger bathroom.

I couldn't get worked up about one guest going upstairs if they did it once

That’s awfully decent of you.

Oops forgot to say, if upstairs bathroom needed to be used, I would also ask if if was ok to use it.

How can so many people shit on command if they're only doing it the morning/at night? Are you all trained like dogs?

”Not everyone has a downstairs loo.
I’d rather people used my upstairs loo as my downstairs one is off my kitchen and has a glass door!”

So you can keep an eye on your chips?

Only on Mumsnet does anyone give a shit sorry about which bloody toilet their visitor uses

I suppose you should be grateful she used a toilet, she could have shit on your carpet

@Batshittery totally on your side . Unless someone has a medical condition or a child - save your poo for when you go home . Trudging upstairs and climbing over stairgates is basically outing yourself anyway. Might have well just announced - “I’m going for a poo!” I also wouidn’t dream of going at work . I get really angry when I go in the toilet and have to inhale someone else’s stinky arse! Why should they be inflicted to my bowels? Would rather hold it in till I get home and if I can’t - it means I’m ill and I go home

This!

If you need to poo go home. All these posters happy to shit at someone else's house but need more privacy/don't want to be heard. Bugger off home. And stop shitting in work you stinking animals, no one wants to go for a wee and have to inhale your shit particles. Animals.

I agree with @lovemenorca 😆

"If you need to poo go home. All these posters happy to shit at someone else's house but need more privacy/don't want to be heard. Bugger off home. And stop shitting in work you stinking animals, no one wants to go for a wee and have to inhale your shit particles. Animals."

This is nuttier than squirrel shit.

If I really think hard and try to find an opinion on guests and their usage of my facilities, I'd probably rather they used the upstairs toilet. For the same reason that I would when I have guests.

My downstairs toilet door is literally six feet away from my sofa. I don't really want to hear what's going on in there, any more than ny guests want me to hear their activities. Or I want them to hear me.