To think it's weird that she used the family bathroom?

[FairfaxAikman]

Friend of mine visited the house yesterday.

She's been here before and knows we have a downstairs guest loo but yesterday when she asked to use the loo she went upstairs to the main bathroom (which was in a bit of a mess as wasn't expecting anyone to see it)
To do so she had to navigate two baby gates, so it's not like it's the easier option.

AIBU to think it's weird?

If you need a tinkle in the downstairs loo then I find a tinkly laugh will cancel out any embarrassing noises. A poo though is trickier. Best to just brave it out and shout “bombs away!” while humming the tune from Dambusters?

Let the poor woman poo FGS!

All these people horrified by having to go for a poo anywhere but at home have clearly never had any experience of IBS or any bowel / digestive conditions. I wish I had the freedom to choose where and when I needed to go. It's a natural bodily function we need to live there are far too many prissy people

Obviously had to take a shite

@Bazbear I do have IBS actually so clearly you are wrong in your assumption.

I would not inflict the aftermath of a flair up at anyone else's house. Dear god no!

I've made myself vomit just with the smell. If I'm having a bad time I stay home.

There are so many things about MN that I adore, and number one on my list is people's weird relationships with toilets. So many posters offended that toilets get used for their purpose I often wonder if I'm the only one who uses other people's toilets, sits on the seat and sometimes poo's

@MaidenMotherCrone so if you are out and it suddenly flares what do you do just shit yourself because that is what would happen to me if I didn't go to a close available toilet, I don't always have enough warning to make sure I am at home we don't all have the same privilege as you clearly

Until I found MN, I assumed any normal person would have a dump and / or a piss in the available toilet, whether at work or when visiting

I don't know whether such threads disproportionately attract the poo-withholders, or whether MN is abnormal .... or whether I am

I'd avoid using a dirty loo, but otherwise I use one whenever I need to, wherever I am.

It is unhealthy to habitually withhold poop or urine

How do people even function at work if they have to sit clenching their buttocks for several hours ?

iirc the old driving test manual used to warn about drivers withholding "natural functions" for too long because it can significantly affect concentration

@Bazbear as I said during a flare up I cannot leave the house. I have no warning.

When I'm well I'm regular as clockwork ( about 5 mins after I wake) as long as I avoid triggering foods.

I don't eat out as that's a recipe for disaster.

I'm not privileged but I do live a quite restricted life because of IBS.

@MaidenMotherCrone fair enough of you don't eat out etc. It is an absolute pain of a condition it's caused me many times of embarrassment and uncomfort from a young age as mine can be quite extreme so can't enjoy things as much as others luckily now things like this tend to be more accepted by some people so I don't feel as bad but in the past it has meant I have been quite upset through shame from it

Does nobody else not feel even a bit awkward if you're at work and you are in one of say 4/5 cubicles trying to go for a quiet poo, but let out a fart, then have to face people you know at the wash sink?

That is extremely embarrassing and awkward for me. Not sure why but it just is. As in I literally want the ground to swallow me.

Likewise.. When I can hear people letting it all out and farting like mad.. I kinda think, really?

I don't have IBS but why the hell should someone who does be forced to shut themselves away constantly rather than use a toilet for it's intended purpose? I have a friend who has a digestive issue which means she always has to be close to a toilet if she wasn't allowed to use a toilet to poo in she wouldn't be able to leave the house. If you personally only want to poo at home that's fine but it would be incredibly callous to impose your neuroses on other people in a way which would severely limit their lives.

If someone did a horribly stinky shit in my house I'd open a window, spray some air freshener around and live through it.

I don't give a shit what she did in there (pardon the pun) I just find going upstairs uninvited odd, especially when the guest loo is actually more private as theres an additional door between you and the living room.

My fil does this. It's annoying.

I would find it a little odd if someone went upstairs when there was a much nearer loo available, but it wouldn't bother me particularly. As regards poo-ing at work: do those who comment on this really think that everyone who isn't totally 'regular' should just take time off sick whenever they need to 'go'? How many workplaces will just accept needing the loo as an illness that requires time off?

My own sister did this the other day and it still really pissed me off. Not for a crap either, unless she's the fastest crapper in the world which I know she's not. I'm with you OP.

Maybe she just wanted to look at what products you use she might be buying you a present.
You know you could just ask her why she prefers the upstairs bathroom.

Definitely having a number 2.