He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

I don’t like being called girl either @cherryblossomgin but I bite my tongue most of the time because I know that no offence is meant (usually).

My FIL was at mine just before Christmas and my sister and I were in the living room so DH and he went into the kitchen, he said ‘I’ll leave you two to your girly chat whilst we go into the kitchen and have a mans chat.’ Eye twitch and inward cringe from both me and Dsis but we just rolled our eyes at each other and chuckled and continued our very ‘girly’ chat about my psychology course 😊. FIL is 73 - he’s a lovely bloke but he’s well meaning. I can see why a guy you barely know saying it may have irked you, but it’s not usually said with derision in my experience.

And well meaning* don’t know where the but came into that sentence!

I’d be pleased to be called a girl ! Woman sounds oooold 😬

I should add I am in my late 40’s !

One of the girls or lads is a compliment in your 50's.

All groups of females round here are referred to as "the girls"

Am happy to be called a girl, love or anything . I take no notice of dh referring to such , something like that would be the least of my worries.

But we are all different. To me it is harmless .

SarahNade I tend to you use guys.

Well into my 60s, I’m still happy to be one of the girls, and call my DDs the girls too.

Funnily enough, when this subject comes up on Gransnet, the most hated form of address by far is “you guys”.

You’re being ridiculous.

I couldn’t read the whole thread because I can’t believe how many people think this is non issue.
I think it would be reasonable next time, to say something like haha I haven’t been a girl for at least a decade!
I think the fact that so many women think it’s not offensive means it may be met with
Personally I think using the term girl or girls referring to a woman or a group of women is a great example of how patriarchy and misogyny persists.

Take it in the manner in which it was spoken. At work it could be cringy, at home, why be so picky?

You seem a bit boasty about your fancy topics. Does that mean you are fancier than the rest of us?

I dont think you've got enough going on in your life if this bothers you!

I find referring to women as girls offensive, and if someone uses the phrase in my presence and I am offended, I tell them so.
However I do have female adult friends that refer to doing stuff with female friends rather than mixed group with partners as "girls holiday"/"going out with the girls" etc, I cringe, but don't correct them if that is how the choose to define themselves, up to them.

I hate love and Madam

This girl/lady/woman bows down to the wokeness on this thread...

I'm with OP. I hate the infantilisation and elevation of youth.
I'm 39, if someone calls me a girl, I correct them to say 'fully grown woman'.

I really wish this was all I had to worry about in life

Non issue, another one.

Wow, you're very easily offended! Get a grip. I'm 31 and call my girlfriends 'the girls'. Such a non issue.

I'm with OP. I hate the infantilisation and elevation of youth.
I'm 39, if someone calls me a girl, I correct them to say 'fully grown woman'.

🙄

Perfectly everyday language where I come from. If you don’t like it say something. Otherwise it’s not exactly an insult is it. I get so fed up with people constantly analysing language like this.

We used to have a board member at work who used to come in the office & day ‘hi girls’ - that used to irritate the life out of me. He was an old guy & clearly stuck in the 70’s & it was just the way he was but i found it utterly patronising in a professional work environment. He said lots of other far more inappropriate things to others though.

However, if the context is ‘are you out with the girls tonight?’ Then I’d see that as ok, I go out with the girls, we go on girly weekends. This context is not demeaning or patronising, nor is the intention.

I think it’s all about the environment & intention. Did he mean to patronise you? I suspect not. Remember that offence is taken not given.

I've said it to men at work.

They give me a look but whatever.

Why not just say I'll ask X or Y (to do the work for me that is admin so I feel it's beneath me) rather than breezily 'oh I'll get the girls to do it'.

Oh dear I think you have taken the PC a bit to seriously, unless you see this as a term of endearment and are feeling insecure I think you should relax or you will make your self look a lot less attractive than 'the girls'

@usernamepp why the 🙄 face to @Putyourdamnshoeson?

Cheer up, love, it may never happen!