He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

You are the one being obtuse. Meanings change depending on context. I suppose I am a girly girl if I think about it in that I have breasts and a vagina. Anyway myself and my friends call each other the girls and have girly days out with not a sniff of Prosecco or spa treatments in sight so that alone ruins your theory

I go out with the girls. Dh goes out with the boys. Or lads. Or friends. Or loads of Other names we both use to describe going out with our friends.

Can't see the problem myself!

It's funny how women say they are out with their 'girlfriends' but men never say they are out with their 'boyfriends'.

It's mates, lads, boys...

And a lad's night out?

'I'm most definitely not a girly girl'

But according to you girly can mean doing /wearing traditionally masculine things.

No one but no one on hearing the word girly thinks butch. To claim that people pointing this out are sexist is quite bonkers. To justify the use of sexist terms by pretending they don't mean what they are commonly understood to mean is the sexist thing to do.

I've never said 'girlfriends' to refer to my female friends. I don't actually know anyone who does.

I'd just say 'friends' as would teen dd.

Dh and his friends say they're going on a 'boys' walking weekend. All are adult males. They use boys way more than lads. In fact amongst my friends it is the men most likely to say boys than the women to say girls.

@cherryblossomgin what's your real worry about him? It's not just about being called girls is it?

I've never said 'girlfriends' to refer to my female friends. I don't actually know anyone who does

A lot of older women who I work with do.

Well into my 50's and refer to my friends of 40+ years, "the girls" and other friends.

Certainly wouldn't say "I'm out with the ladies, next week" to my husband🙄

Perfectly normal.

If you don't like it mention it. He probably doesn't realise you fibf it offensive I wouldn't see it as a huge issue. I have a friend who always says girls to talk about women in their 60s but she calls men boys too.

Girly when referring style is different to girly in reference to a night out. For me, girly night out means a night out with the girls, it's just a different way of saying it. "Girly toy" or "girly girl" is clearly a different context.

Maybe it's just because people I know use it, but if someone said somebody was "girly" that would mean they had a stereotypically feminine style to me, but yet it doesn't have the same association when used in reference to days out/night out. But then, I'm probably the odd one.

Well, I call my DS (who's 12) and my DH (who's 60) 'the boys' - if I'm saying to my sister 'oh the boys have gone swimming'. I also say 'I'm meeting the girls for coffee' - meaning my friends (I'm in my 50s). Depends who says it and who they're describing.

Eh?

I don't understand the issue. I call the women at work The girls. They're all adult married women with kids. I call my daughters The girls if I'm referring to them both. They're adults.
I call my son's The boys, again, adults, along with the men at work and my husband's workmates.
It doesn't mean I see them as kids, it's just a term.
I'm the oldest at work, my colleagues call me Mother. Clearly I'm not their mother. Should I be offended? I'm not.

My neighbour, who is about my age, regularly greets my daughter (aged 8) and myself with a cheerful, ‘Good morning, girls!’ and I like it. It makes me feel younger!

Well, after this enlightening thread you now know that the correct response would be to get irritated and scream at them ‘how fucking dare you’.

For me, there can be a difference between how you refer to yourself ('the girls') and how you refer to other people / other people refer to you, eg a man referring to women as 'girls' - in a work context, it's just wrong, IMO.

Here's an analogy: I might describe my car affectionately as 'the old wreck', but I would be offended if a neighbour or a colleague used the same words to describe it in my hearing.

So all these women referring to other woman as girls are in the wrong?

some like it, some (like me) don't. If anyone refers to me as a "girl" (either individually or as part of a group) I ask them not to.
If they do it again I tell them not to.
If they do it again I tell them to get to fuck with annoying me.

I don’t like it either at all but I feel like you’re reaching here, @cherryblossomgin. It’s as if you’re surprised at hearing a very, widespread application of a common word.

I notice you used the term (BF) “boyfriend” to denote your sister’s paramour. Surely you should be referring to ”woman/manfriend” rather than such outdated terms as boyfriend/girlfriend which embed and perpetuate the infantilisation of grown men and women?

And what’s wrong with being a liberal anyway?

It's funny how women say they are out with their 'girlfriends' but men never say they are out with their 'boyfriends'.
I dont hear ' girlfriends,' in my social circle. Girls night out, lads night out etc
I dont like ' ladies '. it can sound a bit creepy in a Little Britain way when some people say it!🤣

Sorry maybe it's me I am a bit confused, you said DS which I assume is son? BF which I assume is your sons best friend, called you and DS girls? What?!

DS, in the context of this thread, means Darling Sister.

Keep up!

can't get wound up by this AT ALL.

just call 'em ciss and done with, 'night out with the ciss' 'hi ciss how are you ?' etc

If that was your biggest Christmas gripe then I'm coming to your house next year

happycamper not sure why you keep mentioning prosecco and spa treatments...unless you think that these are 'girly' things?