He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

You could wreak revenge by referring to him and his mates as 'the boys' but he'd probably just take it as a generic term of friendly endearment and not realise how powerfully you have diminished him in your eyes.

Brilliant!

Nobody has said that and you know that. You're just making situations up that fit your own agenda.

Calm down.

@NotACleverName

Huh? PP said just now that women will be happy to be referred to as girls when we start getting referred to as hags.

I have never heard that in real life! I suppose some women might regret to themselves that way, but in general, it's not a term used casually by men for groups of women they know.

I mean some groups of women might refer to themselves that way as a joke..

But it's not a general term I've heard used.

The alternative for men to referring to adult women as girls, is not hags. Other options are available

I go out with the girls my DH out with the boys.

What does it matter. What would you have preferred? Ladies? Women?

It’s a turn of phrase.

If that’s all you’ve got to worry about, you’re lucky!! Save your anger for something truly important!!

Jesus H Christ.... is this the full sum of your problems?

It is not remotely offensive, also, you're 31 not 81 so stop acting like a miserable old lady looking to find fault.

Better still, get a hobby.

In support OP I don’t like it either, haven’t been a girl for quite a while. I grew up a while ago. Drives me mad when I hear people say ‘ a young girl, about 20’ that’s not a young girl, a young girl is about 4. As well as being annoying I believe it does impact the equality issue and perpetuates the problems we have, in the workplace etc. But given what I have read above I’m in the minority.

I don't mind it, because people equally refer to a group of male friends as "the boys".

I would be annoyed by this in a professional setting, but not in a social one.

Local, would you be annoyed at a woman who referred to s group of men in the workplace as "boys"?

I honestly thought i was missing something in the op
I cant get my head arpu d someone taki g offence to this
Im actually baffled

YABU

Fragging:
No one is saying that it is a common term but I've heard a 'woman' use it when referring to an 'old girl' on an estate who was a 'meddlesome old witch' and a few other references. My comment was that most women would rather have the lighter reference as girls, with all it can mean, rather than being called some term that means they are old and getting older such as battleaxe. Being PC is of no use to anyone and causes unnecessary friction.

Goodness sake, does it matter? I'm heading to 60 and occasionally referred to as a girl! Worry about real problems.

It's all about context. At work someone called the admin team 'the girls' but wouldn't have dreamed (or had the nerve) to call the rest of us, who were highly paid professionals, the same. I called them out on it even though I wasn't been referred to as a girl, and they really couldn't see how offensive it was in that context. However, if I'm seeing my friends I'll say 'I'm meeting the girls'

YABU, referring to women as girls is extremely common, as in meeting up with the girls etc, what would you prefer?

Meh! I couldn't get worked up about this! I love a girls night / girls weekend!

aanorthcote👏👏👏

All you AIBU posters seem to be a bit fragile, try living in the real world

OP, what would you call a group of females? You Women? I don't know, it sounds rather.....like a pejorative term men use, like 'Hey! Hey, you women! Over here. (with finger jabbed in the air at the group)' Or something. I would prefer girls over women. Women just feels abrasive somehow. But maybe that's just me. Other than 'you girls', 'you women', 'you females', what else is there? You gals, I suppose. As in gals for females and guys for males. I tend to say 'you guys' or 'us guys will....' for women, which you'd probably think sounds worse.

I have a friend who has 2 brothers, have known her since I was 12. She still refers to them as 'the boys' or if we're all together, she'll say 'you boys can get us some more wine while you're down the road'. It's just a habit that people have.

I have large groups of female and male friends. We are all in our 50’s and 60’s. Call each other the boys and the girls. It’s fine.

I always say ‘The girls’ when I speak about DD and her friends, so would DH, didn’t realise it was unacceptable
My Dad would say ‘the girls’ if referring to a group of women he knew well, or us lot. He may not have used it in a work setting, but it’s hardly a big deal anyway is it!?