Is 26 considered young to have a baby?

[Niki93]

Hi. Im 26, been with my partner 4 years now. We bought our first house in 2018, both work full time and we just about get on in life fine. We arent massive high earners, but we arent idiots with money, we prioritise and save up so everything works out well. Without sounding at all egotistical, we’re probably abit more ahead of others in our friendship group in terms of maturity/goals etc. But that’s not to say we’re Any better than anyone of course, we just put our heads together, work well together and work hard for what we have really. And now with a baby on the way we’re deffo growing up even more and starting a new chapter with new priorities. Which we enjoy!

We announced our pregnancy in November. Im due in May. Its my first pregnancy and we’re very excited. Everyones been over the moon for us, its been lush. But, one thing ive noticed a few people mention is categorising me as a ‘young mam’. I didnt really think this was the case. Is it?

Im not offended at all. Im just abit curious. I considered 16-23 young ish. Not 26. I know a mixture of people who’ve had children at different life stages. My cousins 30 and still wants to wait untill she has children which is absolutely fine. Then my mam had my sister at 18 and still managed well untill me and my brother came along a few years later. I thought 26 was more medium average age?

Not really a AIBU questions, just asking out of curisosiry if people would class 26 as young to have a child, or not. :) whats your thoughts x

Rubbish, I have worked my way up (while being a single mum of 3) and my company paid for me to do my degree, now in my 40s I am not restricted by young children.

Impossible everywhere I have worked. Many friends tell the same story. Like I said, depends on what you want to achieve.

I'm pregnant at 26. Just got back from 2.5 years teaching abroad in Asia. I'm also a qualified secondary english teacher here. So no, having a baby at 26 doesn't mean you have no aspirations for travel, or a career. Some of us have managed to fit that all in by 26.

I do feel young though for my demographic though. I'm the first of my friends, middle class graduates, to be pregnant. Not young as in, oh my I'm too young, people will think my son is my baby brother. But young as in the expectation was for me to have had my a first baby around 30.

So no, having a baby at 26 doesn't mean you have no aspirations for travel, or a career. Some of us have managed to fit that all in by 26.

Of course it doesn’t mean that, nobody said it did. However, to pretend it doesn’t limit your options is disingenuous.

I'm 26 and I'm done having children! Have two dds and that's more than enough.

I wouldn't want to be older. I feel more tired this time than last (was 20 with dd1). Don't know how older mums do it!

One of the previous posters said just that actually. That having a baby at 26 was all well and good for those with no desire to travel, or have a career.
And actually no, in my profession, education, having a child won't limit my career progression, or options at all. There's plenty of mothers who have full time permanent posts. There's also plenty of mothers who prefer part time permanent posts. There's maternity cover, and emergency cover. There's private tuition. There's online Skype tuition. The list goes on.

Also having a baby doesn't bar me from teaching abroad again. There's private schools, army base schools, and British international schools all over the world.

I think it’s a fine time

Where I live people have their kids usually between 18 and 30. Having babies over 30 is seen as old and over 40 is very frowned upon.

One of the previous posters said just that actually.

Fair enough, although I dismissed that particular poster as it’s a ridiculous generalization and was completely patronizing.

Many people can have children at 26 and it not be a problem, others couldn’t. Depends on the career and I don’t think it’s helpful to pretend that all careers are compatible with that. Nothing is worse or better, it’s just about individual choice and what you want to do. The problem with this kind of debate is people get too defensive rather than objectively examining the reality. Like all things in life, the answer is fairly nuanced and involves trade offs. Do what makes you happy people, we’re all different.

I had my first young at 22, my second at 28. I think women fool themselves that there is more time to have children. I’ve had friends who waited until 30 to try only to find out that they couldn’t and might have had more chance of they’d tried earlier. I have PCOS and my periods really slowed at 30. 26 is a good age

Babies only hold you back if you want them to, you can absolutely progress at work, train or re-train, work/study abroad etc. Harder for some, yes absolutely. With my first I was a young single mum with zero family support but I still managed to work my way up and establish myself at work. I’m not retraining with three children for a career change, it can be done.

That's true it does depend on the profession. I've heard firefighters, and surgeons have a hard time balancing children and their career, as they have to be on call all the time.
I think by 26 though most people have had time to get atleast a degree, see a bit of the world, and get stuck into a career.

Ya. It is. If you think you've sufficiently experienced life at 26 to produce another human I would argue that makes you naive

I don't think you're too young at all!

I was 27 and 28 when we had our girls and I'm now 39 with 10 & 12 year old daughters. Lots of my similarly aged friends have only started trying for babies in the last couple of years and a couple have had trouble conceiving due to their age, so I'm all for having children younger if your relationship and situation are right.

All being well, both of our daughters should be off at University by the time I'm 48!

Good luck with your new baby!

@Muna everyone’s life is vastly different to the others. I know sheltered 32 year olds, pampered 26 year olds and 17 year olds that have seen and been through some of the most difficult things life has to offer.

Age is but a number there is no magic life experience tick box that you reach, it’s more naive to think that older means better.

I think age is only one factor. Id want my children to have traveled a little, had some fun times without responsibilities, be stable in their career, have their own home and savings and of course a stable long term relationship preferably married before making the huge commitment of children.

Pregnant at 26 and 28 - definitely not considered young!

Average age in 2018 was just over 30 so statistically you are a bit younger than average. I reckon it’s a great age to have a baby if you feel ready though.

I had my first at 23, had been married for two years by then and had several miscarriages. I didn’t consider myself young then. I had my 2nd at 25 and 3rd at 28.

I think these days it is quite young yes, certainly younger than average, but not ridiculously so. I wouldn’t have wanted a baby at that age and don’t know anyone in my circle of friends or family who had them as young as that. Youngest was around 28/29. Mind you the midwife said when I was pregnant with mine I was a young un and I was 32 😅 congratulations

I had my first at 24 (10 years ago) and was told I was an old Mam

Who told you that? I had mine at 32 and 35 13 and 11 years ago and no one said that to me, in fact the midwife at the booking with my first said I was young! My mum was an elderly primagravida when she had me, she was 25, that was 46 years ago though!

I was 23 when I had DS. The youngest of the other mums in the postnatal group were the best part of a decade older and I had little in common with them. One day I plucked up the courage to ask the receptionist at the clinic if I could join a young mums' group which I'd seen on the notice board. She gave me a strange look and asked me how old I actually was - it turned out that the "young mums' group" was only for teenagers, and from her attitude it seemed like something rather stigmatizing as well.

My mum had me at 24 and that was pretty much the norm at the time. But for a couple of older outliers, everyone's mum was about the same age. Fast forward a generation and it seems that you're not supposed to get pregnant until you're in fertility's last chance saloon. Someone must still be having babies in their 20s, but I didn't ever run across them when I was that age!

I had my second at 26, loved it. Don't think it's young at all!

@MunaZaldrizoti Actually I think you making that comment shows that you are the naive one