Is 26 considered young to have a baby?

[Niki93]

Hi. Im 26, been with my partner 4 years now. We bought our first house in 2018, both work full time and we just about get on in life fine. We arent massive high earners, but we arent idiots with money, we prioritise and save up so everything works out well. Without sounding at all egotistical, we’re probably abit more ahead of others in our friendship group in terms of maturity/goals etc. But that’s not to say we’re Any better than anyone of course, we just put our heads together, work well together and work hard for what we have really. And now with a baby on the way we’re deffo growing up even more and starting a new chapter with new priorities. Which we enjoy!

We announced our pregnancy in November. Im due in May. Its my first pregnancy and we’re very excited. Everyones been over the moon for us, its been lush. But, one thing ive noticed a few people mention is categorising me as a ‘young mam’. I didnt really think this was the case. Is it?

Im not offended at all. Im just abit curious. I considered 16-23 young ish. Not 26. I know a mixture of people who’ve had children at different life stages. My cousins 30 and still wants to wait untill she has children which is absolutely fine. Then my mam had my sister at 18 and still managed well untill me and my brother came along a few years later. I thought 26 was more medium average age?

Not really a AIBU questions, just asking out of curisosiry if people would class 26 as young to have a child, or not. :) whats your thoughts x

I think this is dependent on where you are in the country. When I had my first at 33 I still felt a bit young. 😂 Clearly I wasn’t but where I lived the average age was probably about 35!

I have never known one single woman who had babies really young, and then went on to achieve high academic qualifications, and build a very successful career (or build a massively successful business.)

I knew one. She had a baby at 17 and went to Oxford when the child started school. This was in the good old days of full grants and council flats for those in high priority. She wanted to become a teacher, and had such incredible drive that I've no doubt she is at the top of whatever profession she went into.

Another girl a couple of years younger than me had 4 (I think) DCs in her late teens and early 20s. Her husband was a member of a very large and notoriously rough local family and I really thought it would end badly for her. The husband is a chef, and for the last few years they have run a very successful and fancy restaurant in one of the poshest local villages. Neither she nor her husband is educated, but nobody can deny that they have done incredibly well.

These girls might be outliers but I think it's important to focus on success stories. There's nothing constructive about telling young women that their lives will be ruined if they get pregnant before some arbitrary age.

Charlotte a perfect comment!

I had DD when I was 28 and DS when I was 30. We were (almost) the first amongst our peers to have children (both DH and I are educated to PhD level).

All our friends thought we were crazy at the time. We’re now 44, and they’re all jealous that We have teenagers when they have toddlers .

Thanks @CFlemingSmith! Your story of success and early motherhood is very inspiring.

Having DD at 28 hasn’t impeded my career at all - in fact these days DH and I earn around £200k between us (I’m the higher earner).

Play the odds or look to the outliers, choice is yours. It’s perfectly constructive to make people aware of the choices they make.

Married at 22, ds1 at 23 and Ds2 at 26. They are now 9 and 7. I'd say out of my friends from school tho most are only starting families now

@snowball28

17 year olds that have seen and been through some of the most difficult things life has to offer

Irrelevant. Please don't use ridiculous nonsense like this to advocate for children having children. 17 is a child. 26 is barely much more than that. Besides, the planet is dying. OP ought to consider whether having children at all is sensible. We all should.

I had DD a few weeks before turning 27.

Definitely not too young but people do seem to comment. We were married homeowners, good jobs. I think it’s the perfect age. I’d hate to wait longer and have to worry about fertility. When I’m 35 I want have my life/ figure back and be enjoying my children - not stuck at home with a newborn!

Practically a child 😘 I was out partying at 26, got married at 35, had my first child at 36 and frankly wished I'd got down to it a decade earlier.! I'll be nearing retirement when my kids are leaving uni. and I'm unlikely to meet my grandchildren.

Do.What.Works.For.You!

Muna.
There's almost a decade, and a great deal of difference between and 17 year old and a 26 year old. I have some dice in this game.
My mum had me at 17.
I'm having my first at 26.
One of us was able to vote, graduate from uni twice, live independently, travel, party, and work extensively with children before pregnancy.
I'm sure my mother would agree we've had massively different life experiences.

@MunaZaldrizoti

What an overly angry and immature response, some serious growing up for you to do my lovely. You’ve gained nothing from having a strop apart from looking stupid.

@MunaZaldrizoti

Have you got children?

I'm quite pleased that I'll be in my forties when both my children reach adulthood.

I went to uni at 17, did a degree and postgrad with several years of work before having first DC at 27

Not at all. You’re in a stable relationship, both good with money. It’s not like you’ve rushed into this without thinking!

When we were at our girls school in the 1990s, we were taught that getting pregnant young was basically the worst thing that could EVER happen. Our lives would be destroyed.

Now I wonder...if I'd had a baby at 17 for example, I'd be in my early thirties when they'd be an older teen and free to work without any restrictions...considering we'll be expected to work well into our sixties, this doesn't sound like such an awful idea...beginning a career in our thirties after having children, rather than establishing one and taking a break and dealing with childcare issues in our thirties/forties.

I had 3 and was pregnant with my 4th at 26.

I think it's a bit young if you look at average stats these days, but it's a perfectly respectable age, particularly if you're settled with a steady partner. I think women have generally pushed back having children to go to uni and start careers, so they get around to it later - but that doesn't mean your 20s are too young.

I'm not sure where some PPs are getting the idea that you can't have a stable career by 26 from? I went to uni aged 18, graduated aged 21 and went immediately into my job/career, where I have moved and progressed for the past 6 years; its the same for pretty much all of my friends and colleagues of a similar age. It's really sad that a few PPs think you haven't got your life together at 26 and therefore are not in a stable position to have children. Believe me... I've met a few people 3x my age throughout my career who definitely don't! Age doesn't come into it at all!

Not young in my opinion but not old either . I had dd when 29 and ds at 30. Just depends on life circumstances and when you feel ready.

I don’t think 26 is considered as young. I lived in the city and had my first at 23 and second at 26 and never felt particularly young, however I do now I’ve moved out of the city to a different area, where I am now the youngest parent at the school, others are 10+ years older.

@formerbabe yes I think there’s definitely some truth that if you have (and finish having) babies by your early 20s then you do get that freedom back whilst young and can kind of crack on without having to think ‘oh god I’m going to have to go through pregnancy/babies/toddlers/sleepless nights/childcare’- you’ve already done it all and it’s firmly in the past.

I know a couple of people who had their final baby at 22ish and in their 30’s they are really enjoying life with older kids/teens and the added freedom of better holidays, more sleep and everything else. But perhaps that kind of compensates missing out on fun 20’s.

But then I can think of women who had a baby at 16/17 then ended up in a new relationship and marrying and starting all over again in their 30’s.

Under 16 is young