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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is 26 considered young to have a baby?

308 replies

Niki93 · 27/12/2019 21:32

Hi. Im 26, been with my partner 4 years now. We bought our first house in 2018, both work full time and we just about get on in life fine. We arent massive high earners, but we arent idiots with money, we prioritise and save up so everything works out well. Without sounding at all egotistical, we’re probably abit more ahead of others in our friendship group in terms of maturity/goals etc. But that’s not to say we’re Any better than anyone of course, we just put our heads together, work well together and work hard for what we have really. And now with a baby on the way we’re deffo growing up even more and starting a new chapter with new priorities. Which we enjoy!

We announced our pregnancy in November. Im due in May. Its my first pregnancy and we’re very excited. Everyones been over the moon for us, its been lush. But, one thing ive noticed a few people mention is categorising me as a ‘young mam’. I didnt really think this was the case. Is it?

Im not offended at all. Im just abit curious. I considered 16-23 young ish. Not 26. I know a mixture of people who’ve had children at different life stages. My cousins 30 and still wants to wait untill she has children which is absolutely fine. Then my mam had my sister at 18 and still managed well untill me and my brother came along a few years later. I thought 26 was more medium average age?

Not really a AIBU questions, just asking out of curisosiry if people would class 26 as young to have a child, or not. :) whats your thoughts x

OP posts:
Joloh · 28/12/2019 07:06

It's a great age. I wish I had done it then!

PeachesandPie · 28/12/2019 07:08

Congratulations OP!

I had my first at 26 and was the first of my friends by a couple of years, and the youngest in antenatal class and lots of mum groups. But we were financially stable, had been together since teenagers, owned our houses and were ready. No regrets at all and I love that we will be child free in our 40s unlike some of our friends who will have young kids then.

MyOtherProfile · 28/12/2019 07:12

My first reaction was oh my gosh yes it's young. Then I thought about it and realised it's probably physically the perfect age. I was mid 30s having mine and expected to be the oldest mum at baby group but far from it. I was distinctly average and in fact I can't think of anyone I met at that point who was under 30 having a baby so I guess it depends on where you live.

xJodiex · 28/12/2019 07:12

No that's not young, it's a good age, not too young, not too old. Ideal Smile

NemophilistRebel · 28/12/2019 07:19

I would have loved my first st 26. My first came at 31 due to fertility and bad relationship issues

36 is good starting age in my opinion

ivykaty44 · 28/12/2019 07:27

Your not a young mum, it’s just others having a first are biological older

But you’re leaving yourself in a precarious position by not having got married, it’s nothing to do with morals. Unfortunately the way the laws work in this country your partnership is not equal 😪 and no one likes to think about the future in negative terms.

showmewhatyougot · 28/12/2019 07:46

I was 26 with my first too, never thought of myself as being a young mum either (especially as a lot of people where I live seem to get pregnant straight from school) but when I started going to baby groups etc, everyone there was 10+ years older then me. As others have said, I think a lot of people are just having baby's later now.

Don't worry about it though, no one really cares, all mum friends want it someone to talk about the same struggles and moan about crap, so it's very easy to find connections ;) x

Congratulations and good luck x

dirtyrottenscoundrel · 28/12/2019 07:48

I was having my 3rd at 25 Grin

thesethingstaketime2 · 28/12/2019 13:03

I think 26 is young. I had my first at 36 and I did so much during. 25 to 35. Travelled, saw the world and worked abroad. Really, the best years of my life. If you don't have dreams and aspirations for travel then I didn't think it's going.

BacktoMA · 28/12/2019 13:55

If you don't have dreams and aspirations for travel then I didn't think it's going.

This is such loaded and offensive thing to say, I'm just not the kind of person who thinks life stops when you have children. I have plenty of dreams and aspirations regarding travel as well as career etc, I got pregnant at 22, not planned, and if I listened to crap like this I'd have given up then and there. I've done more by 32 than most people I know, even those who haven't had kids yet.

Having children young doesn't make you uneducated (as others have suggested), or lacking aspiration or dreams, it makes you pretty fucking awesome if you manage to do that and live an fulfilling life and career outside of family. Some people are so small minded, live the life you want to live, but don't limit others with uninformed opinions.

CFlemingSmith · 28/12/2019 13:57

@BacktoMA

Perfect response Grin

ploughingthrough · 28/12/2019 13:59

I had my first at 26 - she's 7 now and I'm really glad I had her then. If you are in a relatively stable position then it's a great age. I was considered young by my friends and I was youngest in my baby group but it didn't matter.

Oksunny · 28/12/2019 14:03

25 with my first, 27 with my second. It’s a GREAT age in my opinion. You still have loads of energy & by the time my eldest is 25 I’ll only be 50 so loads of energy for my (maybe) grandkids.

People are having children later, there’s no doubt about that. Maybe that’s why you’re seen as young, but no... 10 years ago you would of been a young mum IMO.

EmrysAtticus · 28/12/2019 14:03

I have dreams and aspirations for travel. Now DS is older I can travel with him (I know some people travel with babies but DS had colic and reflux and didn't sleep, it was hard enough making it into town). Also I will only be 45 when he becomes an adult. Barring some awful accident or illness I will be fit and well and able to travel just as easily as a 20 something.

Ronnie27 · 28/12/2019 14:08

Perfect age I think. You’re a bit more mature and financially secure than early twenties but not past it biologically either. Congratulations!

mummypigx · 28/12/2019 14:14

Young. But I live in London and everyone has their first baby mid-30s where I live. I was an anomaly at 29!

SchoolPanicTime · 28/12/2019 14:14

I guess among graduates it is quite young but that doesn't mean it's not a good plan for you personally. I had my DC younger than any of my friends - I was ready and it wasn't a bad thing. The disadvantage are that my oldest friends were out of synch. Even now DC1 is 8 and they're just beginning to have kids. Likewise our siblings have no kids so I feel bad my DC aren't growing up with that network of other similar aged children. It also means that there is less chance of having fertility issues as some of my friends have had (yes you can have issues at any age but the chance increases with age). The other disadvantage is that financially we were less comfortable than we would have been - we've done quite well now so are able to give DC hobbies, nice schools etc but it was more of a rush than if we waited - it was worth it though.

mastertomsmum · 28/12/2019 14:18

Depends on the demographics where you live what locals consider young. Here - Oxbridge city centre - 34 is average. But I wouldn’t let it bother me if I was 26 and ready to have a child. 26 is a good age medically speaking

Underneaththetree · 28/12/2019 14:19

I think it’s true about different ‘circles’ eg graduates and MC. I noticed on Towie a lot of the women tend to have their first baby between 24 and 30ish. But on MIC hardly any of them start until beyond 30.

(I know how ridiculous this observation is Grin )

Pinkandwhitemarshmallows · 28/12/2019 14:32

I don't think it's young. I had my first at 26 16 years ago. I was the first in my friendship group, but the others soon followed having their first age 26/27/28.

I was the second oldest at baby group, the oldest being 30.

Some girls I went to school with had their first age 16, some waited until their 30s.

I'm 42 now and pregnant with number 6. No one else I went to school with/none of my friends have had babies in their 40s though, yet..

When I was pregnant with my first age 26 some people said I looked too young and I've even had the same comments now age 42! I must've found the fountain of youth! 😂

Skyejuly · 28/12/2019 14:37

Nope.
I had 1 and 2 at 17 and 18. Had my 3rd at 25 and that felt perfect.

AhoyMrBeaver · 28/12/2019 14:39

It's the ideal time to have a baby. The years of peak fertility and high physical resilience are what our bodies try to make us aim for.

formerbabe · 28/12/2019 14:53

I think it’s true about different ‘circles’ eg graduates and MC. I noticed on Towie a lot of the women tend to have their first baby between 24 and 30ish. But on MIC hardly any of them start until beyond 30

It's not ridiculous.

Amongst my group of middle class friends, I was the first at 26 and considered very young. Chatting to my hairdresser, she was 21 and the only one of her friends who hadn't had a baby yet.

CakeandCustard28 · 28/12/2019 15:03

I had my first at 19. 26 isn’t young at all lol.

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 28/12/2019 15:03

Wouldn’t say it’s particularly young but depends a lot on your social circles. I was pregnant with my first at 26, had her at 27. I was one of the younger ones in my antenatal group but always just very average at baby groups etc. I’m now pregnant with my second and will be almost 30 when they arrive, I will have two children by the time most of my friends from school have even had one! They are all married but having children is not a priority for them just now.