To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

[rosess]

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

@midsomermurderess
You sound like a nightmare. You make grandiose plans and everyone must fall into step with you or you kick off. It is not all about you

Grandiose plans? To celebrate their parents 50th wedding anniversary? How is that grandiose?
They've known about it for some time - why didn't they say No at the outset?

Of course the OP doesn't sound like a nightmare! Doesn't your family ever celebrate such events?

You’ve obviously never been to Glastonbury 🤣🤣

My fifteen year old would not forgive me for going to Glastonbury without her! We've been to loads of smaller festivals. Some she has missed and I've just taken her little brother as she has had other plans, which hasn't bothered her. She has categorically stated, however, that I would not be forgiven if I went to Glastonbury without her!

I wouldn’t miss my child’s birthday but each to their own. Really it’s between them and your parents/their DC and not you.

Also, there are ways of volunteering at Glasto if you are desperate to go. I have been five times and never paid for a ticket. People of all ages do it.

I'd choose glasto over a family event as well I'm afraid 😂😂

If I was 15, I'd have been pissed off at my parents not getting a ticket for me to go too, especially if my older 2 siblings were also going.

The organisers of Glastonbury have done such a good number setting the hype and reeling people in that people buy tickets before they even know whose playing- it really is a fantastic business model

Right, because in a world of broken marriages, 50 years of Glastonbury is waaaaaaay more important than your own parents being married for fifty years
No, OP, YANBU - if they are so into Glastonbury that they must be there, they surely knew about the dates at the time the party was being mooted. I know this is MN, where it's the law all GP must smilingly provide childcare but aren't ever allowed to have expectations of their grown children, to make up for the fact that it was so easy for their generation or some other shit ungrounded in reality, but what kind of imagination-less self-centred areshole would even think of doing this to a family member?

Mind you, I suppose if their parents had raised them correctly, then this wouldn't have happened, as the selfish shits would know that no matter what, you don't renege on an acceptance no matter what - so the parents only have themselves to blame

Just let people be for goodness sake!....It won't ruin the party unless you are determined to stay angry and focus on that instead of the anniversary!

We don't know what OP's parents think. OP says that her older niece spoke about the whole family having wanted to go for years - can't help wondering if OP has been railroading everyone else into a party that none of them want. It could well be that the party is more about OP's ego than even her parents' anniversary, hence the tantrumming.

they would rather behave like sad middle aged pratts chasing their youth Glastonbury does seem to be on quite a few boomers bucket list.
I usually agree that anniversaries are for the couple, but it could be argued that a significant landmark like 50 years should be a priority, particularly for a person whose very existence is because of this union. However, if it isn’t, then I can only assume your DB was not brought up to see his parents as an important part of who he is. I’m not saying this is wrong. There is a current thread that contains the comment from a poster that they are pleased to be alone at Christmas as it proves her DC are independent adults who no longer need her around to make significant events feel complete. So I can only conclude that your DB has clearly shown you, but most importantly his parents, just how important they are to him; and this attitude will likely be passed to his offspring.
I hope you enjoy the party.

Agree

When the date for the party was agreed, did your brother not say that they intended to apply for Glastonbury tickets so a different date would be better?
On the other hand I’m old, so still adhere to the somewhat outdated concept that if you have agreed to do something then you don’t bin it off just because something more interesting comes up.

Glasto tickets are like gold dust literally almost impossible to get I would never give up a ticket sorry... best party venue ever! Amazing! They should have got tickets for the 15 year old too otherwise all else can be rearranged glasto cannot!

Vast majority of kids over the age of 12 want to celebrate their birthday with their mates not their parents. And surely her birthday is going to be overshadowed by her GPs party anyway.
Is the parents party on the day of their anniversary or a convenient weekend? If it is the latter then the brothers family can always celebrate with the parents on a different day, maybe he has plans to take them out for a meal.
And it sounds like the parents only git tickets for themselves the older dc git their own tickets with friends so it was only planned as a trip for brother and his wife.

YANBU at all. I would be angry too. But I would just raise your eyebrows, say nothing and crack on with celebrations as planned.
It will no doubt affect your brother's relationship with your parents and with their own child. It's very selfish. I would say it will have its own fallout that you ideally need to stay right out of.
Take the high road and just behave well yourself. It's the best you can do in the circumstance as.

It seems that this is about a clash of values. You consider this party to be important, they don't.

I don't think either group is in the wrong here really. It's just about different points of view.

I wish we could hear their side of this. I wonder how they feel about their position in the family. Perhaps they don't feel as close to the rest of you? Maybe they feel a bit imposed upon?

So relatives are flying in from the US but your DB and DSIL decided this was the year they had to go to Glastonbury? There's no point saying anything to them OP. They know it's a big anniversary and a big family party. They've deliberately decided they don't want to be there.
I'd be annoyed with them too. They've been incredibly selfish. But, otoh, at least everyone in the family is aware of how little they value family events.

should of never of is so wrong, it's starting to look right

Anyway, you're adding drama with your reaction. They have made their choice, so just go along with it and stop stirring.

There is no way I would pay to listen to bloody Macca and Taylor Swift. You'd have to pay ME to listen to them. Glasto is an over-hyped marketing strategists' dream. It was much better in the old days.

Op, I'd stay out of it, you are not going to change their mind, just concentrate on making your parents 50th wedding anniversary party a cracker.

They might only get tickets to Glastonbury once. Birthdays are ever year. I think YABU

50th wedding anniversaries aren't though.

YANBU OP - v selfish of them to choose this year to try for tickets

I would be really disappointed too if I hade plans for the special party.

I guess people who are saying Glastonbury is more important are those who love festivals, personally I can think of nothing worse .

But there's nothing you can do, just go ahead and make sure you have a wonderful celebration.

Whether they miss their OWN DAUGHTER'S birthday is hardly your concern OP. It really is none of your business. It is only a 15th birthday, not a wedding ffs. As for the 50th, it is a shame but again, not really your problem.

Today 18:08Char1974

You’ve obviously never been to Glastonbury 🤣🤣

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Glasto Gal?