To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

[rosess]

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

Gosh this thread shows how hyped up Glastonbury is. "Tickets are like gold dust" - there are plenty of other big festivals across Europe that are big as well. Plus that many artists do Glastonbury as part of a tour, so plenty will perform at other festivals as well. "Mccartney and Taylor Swift are coming" - these are people that literally perform for a living. You can easily see them at either another festival or buy tickets for one of their other shows. It will probably work out cheaper too.

OP, I agree with you in principle, but it is not your fight to fight. As a silent revenge I would suggest hiring a professional photographer and have them make a beautiful picture of the whole family and give a large framed print of it afterwards for your parents to hang in the living room. That way your brother will be reminded lots what he missed out on.

@MargotMoon That isn’t how it works for glastonbury, you apply for tickets e.g six even if you ‘win’ it doesn’t mean you have been allocated six tickets to buy, it tends to be less. It has improved slightly in recent years due to having to register each person before the ‘draw’, but not many people get all the tickets they registered for.

I have been to the last four glasto’s, I wouldn’t miss it for a party celebrating the fact that a couple had managed not to divorce!

Besides “That way your brother will be reminded lots what he missed out on“

He might just breathe a sigh of relief when he sees that pic. I still groan at all the anniversary pics dotted round my parents house.

It really isn’t that easy to see anyone these days. Taylor isn’t doing any other UK dates I think.

I remember last year one mumsnetter took her DD to see Taylor, didn’t want to go, and came away having loved it so much, she asked about buying resale tickets for an extortionate price, in another town where she’d have to pay transport and hotel.😂

My mum would be devastated if I missed Glastonbury for an anniversary party. But then she'd also be devastated if she wasn't going to Glastonbury

It really isn’t that easy to see anyone these days. Taylor isn’t doing any other UK dates I think.

The world is bigger than the UK and flying isn't that expensive anymore.

Gosh this thread shows how hyped up Glastonbury is

On the flip side, it also shows how hyped up anniversaries and supposed milestones are (zero in number automatically = huge party and summons).
Anniversaries warranted a card back in the day, perhaps a meal out for the couple themselves, and maybe family party after 60 years or so; now it's transatlantic flight and massive parties to which everyone however remotely related to the couple are not just invited but expected to attend.

Taylor Swift is also playing in Belgium, Germany, Norway, France, Denmark, Poland, Spain, Portugal and Hyde Park. People could have tried buying one of those tickets instead if it's her they wanted to see.

Taylor and McCartney - if there was ever a reason to miss a festival then this is it...

Besides there could be many reasons why someone couldn’t or wouldn’t do that.

But I imagine tickets sell out in minutes worldwide, for many artists?

I’m still laughing at your beautiful picture idea tbh. I feel very blessed to have such a tiny family! I can’t imagine dealing with more family pressure.

Xpost Besides Taylor wasn’t announced when people bought Glasto tickets.

@Dangerfloof I recently went to a party hosted by a British Ambassador. It wasn't at her house, and was catered, but she was still the host.

Hosting something doesn't mean it is at your home by any means. It means you're the one issuing the invitations.

There are 100 stages at glasto and over 3000 acts- it’s the biggest performing arts festival in the world- that’s why people go- for the variety- it’s not like going to see an artist at a concert!

Anniversaries warranted a card back in the day, perhaps a meal out for the couple themselves, and maybe family party after 60 years or so; now it's transatlantic flight and massive parties to which everyone however remotely related to the couple are not just invited but expected to attend.

I agree.

The party was organised at a family bbq in August, we all agreed it would be on the actual day of their anniversary. My parents then began telling family who live in America of the dates and they arranged to visit for a week, from the Monday to Monday, Glastonbury starts on the Wednesday and finishes very late Sunday night, so my brothers family will get to see the family one day.

Reason why it was arranged so far in advance is that my niece is traveling next summer, she said she wanted to attend the party so we set a date for her to arrange her travels however, she's no longer attending the party as she's going to Glastonbury. So my brother has known the date of the party since August, tickets went on sale at the beginning of October.

Last night my mum said my brother rang her, explaining that he can't not go to Glastonbury as he's paid for glamping, which is non refundable, and is very expensive. He also said that he'll host a family bbq during the summer holidays to make up for missing the party.

I think they originally chose not to take the 15 year old as it means she'll miss 4 days of school as they want to go for the full duration.

I think I will just help my parents organise their perfect anniversary party and let my brother realise how much he's upsetting our mum. I just hate to see my mum upset.

He’s a twat. Sorry.

You can’t make other people’s decisions for them, so there’s little point in getting upset about it. Chalk it up to experience. That said, they’ve made it very, very clear where their priorities lie and what is important to them and I’d remember that. There’s likely to be a time in the future where “family” is important to them and they will expect you to prioritise that and them. And I wouldn’t put myself out to do so.

Still sounds to me like OP represents the whiny, controlling, guilt-tripping negative aspects of 'family'. I also wouldn't be surprised if the brother's wife is fed up with the pressure as well, and they've both gone, FFS, not another bloody family parade show, let's see if we can get Glasto tickets and then deal with the fallout later.
They are not going to obey you, OP. You have no authority over them. You can either behave like an adult and suck it up, or spoil the party yourself by non-stop whining and sulking, so it becomes all about you.

He was part of the decision to hold the party and knew the date. He can never be trusted in future family decisions as he’s fickle and selfish.

How far are you from Glastonbury? Could he pop back for the party?

If he’d been honest at the start by saying he would be going to Glasto if he could get tickets, it would be different. What sort of parents do what they want on their 15yr old daughter’s birthday and leave her out?

Bloody hell of course OP is NBU. It's a 50 year wedding anniversary and the parents want a big celebration which everyone agreed to well in advance. It's not like a birthday party or a normal wedding anniversary which happens every year. I bet the parents wouldn't have considered fucking off the brother's wedding because they got a once in a lifetime holiday opportunity. I wonder if the brother has happily accepted help from the grandparents with his kids too? Expected them to attend children's birthday parties etc. The one time they ask him to attend a big event he agrees then doesn't stick to it. He's a selfish twat.

The party was organised at a family bbq in August, we all agreed it would be on the actual day of their anniversary.

I originally wondered if he had got tickets before the party was arranged. Now I know he didn’t, I think he should have mentioned the clash sooner. In fact, if Glastonbury was on his bucket list, he should have realised the potential clash when you were choosing the date. The fact he didn’t suggests he does feel a bit guilty. I suspect he forgot your parents’ anniversary when he booked the tickets.

Still sounds to me like OP represents the whiny, controlling, guilt-tripping negative aspects of 'family'.

Completely disagree; this is a one off event and he agreed to attend. Sounds more like you are the kind of person who wants all the positive benefits fro family (babysitting, emotional support, Christmas dinner etc) but balk at the idea of giving them the smallest commitment in return. If they didn't want "another family gathering" (which it isn't it's a 50 bloody year anniversary) they could have behaved like adults and said at the time they weren't sure they could go.

OP did update at 15.30

Well I'd included that in "Opening salvo" but possiby ten minutes is too big a gap to technically constitute a salvo, even on a forum.

Anyways they have now added some updates which I'm sure will be helpful in furthering the discussion.

On the flip side, it also shows how hyped up anniversaries and supposed milestones are (zero in number automatically = huge party and summons).

What a silly comment. Not everyone celebrates milestones but in this case it's clearly an opportunity for the whole family to get together from all over the world. Since it's a 50 year anniversary it's clearly not a commitment that is going to be expected of you very often. The actual event isn't really significant, anniversary/birthday whatever. It's an event which is very important to your family and you agreed to attend. If you can't set aside one day for your family I hope you expect literally nothing of them in return.