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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

483 replies

rosess · 27/12/2019 15:18

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

OP posts:
LovePoppy · 28/12/2019 08:24

Brother is selfish if party was booked first and he knows that his parents would want him there.

Flip side : No more selfish than people wanting to be celebrated for remaining married, and being upset that not everyone wants to go?

RhiWrites · 28/12/2019 08:28

I can see I’m in the minority but I still think it’s shit and selfish to even try to get tickets when they knew the party was planned for that weekend. If Glasto was so important why not say so the second that weekend was first discussed? Then you could have avoided it.

It would never fly in my family and I’m glad of it. I’d go to my in laws anniversary over Glastonbury even.

So much for the famous mumsnet “stick to the commitment you made” line. From now on read that as “unless you really want to do something else”.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2019 08:52

Yep, I’m surprised at so many people imagining they are the brother and saying “Glasto will be so much more fun and memorable than a party to just mark the fact that someone has been married for another year”

So many people looking upon attendance at a party from their own point of view rather than doing it FOR someone else’s pleasure. Let’s face it, most of us turn up at parties (and weddings) for the sake of the person celebrating, unless they’re jUst a casual acquaintance and only being invited to make up numbers. That’s what parties are for, to mark an occasion for that person. Surely people don’t accept or decline an invitation to all parties based on how exciting or fun they’re going to be for themselves? How bloody selfish!

Presumably this anniversary party could well be the last time the parents HAVE a large family get together with all their family members there? They’ll be getting on a bit and may not even be alive for the next one.

It’s a shame so many people don’t think of it that way. All they can say is “oh it’s really hard to get tickets for Glasto, what an achievement to get them” and “let’s face it, which will be more fun?”, and “his parents will be too busy mingling at the party to remember that your brother wasn’t actually there” and “the daughter won’t mind that the rest of her family has gone off without her on her birthday”.

I’m glad I was born into my family and not a lot of families on here as some of them seem bloody selfish and lacking in thought for others.

lilgreen · 28/12/2019 08:57

Well, they don’t sound very nice to have done this without even mentioning that they would be trying to get tickets when the party plans were first mentioned.
Given the notice, I agree that moving the party is the best idea. Otherwise you’ll just be bitter at the party. I agree they sound like selfish arses.

Sushiroller · 28/12/2019 08:59

I think it's shit of them but there not much you can do unfortunately.

birdsarecute45 · 28/12/2019 09:00

I agree with you CurlyhairedAssassin.

lilgreen · 28/12/2019 09:04

Ok just read that the party can’t be changed as air travel from US had been booked. In that case, he’ll have to live with the guilt of putting Glasto tickets ahead of his own daughter’s birthday and his parents’ golden wedding anniversary party. Sounds like a nice bloke.Hmm

whiteroseredrose · 28/12/2019 09:06

I also agree with curlyhairedassassin. This is important to the parents and is obviously a big deal if people are coming from abroad to celebrate.

My DGran used to regularly talk about the (surprise) anniversary party that my uncle threw for her and her DH. And I treasure the family photo from my other DGran's 90th. One of my cousins CBA to come so isn't on it. It was a fabulous weekend so his loss.

C8H10N4O2 · 28/12/2019 09:08

No OP ?

Not since their opening salvo yesterday. 280 posts of froth from one opening salvo, quite an achievement. NC'd for this as well, almost as if they knew.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2019 09:12

Just reading more of the thread. @Dangerfloof’s post tells you all you need to know about how some people think the world revolves around them and their own wants. Apparently the party they went to for in-laws was hell on earth, they hardly knew anyone, had to take the kids early for photos etc etc. All about them. They weren't going to bother with much more than a at home party. Then both discovered cancer diagnoses and decided to party.

Jesus, how very selfish of them! Angry. FFS, what has the world come to when people begrudge going to their spouse’s family party of relatives who wanted to mark the occasion in a bigger way because they had cancer?

My mum didn’t know if she was going to be alive or dead for her big birthday and only booked a big party when she knew she was actually going to be alive and well enough to enjoy it. IMagine if she knew there were people there thinking it was “hell on Earth” to be there.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2019 09:15

Does it even matter if the OP is real or not, @C8H10N4O2? The responses have been a true eye opener in themselves. A true reflection on our society and probably a good indication of the reason for the outcome of certain recent political events.

bohemia14 · 28/12/2019 09:19

@CurlyhairedAssassin I agree. I've been shocked by some of the responses.

Everythingnotsaved · 28/12/2019 09:21

The responses have been a true eye opener in themselves. A true reflection on our society and probably a good indication of the reason for the outcome of certain recent political events

What on earth is that meant to mean @CurlyhairedAssassin? What have politics got to do with this?

Some of the replies on here are so dramatic and over the top!!

C8H10N4O2 · 28/12/2019 09:21

Does it even matter if the OP is real or not

Well it depends on whether or not you think froth making is a good thing or a bad thing for a discussion forum.

I think its a bad thing. I also think troll threads are a bad thing.

I'm aware this is not a majority view.

AutumnRose1 · 28/12/2019 09:23

I’ve been relieved to know that I’m not the only one who finds these sorts of family dos so dull and soul destroying.

RhiWrites · 28/12/2019 09:24

Not since their opening salvo yesterday.

OP did update at 15.30 yesterday to explain that tickets had been booked by relations coming from America. Maybe she hasn’t updated further yet because she’s trying to wrap her head around the number of posters calling her selfish to expect people to attend the party.

birdsarecute45 · 28/12/2019 09:25

I also think the organisers of Glastonbury have pulled an amazing joke on everyone by getting them to think they have somehow won the lottery by doing exactly what the oprganisers wanted by buying tickets.

AutumnRose1 · 28/12/2019 09:27

birds I live in London and I can see that many people do go to the opening of an envelope.

But I don’t think Glastonbury is comparable and I say that as someone who’d never go.

Everythingnotsaved · 28/12/2019 09:31

Just out of interest, how many people on this thread have actually been to Glastonbury?

dottiedodah · 28/12/2019 09:32

I think they are being unfair to their parents and to you .This often happens in families though .One sibling is "there" for their parents ,and one still thinks they are teenagers and can swan off to "do their own thing" while their sibling picks up the pieces !Do not under any circumstances move the party .I see youre upset, but if everyone else goes then they are the ones in the wrong and they should explain to DP what they are thinking of (Themselves presumably)!

lilgreen · 28/12/2019 09:33

I’ve been to Glasto. Why?

birdsarecute45 · 28/12/2019 09:36

No I get it is a big deal Autumn really. And I get that people love it with a mad passion. But I do think the organisers rely on the general public to buy their tickets, yet creating this aura around them as being like gold dust etc is pretty snazzy marketing.

Anyway - I hope anyone who goes has a fabulous time and gets what they want from it and more. As for the OPs actual query - well, I guess she can't make grown adults do what she wants.

Sparklybaublefest · 28/12/2019 09:39

i think you should chalk this up as a family who can't attend.
no hysteria needed.

MargotMoon · 28/12/2019 09:41

The bit I don't get is why the 15yo wasn't bought a ticket at the same time as the other four people? When you get on to the booking screen you can buy tickets for a maximum d 6 people so she should have been included. Poor kid

nettie434 · 28/12/2019 09:52

The bit I don't get is why the 15yo wasn't bought a ticket at the same time as the other four people?

Apparently the parents just bought two tickets for themselves and by coincidence their two adult children were also able to buy ticket separately.

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