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Original poster

DD kicked a child in the face

833 replies

OutlawTorm · 27/12/2019 14:04

Took DD (10) shopping for clothes to spend her Christmas money. She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door. DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door. DD then kicked her in the face. The girl scrambled away, started crying and holding her face. I shouted at DD and asked the girl if she was ok and where was her mum (so I could go and speak to her!) the girl shouted “shut up” at me and ran off. I followed her, out of the changing room, into the main store, followed her until she went up to an adult and started walking over. The woman asked her why she was crying and the girl shouted at her to shut up. I walked over and explained that my DD had kicked her as she kept sticking her head under the door whilst she was getting changed. The woman said “well, now you know not to do that!” ... she apologised to ME and walked off!!!

DD came out of cubicle as if nothing had happened. I said “what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt her” and DD replied “wish I had”.

She is currently under CAHMs for behavioural problems, suspected aspergers, worrying behaviours. DH thinks I’m over reacting as “even the kids mum wasn’t bothered” but I am! It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

OP posts:
happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 15:30

Oh and I once kicked a man in the head in my 20's in a club where I was dancing on a raised platform and he grabbed my skirt and looked up it. Kind of the same thing I suppose.

IncrediblySadToo · 27/12/2019 15:30

YANBU

Some very strange replies.

It’s not acceptable to kick a child (esoecially a younger one) in the face because they’re being rude & annoying...it’s just not.

As the younger child’s mother I’d have probably said similar to the child, but I’d have made it clear to you that I didn’t think it was acceptable.

I’d be pushing for that CAMS assessment! It’s not right and it’s not ‘normal’- it’s worrying.

DrivingMsCrazy · 27/12/2019 15:31

No, what the op needs to do is actually parent when it’s needed. She could have easily protected her vulnerable daughter but chose not to. Easily could have stood in front of the door to stop the girl peering under. She chose not to which is concerning actually.

Yup. This whole situation is YOUR fault OP. You were worse than a limp lettuce in this situation. You tapped her on the shoulder and she ignored you? At that point you place yourself between her and your daughters door or you pull her away and send her out of the changing area for gods sake! How utterly pathetic you were! Defend your child, not the kid spying on her!! Dear Lord, can't believe you actually are more worried for the annoying little spy than your own daughter who you left alone!

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 15:32

There’s a very thin line between raiding ‘gentle’ kids and ‘victims’. She was naked/changing and vulnerable, another person (they’re both children of a similar age category it’s not like she kicked a 3 year old or baby) invaded her personal space.
Children (especially girls) need to be taught from a young age that they have the right to stand up for themselves in certain situations. Changing rooms, toilets...etc if anybody over steps those very personal boundaries you have a right to defend yourself!

If necessary, of course. This wasn’t necessary. The girl could have covered up. Or shouted. Or shoved the girl with her hand. She kicked her in the face. Disproportionate.

eveshopper · 27/12/2019 15:32

Oh and I once kicked a man in the head in my 20's in a club where I was dancing on a raised platform and he grabbed my skirt and looked up it. Kind of the same thing I suppose.

You don't understand the difference in emotional development between a duly grown man and a SIX year old Confused

FoamingAtTheUterus · 27/12/2019 15:32

Your DD made me think of this guy 😂😂😂

www.boredpanda.com/spoiled-kid-refuse-move-legs-metro-hero-stranger-sits/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

MrsScrubbithatescleaning · 27/12/2019 15:35

OP should have stopped the 6yr old peering under the door after the first time she did it. Either by physically blocking her access to the door or escorting from the changing rooms and handing her to a member of staff to deal with.

It’s your DD I feel sorry for, not the 6 year old. Why aren’t you doing more to support your DD?

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 15:35

My point is if I'd thought it through I'd not have done it. This was a reflex action I didn't think about - I just did it. I could have just got down and walked away

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 15:36

@1forAll74 while I agree Witt the sentiment. Let's not rain to much praise on a clearly negligent mother. She's pretty much the worst person in this whole charade.

Justgorgeous · 27/12/2019 15:36

Not your daughter’s fault at all. Where was the mother ? Clearly not bothered !

eveshopper · 27/12/2019 15:40

I’m 27 and would have acted in a similar way had another woman done that to me.

And if it was a six year old?, you know, to keep the comparison the same? Because this was a six year old child not an adult woman.

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 15:44

I would kick a woman 4 years younger than me in the face the first time it happened.

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 15:45

I would kick a woman 4 years younger than me in the face the first time it happened.

So you don’t understand that the difference between two women with an age gap of four years isn’t the same as the difference between two children with an age gap of four years?

eveshopper · 27/12/2019 15:45

I would kick a woman 4 years younger than me in the face the first time it happened.

Delightful. But also missing the point spectacularly.

This is a six year old child. Not a woman 4 years younger than you. A six year old.

TheDarkPassenger · 27/12/2019 15:45

I would have probably acted like the parent did. But also I would be fucking mortified too if my kids used violence. I understand it was a lashing out but I don’t think you’re wrong to reprimand your daughter either. But I guess that’s just me and mine, I don’t like them using violence full stop.

WaterSheep · 27/12/2019 15:47

Delightful. But also missing the point spectacularly.

This is a six year old child. Not a woman 4 years younger than you. A six year old.

But the OPs daughter is also a child and only 4 years older than the girl who was kicked.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 15:47

And a 10 year old. 10.

PanicAndRun · 27/12/2019 15:48

Why are you more worried about a random kid that was totally fine over your own daughter?

Why did you not step in and actually protected your daughter who you know she has problems?

You could tell your daughter was getting more and more upset because of her reactions escalating. Why are you surprised she eventually lashed out?

Did you comfort your daughter? Asked her if she was ok?

Emeraldshamrock · 27/12/2019 15:48

I haven't rtft. IMO two wrongs don't make a right. You should have gave moved the little girl the 2nd time, or blocked her view by standing in her way or signalling staff. My DD also aspergers though extremely gentle, I'd be livid with her and her reaction for kicking this child in the face for any reason..
The situation escalated and should have been dealt with by the adult with the help of shop staff at the start.
Her DM also needs a kick in the face with this reasoning if she let her wander about the shop unsupervised.

PanicAndRun · 27/12/2019 15:50

In an ideal world no child would react violently, would take the high road and resolve conflict in a civilised reasonable manner.

In an ideal world you also wouldn't have a 6 yo running around unattended invading other people's privacy.

Since it wasn't an ideal world,scenario or perfect children involved, shit happened. Get over it.

Luxplus · 27/12/2019 16:04

Seriously its your own fault she kicked her. At what time where you actually going to be a parent to your daughter and help her? I'm surprised you didn't intervene the first time it happened...

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 16:06

I was responding to a poster replying to someone else who had said she would kick another woman, that she needed to keep the comparison the same.

eveshopper · 27/12/2019 16:08

@Sagradafamiliar

That was me. And to keep the comparison the same it means a six year old child, not an adult 4 years younger then you.

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 16:12

It's acceptable in both cases, eves.

Delightful.

Well yes. I'd rather to the kind of person who would kick another for spying on me and provoking me, than the type of person who goes around sticking their heads under changing room curtains. 🤷‍♀️

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 16:13

Rather be*

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