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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD kicked a child in the face

833 replies

OutlawTorm · 27/12/2019 14:04

Took DD (10) shopping for clothes to spend her Christmas money. She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door. DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door. DD then kicked her in the face. The girl scrambled away, started crying and holding her face. I shouted at DD and asked the girl if she was ok and where was her mum (so I could go and speak to her!) the girl shouted “shut up” at me and ran off. I followed her, out of the changing room, into the main store, followed her until she went up to an adult and started walking over. The woman asked her why she was crying and the girl shouted at her to shut up. I walked over and explained that my DD had kicked her as she kept sticking her head under the door whilst she was getting changed. The woman said “well, now you know not to do that!” ... she apologised to ME and walked off!!!

DD came out of cubicle as if nothing had happened. I said “what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt her” and DD replied “wish I had”.

She is currently under CAHMs for behavioural problems, suspected aspergers, worrying behaviours. DH thinks I’m over reacting as “even the kids mum wasn’t bothered” but I am! It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

OP posts:
BlueMoonRising · 28/12/2019 12:17

Me too. But that isn’t what I am suggesting, so

Kind of is. You are saying that once the ten year old is dressed, the immediate problem is dealt with.

I don't think that the immediate problem is that the ten year old isn't fully dressed. She's in a changing room, that's what they are for.

But hey, I guess that's where we differ.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 28/12/2019 12:17

So your commenting on a thread you've not even bothered to read properly?

AngeloMysterioso · 28/12/2019 12:17

She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door.

Why didn’t you stop her?

DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again.

Why didn’t you stop her?

DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again.

Why didn’t you stop her?

DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door.

Why didn’t you stop her?

It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

To being annoyed, no. To a stranger repeatedly looking under your changing cubicle door when you’re in a state of undress, absolutely. It’s a valuable defensive instinct.

BlueMoonRising · 28/12/2019 12:18

I didn’t. I replied to the comment about the nightclub. I can see how you must feel a bit silly

Not as silly as you look, saying you didn't respond to a message referencing the cinema. That's why the nightclub message exists. RTFT.

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:19

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal

I’ve read about 20-odd pages of it. But it was your comment I replied to, and I believe I got the sense of it right so...

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:19

BlueMoonRising

That doesn’t matter. I replied to the content of that comment. The cinema comment isn’t relevant to what I had to say about it.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 28/12/2019 12:20

And you were wrong so maybe pay a bit more attention next time.

BlueMoonRising · 28/12/2019 12:20

But it was your comment I replied to, and I believe I got the sense of it right so

But you don't know what it was about, so...

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:20

Kind of is. You are saying that once the ten year old is dressed, the immediate problem is dealt with.

No, it unequivocally isn’t. Self-defence using force is an option available to you when no other option is present.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 28/12/2019 12:20

Well she could have broken her nose and you could have done more to stop the girl from sticking her head under the door repeatedly.

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:20

BlueMoonRising

I don’t need to know. I know what that poster said and I replied to it. Hmm

BlueMoonRising · 28/12/2019 12:21

I'm sorry, but context is always important.

You sound like a journalist, using a quote out of place to make it sound like something it isn't.

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:21

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal

No, I don’t think so. You think this situation bears a sensible comparison to the nightclub situation you described. I think that’s out there.

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:22

BlueMoonRising

I don’t think so. I think I understand exactly what Merry said.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 28/12/2019 12:23

I was saying that the cinema comparison is ridiculous as there was not a single connected similarity. So I created an adult scenario that was more comparable. And it was.

BlueMoonRising · 28/12/2019 12:24

You understood content. Not context.

Are you really oblivious to why that's important?

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:25

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimalI

It’s not sensibly comparable. It’s a ridiculously overblown comparison that to me (along with your many other comments) shows me that you don’t understand how to make sensible distinctions between situations.

Lizzie0869 · 28/12/2019 12:25

@@Branleuse yes you're right about the reason the age of criminality was reduced to 10, and of course it isn't likely that the police were involved. But it would cross my mind if my DD1 kicked a younger child in the face, however under it might have been. She could easily have broken the other child's nose.

I do nevertheless think that this wouldn't have happened if the adults had intervened, so they're the ones to blame. Especially the 6 year old's mum.

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:26

BlueMoonRising

Like I said. In this case I don’t think the context changes the meaning, and therefore think my response is fine, or I wouldn’t have said it to begin with.

BlueMoonRising · 28/12/2019 12:29

My comprehension skills may be lacking, because I don't see ANYWHERE that you say the context doesn't change the meaning. Only that you don't know what the context is.

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:31

BlueMoonRising

No, I do know what context is. I am saying - although I accept you disagree - that I don’t believe it was needed for me to make a sensible reply to Merry. And so that’s what I did.

BlueMoonRising · 28/12/2019 12:34

I didn't say you don't know what context is. I said you said that you don't know what the context is. There's a very important difference. And you did categorically say you hadn't read the message that Merry was replying to.

But I would be interested to see where you said you don't think the context changes things, because I can't see it.

Branleuse · 28/12/2019 12:35

Yes, its very lucky the 6 year old didnt end up with a broken nose or black eye. Sounds like the 10 year old was quite restrained really and probably barefoot.
Still doesnt mean the 10 year old should be punished. This little 6yr old girl is very lucky she didnt do this to my daughter, although if I was around it wouldnt have got this far, and I would be the one in trouble for physically removing a child that wasnt mine by force, which im sure some people would have issue with too.

churchandstate · 28/12/2019 12:37

BlueMoonRising

What I meant by “like I said” was, “It’s like I said.” As in, I believe I understood Merry perfectly well. In other words, I don’t think the context of what she said would change the meaning, because the meaning was very clear.

Grafittiqueen · 28/12/2019 12:38

I'd have reacted in the same way as the Mum of the 6 year old. My DD is 10 and as her body changes she has become very body conscious and private and someone looking under the door of the changing room would have been incredibly distressing for her.

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