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Original poster

DD kicked a child in the face

833 replies

OutlawTorm · 27/12/2019 14:04

Took DD (10) shopping for clothes to spend her Christmas money. She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door. DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door. DD then kicked her in the face. The girl scrambled away, started crying and holding her face. I shouted at DD and asked the girl if she was ok and where was her mum (so I could go and speak to her!) the girl shouted “shut up” at me and ran off. I followed her, out of the changing room, into the main store, followed her until she went up to an adult and started walking over. The woman asked her why she was crying and the girl shouted at her to shut up. I walked over and explained that my DD had kicked her as she kept sticking her head under the door whilst she was getting changed. The woman said “well, now you know not to do that!” ... she apologised to ME and walked off!!!

DD came out of cubicle as if nothing had happened. I said “what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt her” and DD replied “wish I had”.

She is currently under CAHMs for behavioural problems, suspected aspergers, worrying behaviours. DH thinks I’m over reacting as “even the kids mum wasn’t bothered” but I am! It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

OP posts:
Tigger001 · 27/12/2019 22:38

@panicandrun. How heartbreaking that must be, kids can be so cruel. And that is exactly the situation where them kids should have been kicked in the face, little bullies.

Their parents should be ashamed of bringing up such horrible, violent children.

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 22:39

Why do we teach kids the PANTS rule if being seen in your underwear is no big deal?

Icanflyhigh · 27/12/2019 22:41

In all honesty I'd have kicked the little shit in the face too! Changing rooms are private.

PanicAndRun · 27/12/2019 22:42

Bully,vile,cruel,shit, needs anger management.

Ffs we're talking about a 10 yo girl here. A 10 yo that is under CAMHS, a child with behavioural difficulties. A child with possible SEN.

A child that despite all that, when trapped and threatened she gave warnings, she asked the other child to stop. She tried to be reasonable and assertive . We don't even know if she knew that she was 6.

She listened to her mother being ignored in her pleas as well.

Only then did she lash out, and for the unpteen time, how much of a kick could've been in a changing room at floor level through a small gap?

How much of a kick could've been for there to be no marks or damage?

How much of a kick could've been for the child's mum to be completely unconcerned?

She probably just gave her a shove and the 6 yo kicked off from the shock and because she was "shown" No.

A bunch of grown ass women patting themselves on the back for how much better they would've behaved and reacted in a similar situation.

It's not the 10 yo that's a bully.

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 22:47

Witches I take it you don't bother with changing rooms then? You just strip off in the middle of the shop as people see the same amount of flesh on display as when you wear swimwear at the beach?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 27/12/2019 22:48

Not wanting people to see you in your underwear makes you a snowflake?

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 22:51

To those who condone violence on this thread - if you have DCs and one of them was tormenting the other with the one being tormented kicking her sibling in the face, would you shrug your shoulders whilst picking their teeth up off the floor, telling them they got what they deserved? If that’s the case, it’s very worrying to think this sort of parenting is happening.

If I was next to the incident and didn't stop the 6yo tormenting the 10yo and they lashed out, I would be bearing a lot of the blame for that incident. I am bigger than the 6yo so could create physical distance between the two so the older one isn't cornered and can get away if I can't get the 6yo to move away.

The mums bear a lot of the responsibility for the 6yo's nosebleed. It wouldn't have happened if they were doing their jobs.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 27/12/2019 22:51

Oh aye, this new woke "privacy" thing is just something snowflake millennials made up on the twitter.

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 22:51

Other girls at school will see your DD get changed for PE anyway, what the hell is the difference?

It’s quite clear what the difference is.

WitchesGlove · 27/12/2019 22:53

Dorito- the pants rule refers to touching and refers to adults doesn’t it? It doesn’t say that it’s wrong for a child to see you in your underwear?

All of the posters that think it’s so terrible- do your daughters never wear bikinis and do they swim in a full modesty suit?

Are you saying all school changing rooms have individual changing rooms for every single kid??? Just in case a child of the same gender sees them in their bra and pants?

Xmasbaby11 · 27/12/2019 22:53

Op you should have intervened, opened the door and actually removed the child when you could see it was escalating. The other mother of course shouldn't have left the child wander around. In think it's an un fortunate situation of all parties making a mistake.

I'm not sure if I'd punish your dd as she clearly has issues and was in a difficult situation - use it as a learning experience to talk through other options as to how else she could react in a similar situation.

I haven't rtft so sorry if I've misunderstood it.

Livelovebehappy · 27/12/2019 22:54

A child under CAMHS should have been more closely supervised by OP, ie presumably OP knew how her dd would react and should have been able to nip it in the bud before letting it escalate as it did. You can’t use behavioural issues to excuse violent behaviour. And what if the 6yr old had been a 3 year old? Still deserving of a kick in the face?

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 22:54

Excusing this based on some adults being arseholes doesn't really work. Try again?

That’s not what I did..

WitchesGlove · 27/12/2019 22:55

Sagrada- I do ‘bother with’ changing rooms.

But at the gym and pool they are open plan- and no, I’m not going to have a heart attack if another woman/girl sees my underwear!

billy1966 · 27/12/2019 22:55

@PanicAndRun
👍

The other childs mother was very reasonable in her response.

OP needs to focus on her child that was asking repeatedly for her privacy to be respected.

I think the OP's child's response was measured under the circumstances.

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 22:56

Schools don't have cubicles but kids are told not to stare at people changing.

PanicAndRun · 27/12/2019 22:56

Dorito- the pants rule refers to touching and refers to adults doesn’t it?

No it doesn't adults,children,strangers,family.

Peer on peer abuse is a thing.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 27/12/2019 22:57

Witches, are you at all aware of the concepts of consent and choice?

Can you not see the difference in your ridiculous comparisons?

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 22:58

@WitchesGlove it absolutely does not only refer to adults. It's inclusive of absolutely everyone.

WitchesGlove · 27/12/2019 22:58

MerryChristmas- You better buy your kids full modesty suits just in case someone invades their ‘privacy’ by looking at them!

They’re going to have a lot of body issues being raised by you!

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 23:00

Witches- is that because you're an adult?

I don't care at age 42 but when I was a young teen I was definitely changing for PE in a way that minimized the amount of flesh showing. I would not want someone else to see me in my bra.

WitchesGlove · 27/12/2019 23:00

Can someone tell me then, why it’s okay to let a child wear a bikini and this doesn’t go against the ‘pants’ rule? Hmm

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 23:01

@WitchesGlove 😂😂😂

No love. My children are free to create what boundaries they please. They know where they are allowed to change (because public nudity is not allowed) and they damn well know that nobody is allowed to invade them or see them in a state they are uncomfortable with.

I hope you don't have children. You have some seriously dangerous thoughts.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 23:01

Please please tell me you don't think the pants rule just talks about...actual pants.

PanicAndRun · 27/12/2019 23:03

Well DD doesn't wear bikinis. She's mostly in short/tshirt type things and now that she does swimming in a one piece.

According to your logic privacy is not needed,the pants rule is not needed, NSPCC are probably useless and let the pieces fall where they may. As long as they wear a bikini they have no right for privacy.