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Original poster

DD kicked a child in the face

833 replies

OutlawTorm · 27/12/2019 14:04

Took DD (10) shopping for clothes to spend her Christmas money. She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door. DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door. DD then kicked her in the face. The girl scrambled away, started crying and holding her face. I shouted at DD and asked the girl if she was ok and where was her mum (so I could go and speak to her!) the girl shouted “shut up” at me and ran off. I followed her, out of the changing room, into the main store, followed her until she went up to an adult and started walking over. The woman asked her why she was crying and the girl shouted at her to shut up. I walked over and explained that my DD had kicked her as she kept sticking her head under the door whilst she was getting changed. The woman said “well, now you know not to do that!” ... she apologised to ME and walked off!!!

DD came out of cubicle as if nothing had happened. I said “what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt her” and DD replied “wish I had”.

She is currently under CAHMs for behavioural problems, suspected aspergers, worrying behaviours. DH thinks I’m over reacting as “even the kids mum wasn’t bothered” but I am! It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

OP posts:
eveshopper · 27/12/2019 20:07

Oh she was also accused of violating the 10 year old and of perving on her.

dontcallmeduck · 27/12/2019 20:08

I’d be unhappy if my child kicked a child in the face but it does sound like the girl had enough warnings so I wouldn’t be mad for long.

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 20:15

And all the comments about It’s the face kicking that is the issue.*

If 10yo suddenly lunged forward as if she was going to crash into 6yo and 6yo flinched and banged her nose would that be ok?

PumpkinP · 27/12/2019 20:21

I wouldn’t have told mine off if they did that. I would be thinking good on them!

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2019 20:24

The girl is 10, of course she should be taught it's wrong to kick someone in the face, she was not being threatened or in any danger. You teach them how to behave in different situations, gauge the situation and the force/reaction needed to deal with it,

All the situations being listed here are not similar to what happened in the OP, yes if she is being dragged to floor, she kicks them in the face, if someone is threatening her safety, she fights back however she needs to, including kicking them in the face.

If (what looked like ) a 6 year old girl was looking under the door, while her mother was outside, she does not kick her in the face. It is just not how you bring up a well balanced, compassionate and decent human being.

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 20:24

We really try to educate them that it isn't but from some of the responses on this thread I can see how they feel this way. Annoying child? Just hit/kick them if they don't listen.

What are you on about? Show me a post that says any time a child is annoying another child the appropriate response is to kick or hit them. Because as far as I can see, no one has said that.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 20:27

@Bourbonbiccy who are you to say this child didn't feel threatened? She had zero support. She was in an enclosed space and her repeated clear requests for her boundaries to be respected were ignored.

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2019 20:30

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal I never said how she felt, I said if her safety was being threatened, it wasn't, A (possible ) 6 year old was looking under the door with her own mother outside the door. There was no threat, and it's ridiculous to insinuate otherwise, the kid was 6.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 20:35

Her safety includes her MH. It could be seriously traumatic to be in such a vulnerable position alone and unsupported.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 20:35

And the child is 10.

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 20:36

Does the 10yo's possible Aspergers count for anything? Anxiety is often coupled with diagnoses like ASD. I think many kids would feel threatened if their most trusted adult in the world couldn't get the girl to move away after so long.

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2019 20:38

@MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal yes the child in the cubicle is 10 with her mother outside talking to the (possible) 6 year old. The 10 year old was not alone her mother was outside the cubicle, the 10 year old she lost her temper and lashed out at a (possible) 6 year old girl.

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 20:39

The 10yo might have only seen the face and not known how small the other girl was. (Obviously not a toddler but a 6yo could look like she was similar in age facially)

yellowallpaper · 27/12/2019 20:43

Agree that the other child was being an absolute pain and it may have taught her a lesson. She wasn't seriously injured so I'd let that side of it go. DD seems to have been pretty restrained in her response for most of it, and I think many children would have acted the same tbh

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 20:44

Her useless mother? Who couldn't stop a 6 year old from violating her daughters privacy after repeated requests from her daughter.

yellowallpaper · 27/12/2019 20:47

Personally I would have taken the child by the shoulder and physically removed he back to the care of her mother.

Isitweekendyet · 27/12/2019 20:47

You should have immediately removed the child the first time she stuck her head under the cubicle. You know your daughter has behavioural problems and additional needs and you let the child harass her in an extremely vulnerable environment.

No damage was done, let it go, move on but next time be more proactive.

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2019 20:48

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal, yes, that mother.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 20:49

Then I still count the 10 year old as alone in defending her privacy.

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 20:50

Bourbonbiccy Nope, no reason for the ten year old to feel worried at all. Since her mum was being such a good support by doing.. well, she didn’t actually do anything did she? She allowed it to escalate and then had a go at her daughter then left her daughter alone to go and chase after a kid that isn’t hers and then came back and shouted at her daughter again. Tell me why the daughter should have been satisfied with her mum doing nothing to help her?

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2019 20:52

The child has behavioural problems and suspected Asperger, so yes I would reinforce that is not normal behaviour or reaction, as if it comes back that it is in fact not Aspergers, the child needs a fighting chance of what's reasonable and acceptable.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 27/12/2019 20:52

I don't think it's a big deal. She asked nicely, she asked with more force, the kid obviously couldn't give a shit..no serious damage done.

If you don't want a kick in the face, don't stick it in places it shouldn't be in.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 20:53

But I would tell my NT child that they were right. I would understand even more if a SN child did it.

If you feel threatened and have taken reasonable measures to calmly defuse the situation you are allowed to escalate it to protect yourself.

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2019 20:54

Aargh I'm not saying her child should be satisfied but it's not acceptable to kick a child in the face in this situation.

Obviously very different options on what acceptable behaviour for a 10 year old.

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2019 20:56

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal we don't know either child is SN, one is suspected and the other Unknown.

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