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Original poster

DD kicked a child in the face

833 replies

OutlawTorm · 27/12/2019 14:04

Took DD (10) shopping for clothes to spend her Christmas money. She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door. DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door. DD then kicked her in the face. The girl scrambled away, started crying and holding her face. I shouted at DD and asked the girl if she was ok and where was her mum (so I could go and speak to her!) the girl shouted “shut up” at me and ran off. I followed her, out of the changing room, into the main store, followed her until she went up to an adult and started walking over. The woman asked her why she was crying and the girl shouted at her to shut up. I walked over and explained that my DD had kicked her as she kept sticking her head under the door whilst she was getting changed. The woman said “well, now you know not to do that!” ... she apologised to ME and walked off!!!

DD came out of cubicle as if nothing had happened. I said “what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt her” and DD replied “wish I had”.

She is currently under CAHMs for behavioural problems, suspected aspergers, worrying behaviours. DH thinks I’m over reacting as “even the kids mum wasn’t bothered” but I am! It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

OP posts:
HomeMadeMadness · 27/12/2019 18:27

@MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal Don't be so nasty - what's the point of your comment you've offered no helpful advice just tried to make OP feel bad. I bet you wouldn't act like such a bitch in real life. OP wouldn't be here if she didn't care maybe she didn't react perfectly but she didn't behave terribly - most 6 year olds would have stopped when asked and she looked around for the kid's mum which was sensible. How the hell do you think getting a shop assistant would have helped - much too late by then. My 10 year old wouldn't give a toss about being seen by a 6 year old child because it wouldn't have been intimidating and she usually changes in a communal area anyway. Maybe OP didn't realise her DD would be so upset.

Longdistance · 27/12/2019 18:29

It’s all about privacy. Your dd didn’t feel her privacy was being respected. Good on her for giving the brat girl a good kick. Her dm agreed too.
You’re the one making a bigger issue of this.

OnceFreshFish · 27/12/2019 18:31

@MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal I agree with PP what a stupid, unpleasant thing to say. Because OP didn't know how to deal with a feral 6 year old she's not a caring mother. Get a grip! A year old peering under the door is bloody irritating but it's not threatening for most NT kids or adults - it's not like a fully grown man was doing it. Clearly it was not managable for OP's DD and it's a lesson learned that she may need help with those type of situations. What if it had been a toddler and she'd broken her nose? Violence isn't appropriate but it sounds like the DD's fuse had run out.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 18:34

The OP is here because she cares more about the 6 year old and believes that her DD was wrong.
The two mothers in this story have behaved abysmally.
I pity all the children involved.

Thetruthwillout80 · 27/12/2019 18:36

Do you have it in for your daughter?

Emeraldshamrock · 27/12/2019 18:38

Let it go. The kids mum is right
Now I would have said the kids DM was an irresponsible twat not teaching her DC about boundaries let her roam free and then agreeing said child got what she deserved. Kids are basic animals until parents provide the life skills
She is lucky her little girl didn't find herself looking under a paedophiles changing door. I'd have told the stupid mother this.

ALLMYSmellySocks · 27/12/2019 18:38

The OP is here because she cares more about the 6 year old and believes that her DD was wrong.

Don't be ridiculous. She cares that her DD has such a short fuse that she kicks a 6 year old in the head. That's very obviously not OK even when the kid is behaving badly. I would be worried if my child hit or kicked a much younger child. The kid looking under was probably annoying but DD wasn't acting in self defence - she wasn't threatened, she was annoyed.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 18:39

But it wasn't a short fuse.
Her DD tried repeatedly to verbally stop this child.

This happened because of two lots of ineffective parents.

Emeraldshamrock · 27/12/2019 18:41

Do you have it in for your daughter?
This thread is getting funnier.
I am sure OP was unsure how to react it I'd hardly having it in girls a 10 year old.
If said DC nose was broke OPs DD could have been arrested for assault at 10.
I'd follow the child to check she was not seriously harmed too.

UserName31456789 · 27/12/2019 18:41

@MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal

Are you daft? DD should have covered herself up opened the door and complained about annoying kid. If you teach your 10 year old it's OK to kick a younger kid in the head because they're annoying you you're a moronic idiot.

MomOfABeast · 27/12/2019 18:43

OP's probably hidden this thread long ago. Totally stupid MN pile in. Nobody trying to be helpful, just nasty, bullying responses. Of course kicking a young child wasn't OK. What line do you draw what if you're getting annoyed by a badly behaved toddler can you punch them in the face?

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 18:43

I absolutely and unequivocally believe that the 10 year old did the right thing in the position that she was forced into.

It's the adults I think screwed up.

Jumpjumpjumper · 27/12/2019 18:46

Didn't RTFT (got about halfway!).

My five year old is huge. She's as tall as a 9/10 year old (not exaggerating, I checked her red book recently!). She's also heavy. She knows perfectly well how to behave (not saying she actually does behave. But she knows what's right and wrong!)

My eldest (9) would have felt vulnerable and panicked. So she may have lashed out as OP's daughter did.

I would have had a similar response to the other mum.

Mummadeeze · 27/12/2019 18:48

I would have been very upset with my DD if she had kicked a little child in the face so you have my massive sympathies OP. I can’t believe so many people are saying it was okay. The young child probably thought she was playing a game or being funny. And she should have been being supervised by her own parent. But no matter how annoying she was, your DD should not have resorted to violence and that would worry me that she even had it in her to do that.

Jumpjumpjumper · 27/12/2019 18:48

Sorry, relevance about the size of the child: not all six year olds are tiny little dots. So it's not as if it's a toddler. A six year old might be quite robust!

hellcarryingahandbag · 27/12/2019 18:49

Oh for fuck’s sake, you should have been a mother and supported your daughter. She was quite right in kicking the little shit!

PanicAndRun · 27/12/2019 18:50

A short fuse would've been kicking the child the first time.
Bursting out of the cubicle to make a scene.
Shouting,screaming and swearing.

She tried to do the rational,reasonable,sensible thing . She heard her mother being completely ineffectual at dealing with the child.

There's an assumption the girl knew the other child was 6, might've not been so obvious.

There's also an assumption that she gave her a proper roundhouse kick, when given the size of the cubicles, the position of the other child and the lack of any injuries make it more likely to have just been a shove with her foot.

But OP was determined to make her DD sound like the baddie in the story. Callous, unsympathetic and happily hitting small children all over the place.

PanicAndRun · 27/12/2019 18:53

DD should have covered herself up opened the door and complained about annoying kid.

That's what you should and would have done as a grown ass woman!! A 10 yo vulnerable girl with possible SEN and difficulties? She might react in a different way.

lilgreen · 27/12/2019 18:54

So when there is a post about smacking children there is an outcry but it’s totally ok to kick a child half your age in the face. Hmm

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 18:55

When an adult strikes a child out of anger. No.

When a vulnerable child is feeling violated and trying to protect their dignity. Yes.

user27495824 · 27/12/2019 18:58

I think other posters are being too lenient towards your dd. My dd12 who has a diagnosis of mild autism and ADHD could well have done the same thing, she has lashed out at strangers a handful of times. I wouldn't 'be more on her side' though as others have said, I would have explained with a lot of impatience that she can't round kicking little kids in the face and she should have removed herself from the situation by leaving the cubicle!

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 18:59

HomeMadeMadness

I don’t buy that, it’s not a common situation you’re right however, it’s very easy to sort. Stand in front of the door and block the child from looking under them stand there firm.

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 19:02

HomeMadeMadness

Oh, so all our children feel the same about everything? It was obviously distressing to ops daughter so the fact it wouldn’t be to yours isn’t relevant.

PanicAndRun · 27/12/2019 19:02

that she can't round kicking little kids in the face and she should have removed herself from the situation by leaving the cubicle!

That's why I said the tone of OP and her words making her DD sound like a baddie.

Can you really round kick someone in a cubicle sized room at floor level?

lilgreen · 27/12/2019 19:03

She kicked out of anger and frustration..... a child’s face ffs!!!!

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