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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD kicked a child in the face

833 replies

OutlawTorm · 27/12/2019 14:04

Took DD (10) shopping for clothes to spend her Christmas money. She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door. DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door. DD then kicked her in the face. The girl scrambled away, started crying and holding her face. I shouted at DD and asked the girl if she was ok and where was her mum (so I could go and speak to her!) the girl shouted “shut up” at me and ran off. I followed her, out of the changing room, into the main store, followed her until she went up to an adult and started walking over. The woman asked her why she was crying and the girl shouted at her to shut up. I walked over and explained that my DD had kicked her as she kept sticking her head under the door whilst she was getting changed. The woman said “well, now you know not to do that!” ... she apologised to ME and walked off!!!

DD came out of cubicle as if nothing had happened. I said “what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt her” and DD replied “wish I had”.

She is currently under CAHMs for behavioural problems, suspected aspergers, worrying behaviours. DH thinks I’m over reacting as “even the kids mum wasn’t bothered” but I am! It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

OP posts:

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 17:08

Church you would really expect an adult victim of voyeurism to stand by until the attack was over and then call the police? And that giving a swift boot in the head to the criminal would be wrong? Blimey.

WaterSheep · 27/12/2019 17:09

Some people are saying exactly that.

Where has someone said this? All i've seen it posters saying they can understand why the 10 year old reacted the way they did, due to the repeated requests to stop which were ignored and the behaviour of the 6 year old.

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 17:11

Sagradafamiliar

I’m just going by the law.

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 17:11

WaterSheep

Just read the replies, you’ll see for yourself.

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 17:11

You are over reacting the girl had loads of warnings. The other mum was right to think that her dd has learned a valuable lesson.

The average 6yo at school knows that it is far from ok to do that. Hopefully she'll think twice next time.

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 17:12

Why? Church. I work in criminal justice myself, I think you're going to ridiculous lengths to try and be 'in the right'.

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 17:13

YappityYapYap

No, it’s not. You sound like a nasty bully who thinks use of force is acceptable.

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 17:13

Sagradafamiliar

It’s not ‘ridiculous lengths’. If the child had lost an eye the OP’s DD would be in a lot of trouble.

WaterSheep · 27/12/2019 17:14

Just read the replies, you’ll see for yourself.

I've read them, and I can't recall seeing one where a poster has said it's ok for a 10 year old to kick a 6 year old for no reason

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 17:14

WaterSheep

I didn’t say they said for no reason.

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 17:15

OP's child didn't mercilessly kick anyone's head in wearing steel toe caps just for the shits and giggles. You are really reaching Church.

Speckledhen10 · 27/12/2019 17:15

Well done to your DD. She’s probably taught the little feral kid more than she’ll ever learn off her parents.

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 17:16

Sagradafamiliar

I’m not reaching. The OP said the ten year old kicked the six year old in the face.
The consequences could have been serious, and she’s lucky they weren’t.

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 17:16

Tbh I think you should have done more )it's easier for you as you're not the one trapped behind the cubicle. For example you could have blocked the gap with your body or bags or been firmer- "rude" is a very wishy washy term.

doritosdip · 27/12/2019 17:19

If this happened at school there’d be very different replies.

Peeking at someone in a cubicle like a toilet is taken very seriously at school. Plus if other kids saw this, they'd more likely step in or get an adult involved who'd do more than say it was rude.

lilgreen · 27/12/2019 17:21

But the child would be punished for kicking the other much younger child in the face. I totally agree the younger child sounds like a brat but can’t ever be right to resort to such a brutal response .

Pjsandbaileys · 27/12/2019 17:21

Have to say given on this occasion nobody was hurt I'm with the other mum and DD sorry. Maybe have a chat with your daughter about a physical reaction with another child especially a younger one can have consequences but do let her know that she was right to protect her own privacy/body let her know other ways to deal with situations like that. I'm saying that is it were me and another adult woman was doing that to me the results may have been the same 🤪

lilgreen · 27/12/2019 17:23

Op you should definitely have stepped in earlier to remove the child, alert staff to an unaccompanied child.

WaterSheep · 27/12/2019 17:23

I didn’t say they said for no reason.

So posters are saying they agree with the 10 year olds actions given the circumstances. That's very different from them saying they unquestioningly think it's ok for a 10yo to physically assault a 6yo.

lilgreen · 27/12/2019 17:23

Somebody WAS hurt!

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 17:23

If this happened in school. I'd be very concerned over my child being perved on. Their lack of safe guarding and if they tried to punish her for defending her privacy I would be informing them politely but very firmly that they would not be attending any detentions etc. And any school with such victim blaming would quickly become a school I would not want my child to attend.

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 17:23

I'm saying that is it were me and another adult woman was doing that to me the results may have been the same 🤪

And you might then be defending yourself against a charge of assault.

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 17:24

churchandstate The adult caring for her wasn’t doing anything to stop the younger child, there is nothing else the ten year old could have done to make the six year old leave her alone right then and there. She had nowhere she could even hide or run to.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 17:24

You do know that looking under the door of a changing room is assault.

Nobody would arrest someone for defending their privacy. It would never make it past the CPS.

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 17:26

Nobody would arrest someone for defending their privacy. It would never make it past the CPS.

Can’t agree with you there.

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