To not want my child around him?

[ukatykikapenej]

I've namechanged incase some of my partners family recognise me by reading my other posts.

I've been friends with my partner since we were about 9/10. And we've been in a relationship for almost 3.5 years. When we were children he always said how he thinks his dad Hated him because he was saying things about him (he never said what though) so he spent a lot of time around my house (no idea why I didn't tell anyone). Anyway today we went to see his dad's family. His dad drank a bit so he was a bit drunk. He was asking his wife (not partners mum) give him another bottle she said no and then he started shouting that he wanted one. Then his wife asked him if he wanted tl do that in front of his son (partner) and his dad said he can handle it and then he said actually he can't. Partner didn't answer him and then his dad hit him around the face and he's now got a bruise.

We are going to ttc in February/March so would I be unreasonable to not want my child near him? Advice would be appreciated.

Keep using birth control. This family is a toxic mess and you and your child will suffer.

Hopefully there will be no child!

Come on, ukaty, you're surely worth more than this man and his family. They sound really toxic but you can extricate yourself from the relationship. I can't help feeling you will be unhappy if you stay with your man much longer and Heaven help you if you become pregnant.

Have you told your parents what happened and, if so, what do they say? I'd quite understand if you haven't told them, your partner probably considers it his business but you are involved too, you were there when his dad hit him and know what the family is like.

It's very hard when you love someone but you're actually not helping your partner by going along with it. He needs to man up and not allow himself to be manipulated. Thing is, will he change? Give him an ultimatum.

Oh ffs OP. He's an adult - nobody can force him to see his family. The point is he clearly still wants a relationship with his dad and if you stay with him you're going to have to have a relationship with his dad too.

You're also willingly letting a newborn baby move in with an abusive man. He can't control his temper around adults. How will he react to a screaming baby?

I take back what I said about your age being irrelevant because you're clearly incredibly immature. Don't have a child. Don't even consider it. You're unwilling to protect someone else's baby so why would you protect your own?