Ending a relationship because of my snoring

[Sally99]

I slept in the spare room last night so that my partner could have a decent night's sleep away from my snoring. Christmas Eve I'd kept waking up to him almost begging "darling, please".

It's gradually ruining our relationship as we can no longer laugh about it. Snoring makes me feel unfeminine and unattractive. He doesn't seem to realise that it's involuntary - I can't control what I do when asleep other than trying to stay awake all night.

Sleeping in the spare room was the ultimate humiliation. Then this morning he said that he still heard me through the wall.

I love this man but I feel so alone with my problem and so embarrassed.

I'm 57 and not overweight or a smoker.

What snoring aids have you tried?

Have you seen your doctor?.

You should go to see your GP to see if there's any medical reason for it.

Have you always snored?

I've tried different pillows. I sleep on my side or tummy, never on my back.

I've tried nasal sprays.

I'm married to a snorer. I would never leave him over it. But I do really appreciate it when he volunteers to sleep on the couch so I get a decent night's sleep. (I would sleep on the couch but toddler still joins us in the night and asks for me).

You need to see your gp. Heavy snoring can be very dangerous and effect your heart. You may have sleep apnea.

Mmm I feel for you both. Definitely go see a doctor. If it's this bad there is something a sleep clinic will be able to do it's just waiting to get it sorted and finding out what

Go and see a doctor
My DP snores and it is a major strain at times.

I am the snorer, i sleep in a different room to my husband, he can hear me through the wall too 😂
I have tried everything, i will go to the dr soon but i am pregnant so i doubt they can do anything at the moment. I do want to sleep with my husband but i also like my own space.

We are perfectly happy though, try not to be humiliated

It’s tough for you, but don’t underestimate how bad it is for him.
My husband snores. It seriously fucks with my sleep - and it’s also one of the most annoying sounds I know. Also I can sleep in a house where I hear lots of traffic noise for example - but you can get used to it. The problem with snoring is that you get sudden bursts of loud noise that wake you - there’s no continual hum like traffic.
I really really try to avoid sleeping in another room, but there have been nights when I’ve almost been in tears through tiredness and irritation.

Do you drink?
My husband is MUCH worse after drinking.

Tbh, if all you’ve tried is pillows, that doesn’t seem like much.

It’s not unfeminine at all. It’s also not unattractive - except in actual moment of snoring. I don’t fancy my husband any less because of it.

But I do think you should be more pro-active than just changing pillows.

You need to see your GP and get a referral. If there’s no cause/treatment that works then you should seriously consider sleeping separately (and possibly investing in a white noise machine for your DH). It’s not indicative of failing at anything it’s just being considerate of your husbands need for sleep.

Whilst I sympathise with you it’s your DH who is losing out on sleep here and probably chronically exhausted.

@cookielove do you snore when not pregnant?

Get some doctor advice and don’t feel he is totally nasty. Do you have children? Do you remember being exhausted day after day when they were waking up through the night? It is the same for him the only problem is that this is not something you would grow out of eventually, so please try to do something about it.

Go to the doctors. My mom snores like a pig. She has sleep apnoea and now has to sleep with a machine.

chinstrap?

He sounds quite insensitive to be honest.

I totally sympathise with my partner which is why i slept in the spare room last night.

Well my husbands snoring absolutely breaks me. I can hear it through the walls and its very neatly split us

We happily sleep separate now

I snore badly due to my soft palette. Nothing to do with weight or snoring for me.
I sit up more to sleep and my DH wears ear plugs and now it’s no longer an issue. Try a slightly seated position in bed and the plugs

My DH went to the Dr with snoring last year. I wasn't getting any sleep. We were both exhausted. Severe sleep apnea... He was stopping breathing multiple times every hour. Also discovered his thyroid wasn't working.

My husband is the snorer , he had his tonsils removed and some flabby skin at the back of his nose but still does it - we have separate rooms and I wear industrial strength earplugs if we need to share

@buttonandpickle I've suggested ear plugs but he won't consider wearing them

He sounds quite insensitive to be honest

There’s not really a nice way to put it though is there? My DP snores like a jet engine (now in a separate room due to it) and I have never managed to be as gentle as ‘darling, please’ when he’s kept me awake I’m knackered!

We are both snorers and tbh we have never slept well together so we sleep separately I don't think we would split up.though if the rest of your relationship is good surely sleeping together as in the same bed or rather not split you up .?