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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To message him when he's out with friends ...hardly spoke all day.

141 replies

awayupthe · 26/12/2019 18:09

I've been seeing a guy since August.
Anyway haven't seen him in 5 days with it being Christmas etc.
We've been texting all Xmas eve/Xmas day
Spoke on the phone the other night for nearly 3 hours.
Anyway he has hardly said a word all day.
He went out at 2pm with his friends on a pub crawl.
Every time he goes out he forgets I exist but is posting pics of pints to Snapchat /Facebook.
Haven't spoke since about 1pm when I was trying to make convo but I could tell he couldn't be arsed.
Do I text him now?
Just general light heart convo or will I be annoying him whilst he's out with friends?

OP posts:
user1493986150 · 26/12/2019 18:10

He’s out with his mates, id leave him to it and catch up tomorrow.

adaline · 26/12/2019 18:10

Why do you need to be in constant contact?

Nicknacky · 26/12/2019 18:11

Leave him alone to have a night out with his friends. How annoying to be with your friend and they are constantly texting a girlfriend.

It won’t kill you not to text him.

whatalovelytub · 26/12/2019 18:12

No don't text him! I would never text DH when he's out with friends and wouldn't really expect him to text me 🤷🏻‍♀️

ButtonandPickle19 · 26/12/2019 18:12

Don’t be “that” girlfriend. He has a message from you waiting for a reply? Then leave it until tomorrow. If he texted last later on just say “I hope you’re having a good night”. He’s obviously into you, don’t be needy when he’s having a good time

TulipCat · 26/12/2019 18:12

Leave him be! You have already spoken today and he's out with his mates. You risk coming across as rather smothering if you contact him again. Get on with something else.

muddledmidget · 26/12/2019 18:12

I wouldn't, just text him goodnight when you go to bed. If you text with light conversation are you expecting him to reply and keep a conversation going? Or will you get annoyed if he doesn't respond as you wish? If I was out with friends I wouldn't be texting my partner, and probably wouldn't even be checking my phone

Dozer · 26/12/2019 18:12

YABU.

misskatamari · 26/12/2019 18:12

No, just leave him be, he's out with his friends, enjoying himself!

pimples · 26/12/2019 18:12

Leave him to have fun! I wouldn't dream of texting dh when he's out, or vice versa.

Cluelessbeetroot · 26/12/2019 18:14

Why would you even try to “make convo” when he’s just about to go out with his mates? Jesus, give the man a day off (literally)

Somerford · 26/12/2019 18:14

Way too needy and intense. Leave him alone, he's out with his friends.

itgetshardereveryday · 26/12/2019 18:14

Why do you feel the need to text him just to make conversation? Can you not do something with your own friends or family?

Marmalady75 · 26/12/2019 18:14

Leave the poor man in peace. He is having fun with his friends. When my dh is out with friends I only text if it’s very important (I think I’ve done it twice in the last 10 years).

Original poster
awayupthe · 26/12/2019 18:15

He's been out drinking for 4 hours now so he will be drunk by now.
I think it's because normally we chat a lot and he's just been radio silent.

OP posts:
NameChangeNugget · 26/12/2019 18:15

YABVU. That would do my head in

TravellingSpoon · 26/12/2019 18:15

You will be annoying him and it makes you appear super needy and clingy.

He is out having a good time. Leave him alone and talk to him tomorrow.

thebluearsefly · 26/12/2019 18:16

“ Every time he goes out he forgets I exist but is posting pics of pints to Snapchat /Facebook”

^^ This is a red flag, it sounds incredibly controlling and a bit unhinged - you’ve been dating 5 months! He spends hours on the phone to you and you’re only apart for 5 days. I think you need to take a step back

PolloDePrimavera · 26/12/2019 18:16

Noooooooooo!!! If in doubt, DO NOTHING!

YouJustDoYou · 26/12/2019 18:16

Why do you need to be in constant contact with him? You literally just spoke to him for three hours On the phone. He's probably just out enjoying some time with his mates, leave the poor guy be.

bridgetreilly · 26/12/2019 18:16

He's not 'radio silent', he's out with his friends.

Redglitter · 26/12/2019 18:16

For heavens sake give him a break. You dont need to be in constant contact. Hes out with his pals why on earth would he message you?

bigchris · 26/12/2019 18:17

Because he's out with his friends ! It's a massive football day , he won't text when he's talking to his mates , it's rude !

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 26/12/2019 18:17

Please don’t mither him when he’s on a night out with his mates, he’s not going to want to sit texting you while he’s supposed to be chatting to his mates.

Don’t be “that” girlfriend, really.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 26/12/2019 18:17

That's horribly needy, OP. Are you unable to find something else to do today instead of checking up on him/making sure that your'e front and centre all the time?

If I had a boyfriend that did this, he'd be dumped. I can't stand clingyness, it's really unattractive.

Don't do it, do something else that you'd enjoy doing.

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