Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

AIBU?

To message him when he's out with friends ...hardly spoke all day.

141 replies

awayupthe · 26/12/2019 18:09

I've been seeing a guy since August.
Anyway haven't seen him in 5 days with it being Christmas etc.
We've been texting all Xmas eve/Xmas day
Spoke on the phone the other night for nearly 3 hours.
Anyway he has hardly said a word all day.
He went out at 2pm with his friends on a pub crawl.
Every time he goes out he forgets I exist but is posting pics of pints to Snapchat /Facebook.
Haven't spoke since about 1pm when I was trying to make convo but I could tell he couldn't be arsed.
Do I text him now?
Just general light heart convo or will I be annoying him whilst he's out with friends?

OP posts:

Thanks

Share

Report

nevermorelenore · 26/12/2019 18:18

He doesn't forget you exist, he's out for a few drinks and it has literally been a few hours. It's also a pretty new relationship, and it sounds like you're coming on quite strong. Can you go out with your own friends tonight?

Thanks

TheWindowDonkey · 26/12/2019 18:19

He’s out with his mates, leave it til morning!

Thanks

awayupthe · 26/12/2019 18:20

No I'm at home tonight on my own.
I feel a bit under the weather so just planning on a Netflix binge with lots of left over party food.
Yeah I won't text him.
Il wait till he texts in the morning when he's home.
I just miss him u guess when we don't chat.
I think it's probably because I'm home on my own with zero distractions

OP posts:

Thanks

Raphael34 · 26/12/2019 18:20

Get a grip woman. Not texting while he’s out with his mates isn’t ‘forgetting you exist’. You’re not the only person in his life. Do you actually have your own mates? Why don’t you go out instead of harassing him?

Thanks

jellycatspyjamas · 26/12/2019 18:22

Honestly you need to back off. He’s out with his mates - there’s nothing more annoying than being on a night out with someone who’s constantly on the phone to their partner. At 5 months I don’t understand why you’d want to be in constant daily contact anyway, it’s a new relationship and he hopefully has a pretty full life of which your part, but not the biggest part surely.

Text your mates, go out for a drink, watch and movie but put your phone away for a while.

Thanks

itgetshardereveryday · 26/12/2019 18:22

He's been out drinking for 4 hours now so he will be drunk by now.
I think it's because normally we chat a lot and he's just been radio silent.

Who cares if he's drunk? Why does it matter if he's 'radio silent' - he's hardly gone missing. It's been a few hours. You'd be better doing something you fancy doing tonight then texting him in the morning saying you hope he had a good night.

Thanks

LightDrizzle · 26/12/2019 18:22

It’s so fucking rude to be out with friends/family and constantly checking your phone and texting, unless there are extenuating circumstances. Having an insecure and tedious other half does not constitute extenuating circumstances.
It takes a few seconds to post photos to SM. Different to conducting a conversation by text or WhatsApp.

Thanks

Jollitwiglet · 26/12/2019 18:22

Don't act like a limpet.

He doesn't want any kind of light hearted chat with you while he is on a pub crawl with his mates. I mean good grief, it's totally normal not to be having conversation by phone with someone when you're out with your mates. If I was with my mates and they were on their phone to a partner I would think they were rude. Likewise when my husband goes out I don't hear from him and I don't expect to, unless he has a change of plans or something happens.

Thanks

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/12/2019 18:22

posting pics of pints to Snapchat /Facebook

Is he 16?

You need to get on with life. How did you occupy yourself before you got together 5 months ago? Do that.

Thanks

BlueBirdGreenFence · 26/12/2019 18:22

I feel smothered just reading your posts OP. Leave the man to enjoy a drink with his mates in peace.

Thanks

thepeopleversuswork · 26/12/2019 18:23

Seriously leave it. You will annoy the crap out of him.

Also does it not concern you that you feel this needy?

Thanks

AllergicToAMop · 26/12/2019 18:23

I would NOT take kindly to my OH constantly texting me and demanding attention when I am out tbh.

Thanks

adaline · 26/12/2019 18:23

You miss him?

You text him all day yesterday and spoke on the phone for three hours the other night!

Thanks

Puta · 26/12/2019 18:24

I'm home on my own with zero distractions

Jesus wept. Why not crack a book?

Thanks

lisag1969 · 26/12/2019 18:25

Don't run after him. Back off a bit let him chase you. You be silent for a bit. X

Thanks

ProfessionalBoss · 26/12/2019 18:27

My husband has been in his "computer room" all day, I've saw him once all day, when I got a coffee...

When it comes to watching football, I don't think he cares about anything else, more so when he's out with his friends and alcohol or football, nevermind a combination of both are part of his day/night...

I know that it's HIS time, and it's what makes him happy, and we've been together for over 15 years, happily married for over 9 of them...

Although on our 10th wedding anniversary, I expect it to be him and I out spending time together, with a ban on anything football related for the day...

You need to give him some space, and be secure in your relationship, or you'll never be truly happy in my opinion... xXx

Thanks

iforgotthatyouexisted · 26/12/2019 18:28

I've got a mate whose girlfriend constantly texts him when he's out (especially if he's with female friends) and it drives us mad.

He's constantly on his phone because she gets paranoid if he doesn't reply. Then he gets to the point where he's drunk and can't be arsed and she really panics then and is the cycle continues.

Don't be that person!

Thanks

MerchantOfVenom · 26/12/2019 18:30

He's out with his friends.

His priority right now is his friends, who he's probably known a lot longer than you. Even if he hasn't, that's not the point.

It's bad form to be out with people, but sitting messaging other people. Really bad form.

I would have absolutely zero respect for a man who behaved like this - it's awful. Quite pathetic, and skin crawly. Way too needy.

OK, you don't have anything else on, but that's on you, not him. Put the phone down, and let him enjoy his time out. He's not doing anything wrong except posting pics of pints to snapchat.

Thanks

SophieSong · 26/12/2019 18:31

Do you find it difficult to spend time on your own?

Thanks

notangelinajolie · 26/12/2019 18:33

Don't mither him, leave him alone. He's out with friends enjoying himself so you should be happy for him to do exactly that.

Thanks

thickwoollytights · 26/12/2019 18:33

Don't smother him to make yourself feel better

Thanks

MissConductUS · 26/12/2019 18:35

He posts pictures of beer to social media? Is he 19?

Thanks

Chocolate123 · 26/12/2019 18:35

If he was out with you and texting his friends all night I'm sure you would go crazy. Leave him alone and enjoy your evening

Thanks

MashedSpud · 26/12/2019 18:36

Does he post pics of beer on another woman’s kitchen counter?

Thanks

goodluckdontdie · 26/12/2019 18:37

I think it's because normally we chat a lot and he's just been radio silent

...Cos he's out with his friends!

I've daetd/been in relationships with men who text constantly, as well as ones who don't (including now with DH) and I always HATED the neediness of someone messaging me when I'm busy with other people. I hate constant messaging in general tbh.

Thanks

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.