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AIBU?

To message him when he's out with friends ...hardly spoke all day.

141 replies

awayupthe · 26/12/2019 18:09

I've been seeing a guy since August.
Anyway haven't seen him in 5 days with it being Christmas etc.
We've been texting all Xmas eve/Xmas day
Spoke on the phone the other night for nearly 3 hours.
Anyway he has hardly said a word all day.
He went out at 2pm with his friends on a pub crawl.
Every time he goes out he forgets I exist but is posting pics of pints to Snapchat /Facebook.
Haven't spoke since about 1pm when I was trying to make convo but I could tell he couldn't be arsed.
Do I text him now?
Just general light heart convo or will I be annoying him whilst he's out with friends?

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 26/12/2019 18:58

You were going to text him "are you drunk yet?" Are you his mom?

TipsyMalone · 26/12/2019 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sonjadog · 26/12/2019 19:00

I have some sympathy for you as I used to be similar, but you really do have to leave him to enjoy his time with his friends in peace. When I used to do it, I told myself that I was just having a chat /missed him/ just wanted to hear how he was doing, but really I was fooling myself. It came from insecurity and a need for attention. It is the equivalent of shouting "I'm here! I'm here!" over and over. Don't do it. It isn't a good look for anyone.

Rachelfromfriends1 · 26/12/2019 19:04

I’m pretty sure we’ve all been in this situation at some point when we’re keen on someone.

I haven’t either. Then again before DH I dated people that are more into me than I was them, so I guess that makes me OP’s partnerBlush

CombyourhairNow · 26/12/2019 19:05

You’re doing the right thing by not messaging him. He’ll respect you more for it

Oblomov20 · 26/12/2019 19:07

You sound horrendous. Of course he forgets about you and posts pint pictures when he's out with his mates.
That's what everyone should do!
You seem Clingy and a nightmare.

Oblomov20 · 26/12/2019 19:08

We've done nothing but watch football here all day aswell.
I'm loving it!

Scarlettpixie · 26/12/2019 19:10

Wow. Radio silence? Forgets you exist? He is just out! Give the guy a break. No no no. Do not pester him to chat while he is out with his mates. It would be very rude of him to be chatting to you while with his mates anyway.

Oblomov20 · 26/12/2019 19:10

"I’m pretty sure we’ve all been in this situation at some point when we’re keen on someone."

NOPE.

countdowntochristmas · 26/12/2019 19:12

How would you feel if he was messaging you on a night out ? A text to say have a good night miss you ok but not constant interaction it's odd . It's also rude for others if constantly looking at phone . Find something else to do with your time can you not catch up with a friend ? Honestly it's not healthy to be having 3 hour conversations on the phone and the constant need to hear from him , what can you possibly need to speak about ? .

MerchantOfVenom · 26/12/2019 19:13

I wasn't going to pester him or anything.
I was just going to say have a fun night.
Or are you drunk yet ?

That IS pestering him, though?!

At best,you're going to get a 'thanks' and a 'yep' by way of reply. Just to get you off his back.

He's not going to chat with you when he's out with other people. Confused

And when you got those one word replies, you'd be miffed that he hadn't written chapter and verse. So what's the point?

Please use this thread as a learning curve, and move forward.

Boots20 · 26/12/2019 19:15

Could you not just find out which pub hes at and make your way there, txt him when you are a few feet away 'look behind you' then shout SURPRISE I MISSED YOU really loudly, he will love it x

Mimithemouse · 26/12/2019 19:16

Not this again?
Non alcoholic beer wasnt it @MashedSpud

HomeAlone39 · 26/12/2019 19:17

Oh god, please don't text him. He's on a pub crawl with the lads. Let him enjoy it

AllergicToAMop · 26/12/2019 19:18

@Boots20 Shock

Just make sure the skin is properly moisturizer for easier handling...😂

kittyclouds · 26/12/2019 19:20

Leave her alone everyone! Good advice but do you have to give it so harshly? Yes OP may have some anxieties etc but handle with care.

I agree with others overall points OP, keep yourself busy. But also maybe more long term have a think if you need a little life balance too x

newbingepisodes · 26/12/2019 19:21

Me and DH never text - unless it's "can you pick up pint of milk on way home" 🤣

Dieu · 26/12/2019 19:23

Don't be needy. Keep your dignity in place and give him a bit of peace.

Mimithemouse · 26/12/2019 19:23

OP, who are you spending Boxing Day with? Do you have family or friends, children? Are you back at work soon or do you have longer off? Just sounds like your whole life revolves around a man texting you?

BraveGoldie · 26/12/2019 19:24

Well done for not texting him! I think people are being a bit tough to you, but I also agree. It is really really important that this guy (any guy) doesn't become your only Centre of gravity. It's not healthy for you and he will find it smothering.

Embrace the time to do something you really enjoy!! I love having an evening to myself. Run a bath with candles and a glass of wine, binge on a favorite tv show, read a book, write in your diary, plan your year's goals or just breathe and relax.....And if I am in a rare time of not feeling like downtime, I would grab the chance to do something constructive (sort something in the house etc), or go out myself.... the last thing you should be doing is watching your phone and thinking about him!

Lulualla · 26/12/2019 19:25

If I had someone smothering me like that because of half a day of not talking then I would run a mile.

If you cannot be happy when you're with yourself, then you wont ever be happy with someone else. Learn how to be content without constant contact from someone else.

gingersausage · 26/12/2019 19:25

@AllergicToAMop 🤣🤣 so gross yet so true!!

overnightangel · 26/12/2019 19:25

Being this needy is a sure fire way to be single at new year

Scarsthelot · 26/12/2019 19:25

The problem here OP, is that that you depend on him to entertain you when you are bored and have nothing to do

At 1pm he was getting ready to meet his friends at one. You have taken it personally that he didnt want to enter a long conversation.

You now think he needs to keep entertaining you even when he is busy.

Either you need to learn to be more comfortable in your own company or start looking at ways of entertaining yourself and building your own life, independent of who you are dating and wether they busy or not.

MashedSpud · 26/12/2019 19:27

@Mimithemouse amongst many others 🤣

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