DH not getting up to watch DC undo Christmas Presents

[Mummywithtwocats]

Hi, I am new to mumsnet so please bear with me! I am currently writing this in floods of tears as my day just seems to have gone from bad to worse! I just want to know if I am being unreasonable or if my husband is! If I am, I am prepared to apologise!

This morning it kicked off when my DH didn't want to get up to watch our DC open her Christmas presents. It wasn't early, around 7 O'clock so it wasn't (in my opinion) unreasonable. He told me as he hadn't chosen any of the presents it really doesn't matter to him. I got cross with DH and asked him to get out of bed but now he has the grumps with me and has taken it out on me all day. My parents and his parents were round for Christmas dinner so I've had a busy morning. It hasn't been a particularly pleasant atmosphere as he has been snapping at my parents as he is cross with me. It is totally embarrassing and I feel so upset for my poor Mum who tries really hard.

He has currently stormed off out and shouted he wants a divorce as I make him unhappy.

Is it me being unreasonable or is it him? I just need a bit of a reality check! My DC s still very lite and hasn't picked up on anything, she has had a fantastic day so at least I know she is happy.

Thank you xx

Text him saying .... Make sure you get the divorce papers sent to me ASAP, have a great new year oh and don't come home!

Honestly what an ass did you not tell him to stop being disrespectful to your parents?

His behaviour is utterly unreasonable. Has he always been like this?

What a prick! YANBU, he is being a child, you get up and watch your children opening their presents because it’s just what you do.

Another Christmas twat!

He sounds like a right dick, is he always like this? My dad never used to get up to see us open our stocking presents. Didn’t really bother me at the time as I was just glad the miserable bugger wasn’t there but I feel so bad for my lovely mum now (who is still with him).

Sending a virtual hug he sounds like my ex if everything wasn’t about him he’d have a tantrum and make the atmosphere horrendous, you aren’t being unreasonable at all, pleased you dd has still had a lovely day, we have much nicer Christmas without having to deal with him too

He's making himself unhappy by checking out of family life. Well done for making it nice for dd. See if he shapes up outside the stress of Christmas but on your terms not his.

How awful for you. Utterly unreasonable and he is horrible. Next year have Christmas on your own as a single parent - more fun!

What a dick. What is he usually like? Why hasn’t he been involved in choosing any of her presents? Urghh.

It sounds like he’s checked out of family life. I’d be going through with the divorce.

Completely unreasonable twat. Give him divorce papers. Ob doesnt give a crap

God this place is chocka with people who are saddled with utter twats today! Christmas brings out the worst in many of them who are already insufferable. I’d happily go along with the divorce at this point.

Thank you everyone for your replies. We have spoken about how he acts around my parents before. Sometimes he can be really lovely and caring and other times (like today) he can be very cold and mean, he isn't the man I married. I'm not sure what makes him act like he does sometimes, it is a little like walking on eggshells. I'm just so scared if we did actually get a divorce, I just want my daughter to be happy xx

Divorce him.

What parent is so self-obsessed that they don't want to see thier children opening presents? An absolute fecking narcissistic twatwomble, that's who. That;s what you are married to, and if you have any care for yourself and your children, you will change that situation pronto.

You know what's normal? Parents being so excited, they wake their kids up. Because it gives them pleasure to see children happy, and they just can't wait. That's normal. That's what you can have. But not with him.

What's to be scared of? He's a pig.

What do his parents say?

Have a calm talk in a day or two. Ask him why he did. Listen, and tell him how it makes you feel.

Call his bluff. Tell him you'll be thrilled to be rid of him and since he's so unhappy he might as well not come home at all. Being divorced but happy is the absolute best gift you could give your daughter - living with someone you have to tread on eggshells for will impact upon her at some point and you both deserve far, far better.

I swear to god Christmas brings out the arsehole in some people, why on earth would he choose today to behave like such a wanker?

I hope you can be honest with your family and explain why he was such shit, and let them support you through this.

Seriously? Do you really need to ask? He's told you he wants a divorce. Based on the behaviour you've described, if this is what he's usually like, I'd give him the divorce as a late Christmas present. He sounds useless as a husband and father.

Did he want to have a say in the Christmas presents and feel he was left out?

Even so if he wants a divorce, let him have one!

Do his parents condone his behaviour? You haven't mentioned how they acted to him being rude, etc.

Anyway, let him go. Don't beg him to come back. Don't apologise. (He'll try to make this your fault). Have a long hard think about whether you want every celebration to be dependent on his whims. Then imagine what it would have been like if he hadn't been there to try to upset you, your DC and your DM.

Take him up on his offer !

This was me last year: we are currently processing the divorce.

It would be worse for your daughter to grow up walking on eggshells and thinking it's normal to be treated this way by someone who claims to care about you.

Let him have a divorce he sounds horrid