DH not getting up to watch DC undo Christmas Presents

[Mummywithtwocats]

Hi, I am new to mumsnet so please bear with me! I am currently writing this in floods of tears as my day just seems to have gone from bad to worse! I just want to know if I am being unreasonable or if my husband is! If I am, I am prepared to apologise!

This morning it kicked off when my DH didn't want to get up to watch our DC open her Christmas presents. It wasn't early, around 7 O'clock so it wasn't (in my opinion) unreasonable. He told me as he hadn't chosen any of the presents it really doesn't matter to him. I got cross with DH and asked him to get out of bed but now he has the grumps with me and has taken it out on me all day. My parents and his parents were round for Christmas dinner so I've had a busy morning. It hasn't been a particularly pleasant atmosphere as he has been snapping at my parents as he is cross with me. It is totally embarrassing and I feel so upset for my poor Mum who tries really hard.

He has currently stormed off out and shouted he wants a divorce as I make him unhappy.

Is it me being unreasonable or is it him? I just need a bit of a reality check! My DC s still very lite and hasn't picked up on anything, she has had a fantastic day so at least I know she is happy.

Thank you xx

Just echoing everyone else. He is a twat. My husband doesn't do Christmas and I chose all the kids' presents. He still gets up to watch them open their stockings because he loves to see them happy and excited!!!

Who are these people whose small children don't get up early at Christmas!?

Even if you are lucky enough to have children who don't surely you realise that many of us have children who.do. I mean 5am would be ridiculous but 7am seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Mrschainsawuk most parents would want to get up and see their kids open presents. It's one morning. It's frankly a bit pathetic that you couldn't possibly sacrifice a lie in for one morning.

OP....... About walking on eggshells. At present it's just you but it won't be long until it's your dd also. As she gets older will she want to bring friends home to where she doesn't know what mood her dad will be in. That is how it was for me and my dd. We opened presents on our own. He would spend Xmas day in bed just getting up to eat while I entertained his parents.

I've been there..... For 22 years. Almost had a breakdown. Then one day, like a bolt of lightening....that was enough. Divorce...even tho he didn't want it.

Two years later I met my now dh of 22 years. Anyone can call at our home and I can trust him to be friendly, go and put the kettle on.... He had my difficult mother eating out of his hand.

There are no eggshells.

Trust me..... Eggshells should not exist !!

OP, Well done for making Christmas enjoyable for your daughter and your parents - that's quite an achievement, all things considered.

I hope you LTB (or throw him out), because he sounds like a narcissistic prick who isn't cut out for fatherhood and is unlikely to change.

If he had given a shit, he would have been involved weeks or months beforehand. Using the “I didn’t choose them.” Excuse is called gaslighting. You need to look that up. Making you feel bad for his shit behaviour is typical of abusers. Arsehole.

💐 you deserve better

What is there to talk about? What's going to come from talking about his behaviour? I'm not sure he's going to sit down, apologise for being a wanker, promise to change and then radically alter his behaviour.

I'd be more inclined to tell him you're taking him up on his offer of divorce and he can go and stay with his parents/somewhere else.

Then file for divorce yourself.

And I'm really sorry you're in this situation. It sounds like home life hasn't been nice for a while for you.

You deserve better and every time you waiver and think fondly of times gone by, remember today how he made you feel.

You need to grab the opportunity of the divorce papers with both hands and better yourself a half decent padtner, this will never be him

Hugs, you know what you need to do, yes Christmas is stressful but he's not a good dp or father.

Hope all is OK today. I hope you haven't brushed it to one side and carried on.

If you don't feel strong enough to tell. Him to leave - could you go to your mums house for a few days to get away from him?

So sorry this had happened to you x

You DH is acting like a complete A-hole and if he pushes / wants a divorce then fine.

I mean he’s a father too- and takes no interest in DC’s Xmas? Cold. Awful.

So so sorry this has happened and I hope you find solace and way forward. You and dc did not deserve this selfish man at all.