I am dreading tomorrow because of religion!

[StinkyXmasCheese]

Dreading tomorrow with my family.
They are all strong in their faith Christians and I know there will be praying and thanking god etc.
I was brought up Christian but am no longer and I'm actually quite angry about religion at the moment. (Working through these issues with my counsellor.)
I know Christmas is a Christian holiday but I know I can't have a drink or I'll say something to cause an argument and I have to bite my tongue.
I've already said to dh that we're going away for Xmas next year cos I just don't want to deal with it.
I don't know how I'm going to get through the day without letting something slip!

Can you not just accept they have different beliefs to you ,when they start praying and thanking God just let them get on with it why start an argument ?I'm a very lapsed Catholic ,and would say I'm agnostic .

Andy is right ( albeit a bit blunt) and entitled to his/her opinion on here
Not everyone is a Christian

Do they live close by, OP? Could your car conveniently breaking down tomorrow but you some time or excuse you altogether?

It sounds like it's an issue that could do with discussion with them at some point, but probably best if it's not tomorrow.

When I first realised I was an atheist, I was very angry about it too. As the years have gone on, I've mellowed and realised that a) you can't change anyone's mind about strongly held beliefs 2) everyone is entitled to their opinion the same as you are. Best to smile and let it go if it comes up.
I mean, we know it's all BS right? But what's the harm in letting people believe it? I know people who believe in ghosts, astrology and homeopathy but I don't get angry about it.

I'm not sure why you are angry though in the way you have been brought up ,none of us know truley wether there is an existence of God or not ,they were just practising what they believe ,you have different beliefs both are valid .

I'm also confused. You have different beliefs. God might be real, he might not be. No one knows 100% for sure. If you are this angry about their beliefs it would be best not to go.

Oh stay at home you sound far too grumpy to inflict yourself on family who just want to enjoy Christmas. Don’t go there seething with anger and resentment, you will give everyone indigestion.

Wow @missyB1 your a delight aren't you

Oh dear takethebuscuit a happy clappy video on "intelligent design" isn't the persuasive revelation you think it is...

It's the infliction of it on me as if it was fact as a child that I am angry about, as well as consequently having my entire world view screwed with when I stopped believing in god.

I like the bs bingo idea, I may fill the imaginary sheet! 😂

Dame have you actually watched the video?

Honestly in your situation I would feign illness. Go for a very short time (and state you are recovering from a viral illness if you can get away with it, and excuse yourself to go and rest)

@Takethebuscuitandthesink
I've watched many many many videos from both sides as well as reading the bible myself & I actually know it better than my parents do!

I think you'll find Xmas is for us pagans. They nicked our festival.

Sounds like a much deeper issue than religious affiliation. Have you posted about this before? I came across another mumsnetters angry for similar reasons. Is there abusive behaviour alongside the religious thing?

If no abuse then its likely your family did what they thought best. You need to understand they meant well for you and probably still do. It would be very remiss and uncaring for a Christian parent to not raise their child in the faith. After all remember they believe eternity is at stake.

What is it about tomorrow that you think they are going to say that will annoy you so much? Perhaps think of some responses to shut conversation down.

I know you might be annoyed at me when I tell you this but in all honesty, Im a Christian and have experienced God this year. I wasn't really looking for it. It was strange. I have kind of done a reversal of your position because for me finding out God is real and I've ignored this huge fact for so many years made me sad but it also destabilised my world and I still chafe against it as you cant bolt secular sensibility to religious world view without feeling a bit wierd about it all. So I get your disconnect.

Lots of people lose faith but dont go getting angry at their families. Ask yourself what's really going on.

I wish you well and hope you find some peace.

OP I would find this hard too... thank goodness my family are only mildly religious (church at xmas only) but even that grates a bit. Like with any differences of opinion, politics etc though, you just kind of have to suck it up at certain times, if you want to spend time together as a family. Some good tips on here about breathing and grey rock.

Leaving early isn't really possible as it's not close and we don't drive so are getting lifts.

I think I will be excusing myself at the start of dinner. I may just conveniently have an upset stomach that requires a lengthy bathroom break at that time! 🙈

@StinkyXmasCheese yes have you watched this one if not please watch it and get back to me...

@StinkyXmasCheese right back at you! Who needs a Christmas guest that sits there judging, resenting, and blaming everyone? If you feel so strongly about their beliefs then stay away.

@missyB1 Stay away from my family at Xmas. Yes that will certainly help relations between us won't it. 🙄

It's the infliction of it on me as if it was fact as a child that I am angry about, as well as consequently having my entire world view screwed with when I stopped believing in god.

For millions of people across the world, whether they call themselves Christian or something else, it is still a fact. Your choice not to believe is your right, but it doesn't actually make your disbelief right. It makes it as much only your opinion as your are claiming their belief to be only their opinion. To be honest, you are acting like a spoiled brat and blaming God and your family for choices that you decided to make in making your own decision about things. You really need to grow up. You are not "right" and neither are they - empirically neither of you can prove your opinions are facts. But if you harbour such outright hatred for people who have actually done nothing at all wrong, then the damaged person is you, not them. If you are going to ruin their Christmas by making it all about you, then it is best that you stay away. And get some help for that terrible anger - it isn't rationale or healthy.

Yes my parents did the same as presented god as
fact that said I'm agnostic ,but it could be said atheists do exactly the same present their version as fact where as in reality no one really knows wether God and all that encompasses is fact or fiction it,s easier imo to just accept people have different beliefs

I think YABU a bit, they no doubt brought you up as a Christian as that is what they sincerely believe is right and obviously still do, unless there is a huge back story it seems a bit odd to having been invited back home for Christmas to your religious family that you are surprised that it will be religious
Surely Christmas always was religious back home and thanking God before meals is what they have always done and continue to do I really don't think you can expect people to stop praying or practising their own religion in their own home on one of the biggest festivals for that religion because you have changed your mind about your beliefs over time.
My parents are devotedly religious too as is one sister, I am more moderate and two other sisters don't really believe at all but when we are in my parents home we accept that this is their house and they do things their way including grace before meals and prayers before bed
my Father couldn't not pray , he prays like he breathes naturally it is just part of him, none of us would ever ask him to not pray but even if we did he would just say I always pray before food and I'm not stopping for anyone
it would be different if they were all coming to your house and then imposing this on you, most people would just say the prayers silently when elsewhere
But you can't expect people to stop praying anymore than you can expect them only to keep halal or kosher at home, if you go to a religious Jewish home you expect the food to be Kosher whether you are Jewish or not, if you go on Shabbat they won't be foregoing prayers or switching on lights after sundown , similarly in a Muslim household or even a vegan home, in someone else's house you go along with the way they do things

as in reality no one really knows wether God and all that encompasses is fact or fiction

What are the odds? 🤔