Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

You are being unreasonable. And bitter. Your DD needs to find a better job then.

Also I am your friend's DD. I didn't go to uni, I worked full-time from the age of 17, first in entry level roles as a trainee, and by the time I left my job to start my own business four years ago, I was the boss and on a very good salary. I earned a pittance to start with when I was 17, worked antisocial hours and dealt with a metric ton of shit, but I worked bloody hard, pushed to go on training courses and did professional development in my own free time, and eventually it paid off.

Of course your DD deserves to be treated properly and paid fairly for what she does, but a call centre job is never going to pay what a more skilled role will. She either tries her best to work her way up the ladder there or invests some time and money in professional development and finding out what she actually wants to do.

Oh goodness. Encourage your daughter to make a change (if she wants to) but don’t discredit what your friend’s DD has achieved!
FWIW Data Protection is huge and you really need to be on the ball to take on responsibilities linked to it.
Btw, I worked in a call centre. Then I got fed up. Poor pay, long hours, massive stress. I did my financial qualifications (in my free time!) and changed my career. I know a lot of my old team think I got lucky and get to swan around various meetings now. It’s hard work. Pay is massively better but the responsibility and expectations are completely different too!

that young woman has nearly 10 years of experience + her qualifications which are I guess as hard to get as uni degree, that's why

Yes, Life's not fair. Getting a degree isn't an automatic pass into a good paying job.

I should point out that I have nothing against friend’s DD at all. I’m happy for her of course. My post is about the unjust nature of this with regards to the way in which my DD is treated by her employer vs the pay and treatment which friend’s DD is going to be receiving from the same employer.

Your friend's daughter's skills are more scarce and therefore carry a relative premium. Nothing more to it.

(I don't mean I'm literally your friend's DD as I'm a decade too old!)

Good for her. I believe you make your own luck in life. As others have said, nothing to stop your own daughter getting better qualifications and a better job.

My post is about the unjust nature of this with regards to the way in which my DD is treated by her employer vs the pay and treatment which friend’s DD is going to be receiving from the same employer.

People at the bottom get paid less with less perks than the people at the top.
Do you expect the checkout person at Tesco to be paid the same as a regional manager?

Look at the responsibilities - your DD gets something wrong she might lose a client and get fired.
Your friends DD gets something wrong she will get fired, will never get another job in her field and a lot of clients might go followed by lots of employees.

My. DD is 26 has her own flat car and social life are you jealous of all that are doing. Better than your. Child.

Making it personally about your dd and her friend is unreasonable. Your dd's challenges at work aren't the fault of her friend. They're both young - who knows what's ahead for either of them?

Your dd has a degree. Yes, it's tough to find graduate entry jobs, but maybe entering lower down an organisation with a plan to move up is a more viable route?

It's NU to be pissed off at the differential treatment given to different tiers of staff though.

I work with a lot of different organisations and they all do this.

It's Christmas FFS and what has it got to do with you? You don't sound like a friend at all.

I bet you had your moments bragging about the degree and how your DD was going to uni and wouldn't have given a toss about your friend's DD.

If anything, it should teach you a lesson that university is not the be all and end all.

If my DS didn't have severe learning difficulties, I would be steering him towards an apprenticeship rather than uni.

But that's not what your thread title says OP. If that was the case, surely it would say "AIBU to be disgusted with how DD gets treated by her employer" but it doesn't does it . It says "AIBU to be disgusted by friends DDs salary".

My post is about the unjust nature of this with regards to the way in which my DD is treated by her employer vs the pay and treatment which friend’s DD is going to be receiving from the same employer.

They do totally different jobs with completely different responsibilities so of course they will be paid differently.

Many degrees can be an expensive waste of time. As someone who did go to university, unless my children have a specific career path I would not be advising then to go straight to university instead of emolument - long distance university courses can easily be done at a later date when relevant to aspirations or job roles.

Your friend’s DD has 10 years experience in the industry and has professional qualifications, compared to your DD who presumably doesn’t have the same length of experience or the same qualifications?
Could your DD do some professional qualifications in this area too, maybe that would boost her career prospects.

I do agree that the gap between the lowest and highest earners in this country is, for the most part, far too wide.

Oh OP, it's easy to feel that your child must be an asset to the firm, the same as your friends DD, but sadly, your dd would be very easy to replace, and so they dont need to pay her role well. On the other hand, jobs that are hard to recruit for and are important to the company, do tend to have higher salaries attached.

Your dd has got stuck doing a job, when your friends dd has a career.

Has your dd looked and proactively asked if theres any graduate training roles? (Or not graduate roles as such, but by having a degree and A levels would put her above other candidates).

I should point out that I have nothing against friend’s DD at all. I’m happy for her of course. My post is about the unjust nature of this with regards to the way in which my DD is treated by her employer vs the pay and treatment which friend’s DD is going to be receiving from the same employer.

Absolute bollocks.

Clearly this company has progression opportunities. Your dd, isnt pursuing them in the same way your friends dd did.

You are one of those people who thought your dd going to uni meant life would be easier for her and it entitled her to a higher wage.

It doesnt. They chose different paths. Your odds path Includes having a degree she cant or doesnt want to use. The other woman has done it a different way.

You are simply bitter that she has achieved things without a degree.

Its ridiculous to appear surprised that more senior people get bigger wages and more perks.

Your friends dd is probably mor that easy to replace. Your daughters job role can be taught to most people very quickly, so easier to replace if she decides to move on to something better. Your daughters has been there how long?

It’s hard to remember a time I’ve read a more jealous sounding and nasty post regarding a young woman who has obviously worked hard achieved a lot.

It is all about supply and demand. To secure a high salary you have to acquire skills that are in demand.

It is ok to be concerned for your DD. And disillusioned. But it has really nothing at all to do with your friend’s daughter’s salary. Truly you don’t earn £70k age 26 without being very good at your job and very hard working.

I’ll just be brutally honest and I don’t mean to offend. The problem is, so many people like yourself believe that a degree can buy you a good job and prospects. It can’t, it’s a piece of paper and unless you’re using it to become a professional e.g medical, legal. Half the time, it’s not worth the paper it’s written on. It doesn’t make you more entitled to a good job, more deserving of higher pay and certainly not more intelligent.

It is common place actually within my friendship group, those without degrees are more successful.

Your friends DD has worked hard, she may well be more motivated, ambitious, intelligent, harder working and so on, she may not be, but she didn’t swan into anything.

If your DD is bothered then tell her to use it as motivation to do better too. I started my career in a call centre too, you are treated like shit and are bottom of the food chain with crap money. I advise she leaves and works up, there is hardly ever long term progression up to success if you stay in those jobs.

Good for your friends dd! This is why my son is going to be doing a degree apprenticeship as he gets all the training and valuable experience, but also his degree.

Just because your dd has a degree it doesn’t guarantee she will land a high paying job.

Your friends dd has worked really hard for years on her career progression, so she has the knowledge and skills to be offered that job and salary.

Wow. You do not have a generous spirit at all do you? You sound competitive, aggressive, and bitter towards this young woman. And trying to pass it off as anger towards the companies pay structure.

Try being happy for other people's success as most times they earn it. Try not to begrudge other people for their different paths in life. it makes you sound sour.

Money is not everything anyway and a good chunk will go towards tax etc. Live and let live. I don't have much at all, but very happy with my life.

What is your DD doing to improve her lot? Is she applying for other jobs? Has she investigated post-grad or other training schemes to give her an edge over other candidates? Does she do professional development in her spare time? Is she active on LinkedIn and networking to try to find opportunities? Has she got her CV looked at to make sure it's targeted to the kind of jobs she's applying for?

Your friends daughter has worked for 10 years in her field to get a job with such a great salary. You sound bitter. Perhaps you thought it would be the other way round because your daughter went to university?
Your Daughter is only 26. If she wants a job that makes £70k a year then maybe she should change her career.