Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

Our friend’s daughter left school at 18 and went straight to work as an administrator in a large finance company. She is now 21, has worked her way up very quickly and is now earning as much as her 28 yo brother who has both a degree and a professional qualification. They aren’t paying her that for nothing. They are paying her big bucks because she has worked hard, is very good at what she does and is worth it to the company. Just like your friends child. Any response except ‘bloody well done’ seems like jealousy.

You should be asking your DD why she hasn't tried to get another job, or return to study. If she doesn't like her situation, that's no one else's fault and its her responsibility to change it.

I know lots of people younger than me with huge salaries and great job titles despite seemingly not working or studying as hard as me or DH did. It really sucks, I get that, but its not their fault either.

Call centre work is notorious for paying frontline call staff a pittance and treating them like shit.

I understand your frustration, but to be honest, it is just the way the cookie crumbles.

Is your dd studying for any further qualifications now? What subject is her degree in, and is it worth her taking an entry-level job in that area rather than the call centre stuff? She would probably progress quite quickly.

Like others I don't see what there is to be angry at here. Your friends DD made better choices, straight into a good apprenticeship at 16, obviously worked hard gaining qualifications, ans 10 years later has landed a good job. Your DD chose to go to uni instead. What did she do her degree in? If humanities subjects and no masters then no wonder she has struggled, she should have made better choices. If she did a science based degree then she shouldn't have struggled to get a good job and should maybe try harder. She is still young, she can re-train or get better qualifications.

Wow so bitter, if your DD has a degree, is she prepared to move to secure a job? Is she actively making applications for other roles? Are there any professional quals she can take?

Wow that really is bitter!
If your daughter doesn’t like her job encourage her to start looking not give up on a high paid career at 26. Your friends DD has spent 10year of hard work to get where she is.

Wouldn't the world be a happier place if people were happy for others rather than jealous?

Disgusted?? Wow you sound awful!
It seems your friends dd has worked hard to climb the company ladder and your dd has been unlucky in her choices and where she has found herself so far but to be disgusted at someone else's hard earned success is actually unbelievable! Give yourself a shake!

I think it's very obvious that YABU, OP.

Yes there's a massive and growing disparity between the salaries of senior management and their lowest paid employees. It is an unfair system but it is the way it works at the moment. Should it be less unequal? Yes but your friend's dd is making the system work for her.

YABVU

I’m going to show my dd this thread, she’s 16 and very big headed, she’s also very bright and thinks going to UNI will land her a very high paid job, she refuses to look into going down any other route and thinks apprenticeships are for less academic people. I have told her many times that there are people I went to school with who went to uni and are still working in low paid jobs, and there are people who didn’t do A level and are now loaded and earning a lot of money.

Your DD may have to start at the bottom and work her way up because companies often prefer experience over a UNI degree, your friends dd went down the route of gaining experience whilst gaining qualifications.

I think previous posters are taking it the wrong way.

It is wrong to treat your lower payed staff like vermin and then offer all the benefits to the high earners. Companies need to change. Nevertheless, this isn’t op’s friend’s dd’s fault. I would be slightly irritated but that’s just because I don’t like people boasting about money.

Strange OP.

This is how the world works. In a large organisation there will be call centre withers, receptionists, admin staff earning an average salary, and managers, expert professionals etc earning considerably more. Surely you understood this before your friend’s DD got a good job?

Your DD is young. She doesn’t need to be resigned to a dead end job. She can do further study or training or start looking around for something else. Hopefully she has the good sense to be considering this and isn’t moping about bitching about people with better salaries than her.

I joined a “large financial firm” in a call centre after leaving university (Top 5) as I had not managed to get any grad scheme places.

I used that to find my feet then moved across to another firm in a non client facing role but still very entry level. I have worked my way up and across since them, got myself a reputation for being hard working, was headhunted to another team with a prestigious reputation and am now on a fast track promotion scheme that will see me on £60k when I’m 29 (currently on £40k).

It’s not fun when you miss out on the grad schemes and feel you’re being overlooked but just 5 years after leaving Uni I have caught up and even overtaken some of the people that joined as grads the same year I joined the call centre. It can be done but your daughter needs to get smart about it- work hard and get a mentor who can advise her on career moves.

Call centre role means she is building up important people and customer service skills that can form a base for a great career. It feels like baby steps at first but it can be done.

Some companies provide in house on the job training

Some companies provide/encourage employees to complete qualifications

Some of my peers have done well by changing jobs every couple of years or re training

I'm wondering if you would have the same attitude if they were male

Nobody is just going to offer you a well paid job, you have to put time, effort, network, study, make the most of opportunities

Yes there's a massive and growing disparity between the salaries of senior management and their lowest paid employees. It is an unfair system

HOW is that unfair AlunWynsKnee? People who bring money/business and/or take on responsibilities are paid more. That's the only fair way to pay people.
What would you suggest instead?

I'm afraid you just sound spiteful. I am sorry that your DD isn't valued in her job, but your comments about your friend's DD are uncalled for. 10 years relevant experience, plus professional qualifications, are worth much more in the workplace than a degree with no relevant experience.

This must be a joke.

I am 27 (so roughly the same age your DD is now) and even I could see by the time I finished high school that the tables were turning. Degrees (unless very job specific in nature) were barely worth the paper they were printed on, let alone the debt people get into for them.

I went against advice and got myself an apprenticeship. I had a mortage at 22 and was on £35k by the time I was 25.

None of my friends who went to uni yet are earning more than me, and by the time they work up to my level (senior), I'll already have 10 years + experience. Who would you hire??

I'm glad you posted this though if it stops one parent from forcing a useless degree at university down their children's throats.

And to emphasise, I am NOT talking about job specific degrees that lead to a recognised profession i.e nursing, doctor, lawyer etc.

A RELEVANT graduate degree of at least 2:1 or higher is equivalent to 5 years of work experience. By the time she was 21 your friend’s DD had already got that, and so at 21 they were both equal. Where they differed was that your friend’s DD took a relevant apprentice programme that was tailored for financial services while your DD seems to have fallen into a random non-graduate call centre job (it might as well have been a British Gas / Fashion call centre for all the value it’s giving her) which a lot of graduates tend to do when they either lose confidence or don’t really know how to apply for the right graduate jobS.

😂 oh you!
I was waiting for some trolling posts after everyone finishes off their prep😂

5/7.

It is an unfair system but it is the way it works at the moment. Should it be less unequal? Yes but your friend's dd is making the system work for her.

Bit I bet it her daughters gamble paid off and she was the one earning she wouldnt be disgusted.

It is wrong to treat your lower payed staff like vermin and then offer all the benefits to the high earners.

But then she wouldnt be disgusted by the friends wage. But annoyed her dd is paid and treated so poorly.

Nor would the "but my daughter went to uni" be relevant at all. Surely if your problem is how her daughter is treated, she would still be disgusted if her daughter didn't have a degree.

Or is it just people with degrees that should be treated better.

Some people do well in life like your friends dd, some like your dd get a crap deal. That’s just life

Sounds like your friends dd has worked very hard from her apprentice days to get where she has, it’s not her fault your dd was unemployable for whatever reason after uni 🤷🏻‍♀️

truth is, you are in better position with a degree nowadays. Only if you don't sleep on it and use it as a stepping stone though, in itself it is worth nothing if you don't put your ass in gear.

There are degrees and there are degrees. The Blair government wanted to increase the number of graduates so encouraged colleges to become universities and offer degree courses in "accessible " subjects.

What is your dds degree in?

However you dress it up, you are basically bitter and jealous that your friend's dd has done better than yours.

Nice.