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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

730 replies

DisgustedParent · 23/12/2019 15:51

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

OP posts:

Rtmhwales · 23/12/2019 16:03

I plan to encourage my DS to go into a trade for this very reason.

I have a Masters degree. Brother did an apprenticeship and trade. He earns double what I do, better hours and more benefits. That's life. A university degree isn't worth much depending what it's in.

What is your DD's degree in? If financial success was important to her she should've chosen her career path solely based on that and less on interests.

Sux2buthen · 23/12/2019 16:04

@PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind Thankyou, I forgot I need to get foil. It's on my list now

Jellybeansincognito · 23/12/2019 16:04

You sound bitter.
Surely this can’t be news to you? It’s the way it always works.

Having a degree often doesn’t equate to a better salary either.

Beansandcoffee · 23/12/2019 16:04

Perhaps your daughter needs to look for a career type role. Unfortunately call centre is not a career whilst currently data protection is the new must have job in all organisations.

FlamingoAndJohn · 23/12/2019 16:04

Hang on. If she started at 16 and is now 26 then she’s been working there for 10 years. Hardly swanning in.

Marriedtoapenguin · 23/12/2019 16:05

Stop being jealous. Well done to her for working her way up. I know people who did apprenticeships and have grafted like hell and are now out earning me 5 to 1. Fair play to them.

billy1966 · 23/12/2019 16:05

Sounds like a decade of hard work combined with word related study has paid off for your friends DD.

No wonder her mother is delighted and proud of her.

Instead of being envious, I would be asking her for any career tips for your DD.

Good luck.

misselphaba · 23/12/2019 16:05

I'm surprised this isn't a reverse.

meggybug · 23/12/2019 16:05

Of course the company treat the roles differently. Your friend's dd's job is a senior management position and requires a specialist skillset that she has developed over a 10year career. Your dd's job is not. Simple.

Celebelly · 23/12/2019 16:05

Good for your friend's DD! Maybe instead of trying to bring others down, you look at ways you can build your daughter up.

doadeer · 23/12/2019 16:05

Has your daughter been working in the call centre for 5 years if she graduated at 21? What work experience did she have before?

PineappleDanish · 23/12/2019 16:06

Jealousy is never an attractive quality.

Well done to your DD's friend, she;s worked hard, got lots of experience and professional qualifications and is now reaping the rewards.

Lippy1234 · 23/12/2019 16:06

It sounds like your daughter works for a good company that offers excellent salary and benefits for candidates with experience and the right qualifications. Your daughter could also be earning 70k in 5-10 years time.

doadeer · 23/12/2019 16:06

Though I'm not sure I'd want my mum telling all her friends how much I earn!

Singinghollybob · 23/12/2019 16:06

I suppose the difference in pay and benefits relates to the difference in skills required for each role.
Plus the professional qualifications the other woman has worked for, which are relevant to the role.
And dont forget she started working at 16, likely at least 5 years earlier than your daughter- she's hardly been swanning all this time.

Good on her! Maybe your daughter could look to retrain if she is unhappy in her role.

Fatasfooook · 23/12/2019 16:07

Welcome to Tory Britain

Thesearmsofmine · 23/12/2019 16:07

She’s spent 10 years working and studying so well done to her.

PineappleDanish · 23/12/2019 16:07

I should point out that I have nothing against friend’s DD at all. I’m happy for her of course

Bollocks you are, you're "disgusted" by her, not happy.

Kaykay066 · 23/12/2019 16:07

My boyfriend works in a call centre for a large bank and earns more than me per month (part time nurse) I don’t think it’s a bad wage but it’s not great either! So she can’t be that poorly off. His management are great and encouraging him to move on within the bank - has banking qualifications etc
Perhaps instead of being envious of this girl who has clearly done very well for herself in something she is good at worked hard at and completed education in(a degree isn’t the bee end for some jobs)
You could encourage your daughter to go back to study something else, closer to home and support and encourage her. I’m dyslexic and struggled at school went to college then uni to do my nursing I worked my backside off to do the thing I wanted to do, and I did!! It’s a struggle for a lot of people but no point sitting in a dead end job moaning about how good other people have it when you won’t/can’t try to better yourself, best to do it whilst she’s young!

She may never earn 70k many of us won’t but doing the job/career you want and enjoy is something you have to work at sitting back and not doing anything isn’t going to get her out of a call centre is it, nor is being jealous of others, if she wants it she needs to go and get it...

MincePiesGetInMyBelly · 23/12/2019 16:08

Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up.

There's your answer. Stop being jealous.

krustykittens · 23/12/2019 16:08

Your friend's DD has worked hard for 10 years and gained skills while working, skills that have a value in her industry. Your DD may have done a degree but did it qualify her for anything? Did it give her skills that made her more employable? Or was it something like English Literature, which qualifies you for nothing? Because if so, she is basically an over-educated semi-skilled worker and they don't earn a lot. Them's the breaks. Get over yourself and stop being so jealous.

Hopoindown31 · 23/12/2019 16:08

You don't say what your DD's degree is in.

The other girl must be very talented as that rise is pretty meteoric although this is the finance sector and presumably 'darn sarff' so inflated salaries for management positions are not uncommon.

Sadly many people go to university to do degrees that give them little in the way of stand out skills and believe the hype. Clearly in this case doing industry specific courses and gaining and extra 3/4 years of experience is a massive advantage in a sector where there is significantly more investment occuring (data protection) thanks to legislation changes and high profile cock ups.

My view is that if you are doing many arts or social science degrees at a mediocre university you are unlikely to see much benefit financially. I believe the stats show this as well. STEM subjects are usually much better choices for people at this level.

Pfefferkuchen · 23/12/2019 16:08

Welcome to Tory Britain

with a success story like this one, that should cheer up everybody indeed.

Whiskers14 · 23/12/2019 16:09

What a vile, spiteful post. Your friend's DD isn't "swanning in" to do bugger all for a bigger salary she doesn't deserve – she's been working for ten years earning professional qualifications to reach the top of her field. You should be ashamed for being so nasty about her promotion and I can only imagine what your friend would think if she knew.

CakeAndGin · 23/12/2019 16:09

If your daughter is unhappy with her situation, she has to change it. There is nothing stopping taking additional qualifications as your friends DD is.

No doubt if roles were reversed, you’d be extremely proud of your daughter.

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