Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

During school and at university did your dd have a regular job?

1. Doing a degree means fuck all, 50% of people have one. Basket Weaving from New-south-west Polytechnic isn't the same as Medicine at Cambridge.
2. Call centre workers are paid little because anyone can do the job. The more niche/in-demand/rare your skills are, the better you will get paid and the better the working conditions are. Some people get paid 50k to work 36.5 hours a week, with benefits, flexitime and homeworking - because if those people leave, the company won't find another one for 6 months! Whereas if call centre staff leave, they'll find another one the next day.

There's no point being jealous. I have a friend who earns 100k+ (at 26) while I'm on 35k. But on the other hand, I don't want to work in a hedge fund, do 12 hour days or live in London - so fair play to her because I couldn't do it!

I think being 'disgusted' is a tad extreme.

Being lucky and working hard pays dividends. You don't know the ins and outs of how she got to earn that salary.

Being positive, flexible and willing to take on tasks others don't want to because it's dross or boring helps massive. I'm on a fair whack of a wage but people don't realise I moved to 7 different counties in less than 7 years with my job, I put myself forward for doing all the shit jobs no one wanted to do, worked hard and it's payed off. No everyone can do my job, I'm experienced and get well rewarded for it. I could have refused to move or do the boring stuff, but chances are I wouldn't be in the job I am now.

Amazing! I’m a real advocate for apprenticeships, it’s good to hear of a success story of someone working through theean times to reap the rewards

This just shows that the current system where so many people end up with degrees doesn't guarantee that they get a decent job at the end of it.

Instead of bitching about this young women who sounds like she's worked hard for the last 10 years, why didn't you get your daughter to do a degree that might actually lead to a proper job?

People like you make me sick - talk about mean and spiteful just because your daughter has got herself stuck in a dead end job.

If you think this young woman has basically talked her way into a highly paid job with a flash title, why can't your daughter do the same. After all, she's got a degree ....
What's her degree in?
Does it make up for 10 years experience in a relevant field?

she’s also very bright and thinks going to UNI will land her a very high paid job, she refuses to look into going down any other route and thinks apprenticeships are for less academic people. I have told her many times that there are people I went to school with who went to uni and are still working in low paid jobs, and there are people who didn’t do A level and are now loaded and earning a lot of money.

Depends on the degree. My uni mates (maths at top 10 uni) are all earning big bucks in Finance in the city. I however have a mid-paying data job with good work-life balance that's boring AF (and have job hopped through a few of these). Money's not important to me and in hindsight I wish I'd never done my degree - and trained in something more practical/rewarding instead.

STEM subjects at a top uni can be really good IF money is important to you and you want to work somewhere corporate & officey. I don't know a single person out of all my uni friends that has a call-centre or admin job out of uni (actually, I know one, she did History....)

FWIW Dd in a roundabout way works in hospitality on zero hours contracts managing big events.

She is really good at managing people and although she started on £7 per hour she quickly became supervisor and then manager.

She sometimes manages people who went and got a degree to do the job she is doing.

She is 19 has a handful of GCSEs that she scraped through and been working since she was 16

She works evenings and weekends. She regularly works 14 hour days or goes from job to job.

She meets hundreds of different people at each event.

On 3 different occasions people who have seen her working and asked her if she would go and work for them full time in a managerial capacity.

She comes home with their card and an offer of a £40k salary but she isn’t interested . She has her own business which is slowly getting there

If your dd wants to progress then she needs to get out of the call centre and start working and meeting people and start planning for her future

Sitting behind a desk in a call centre is ok if that is what she wants to do but if it isn’t why has she spent years there.

I don’t know how other parents are with their children but every few months I sit down with mine and have a catch up of where they are at, if everything is heading in the right direction or if something has stalled and we can brain storm a different approach.

When was the last time you sat down and talked things through

Do you even know what exactly her career plans are or what her reasoning was of going to university in the first place

Wow. This is hilarious 😂

How entitled do you sound??? Just because she went to uni does not guarantee her a good job or career. Friend's DD has clearly worked hard to get where she is now and well played to her. Not saying your DD hasn't worked hard, but friend's DD has clearly made wiser career choices that have allowed her to be in the position she is in. Good for her!

I bet you were very smug when DD went of to Uni and her friend was just working.

Going to Uni isnt a guaranteed right to a high paid job

Dont be so ridiculous and does your DD see this as an issue? If so, she needs to do something about it and not turn into you.

You sound very bitter and mean.

Envy truly is an ugly emotion.

She is getting the salary that her specialism commands. Maybe your DD should start taking some of the same courses.

OP - you are hilarious!
I don't think there is another way to read your post!
You are simply really upset that your daughter who has a degree is not being paid what your friend's daughter has been offered and she's going to be in a senior position to your daughter WITHOUT A DEGREE! Oh no!!!

I bet you would not be moaning about the lower paid roles and benefits if your daughter was highly paid!

This other young lady has spent 10 years working her way up in a specialist field which a lot of people find dull - she has worked hard but in a different way.

Money is not everything - perhaps support your daughter to find a role that makes her happy (irrespective of the salary) and be happy for your friend's daughter - I would be. We all tread different paths in life but you can't put a tangible value on happiness.

whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all

But more often than not, they have an awful lot of responsibility on their shoulders.

get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount

She didn’t swan herself into the company though, she worked her way up.

Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000

If you told me that you weren’t proud, excited or whatever at the time when your DD went to university but your friend’s DD “only” went into an apprenticeship, I’d call you a liar 😀

I can’t see your friendship with this poor woman lasting to be honest.

OP- if you are still reading, please dont bang on about this over Christmas to your DD. She probably knows full well shes not made the most of her degree or made the best choices in the last 5 years post uni.

Forget your friend's DD, your DD is at the stage when many of her friends at uni who were took on training contracts post Uni are now suddenly earning good money (when for the first couple of years after graduating, the monthly amount they would be getting wouldnt be far off hers).

She must know shes being left behind and doesn't need to hear it over the festive period.

If she brings it up, you can offer to support her via her moving back in if she wants to say, go back to do a post grad or relocate where there's work that will lead somewhere. But dont raise it.

Some people have great academic promise, but just can't transfer that to high paying careers. They aren't failures, just dont have the skills that are prized by employers, when they did have the skills prized by schools.

I don’t think this hard working young woman has worked her way up in that company - though it doesn’t matter whether she did or not, OP is just as out of order either way.

OP says the woman has accepted an offer - sounds more like an external job than a promotion.

I found this thread at post 666 and let's hope OP doesn't go on about this to DD and make it a Christmas hell.

Nah, OP. Are you familiar with the expression "You pays your money, and you makes your choice"?

OP also says “swan in to the company” so I’m pretty sure she’s only just joined this company.

Ellisandra - so she worked her way up somewhere and was poached because her skills are so desirable multiple companies need them.

No one is just sat having coffee and suddenly gets offered a £70k job out of the blue just for being in the right coffee shop at the right time.

@Ellisandra

I think she's obviously worked her way up the industry though, adding value at various companies and therefore building up her experience and skills to climb the career ladder.

@JaJoJe absolutely! I’ve posted nothing but praise for this woman!

Just correcting as quite a few comments are about her working her way up. It does matter (a tiny bit!) because people are suggesting the OP’s daughter could therefore do the same as the company may have a policy of home grown talent.

What is usually a good lesson, is that if you want salary and responsibility increases, chasing them externally is often a good way to go. It’s just one more thing to praise this woman for - that she’s prepared to take the risk of the unknown!

I also posted earlier that had OP’s daughter joined as an apprentice aged 16, she might anyway not have had this woman’s career success.

Just as a degree doesn’t guarantee you a senior, having a degree doesn’t show you’re suitable for one. The market is so tough out there for even graduates with promise, that’s a fact - but there are plenty of graduates whose degrees weren’t that difficult.

*senior role

@Ellisandra sorry if mine sounded like I was contradicting you - I see we are on the same page

DisgustedParent you mention that your dd has applied for loads of stuff but lacks the relevant experience.

So why isn’t she getting experience.

Atm the only experience she has is for another call centre job.

Why not do different jobs, volunteer go out and carve herself some experience.

Set her sights at the bottom rung then start the climb upwards.

If your dd did a criminology degree why didn’t she join the police after uni?