‘Shared DNA’ only
SweetSouberry · 23/12/2019 12:50
I know I am BU but want some insight why I get so wound up by this.
I have a happy marriage with okay relationship with in-laws-nothing like some of the dreadful issues you read about on here.
Every year a cousin in-law invites the family as in blood related siblings and cousins to a get together along with their children who are ‘independent’ I.e not likely to get in the way of boozing etc.
DH goes off with brother and has great time. He has now taken eldest child against my wishes.
DH is not controlling. He is lovely man. I have been out twice this week for parties without him. There are no issues like that so why do I get so wound up by this?
Cousin’s wife obviously is there as she lives there.
LuluBellaBlue · 23/12/2019 13:03
How are your children being treated differently? Do you mean because the eldest has been invited and the others haven’t?
So your upset because husband is invited and your not. Whilst that doesn’t seem very nice, by the sounds of it no other partners / non blood relatives are invited so it’s nothing personal to you.
Scarsthelot · 23/12/2019 13:09
Your children arenr been treated differently.
This us a party for those who grew up in the same family and their 'Independent' kids.
You arent invited. The kids, if independent, are.
I find it odd to exclude partners. But in another way I would love to get together with my siblings and cousins, occasionally just us with the shared history.
Why does your dh have to abide by your wishes?
DowntonCrabby · 23/12/2019 13:10
It is a bit shitty and exclusive.
I think just about ok if DC is 19/ an adult i.e can make their own choices. If still a DC though it’s really shit you’re DH has taken them effectively reinforcing the blood only aspect of a family party, if actual children are included so should you be.
MrsBricks · 23/12/2019 13:11
I would not be bothered by this. I'm going on a night out with some siblings and cousins over Christmas and partners aren't invited.
Sometimes it's fine to do things just with your family?
Also older and younger siblings often do different things - taking a 10 year old to a party is very different to a 4 year old.
I am taking my oldest child ice skating tomorrow but leaving youngest behind.
AndAnotherNameChanger · 23/12/2019 13:14
I think it's ok if it's just siblings and cousins as then it's a catch up between people who presumably grew up together (ish) i.e. akin to you meeting up with a group of old friends without him - not a problem.
It's a problem when they include the next generation because then it's not about who grew up together but about family in general and you've been a member of the family for longer than your children and are being excluded - not ok.
Scarsthelot · 23/12/2019 13:15
Split a family up?
It's one party not a lifetime.
OP goes out on her own.
Are you seriously suggesting that you can never invite someone to something without inviting their partner....ever?
Jesus, companies are splitting marriages up all over the country at this time of year by having Christmas parties with no plus 1?
ColaFreezePop · 23/12/2019 13:15
You haven't provided enough information.
I go to family things without my DP and most of my siblings turn up without their OHs and children. They can go if they want but most don't want to spend 12+ hours in the company of people they are going to struggle talking to.
Andahelterskelterroundmylittle · 23/12/2019 13:16
So ... in theory ... all members of your family will be invited to this family bash except you ? YADNBU No way would my child go either- fuck that !!
For those of you who would wave them off and stay at home as the Great Uninvited... bloody doormats 🙈
Scarsthelot · 23/12/2019 13:17
Because parenting is about making joint decisions. Obviously you can't always agree, but if I feel strongly about something regarding the DC I expect DH to respect that (and vice versa of course). DH can make his own decision about himself.
And if the dh feels just as strongly they want them to go? You know, the childs other parent? They disagree on this. Ops wished dont automatically become more important.
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