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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

whether to report dh for drink driving right now?

260 replies

steakandmantoo · 22/12/2019 21:29

I can't even believe I'm in this predicament. DH is a bus driver, so driving is his job, what supports us.

he has came home drunk a few times, where he has drove home, and I've been angry, and warned him to not do it again.

He just popped back now to drop me some food off, and I smelt vodka, his eyes looked red, and his cousin is in the car, drunk also. He flat out denied it, and said I'm imagining things, and then he went back to his car and drove off.

I'm really worried about him killing himself and cousin, and other people. But if I report him, and the police catch him, that means his jobs gone, and we would be left broke with no income?

I just don't know what to do to make sure he never does this again.

OP posts:
recklessruby · 23/12/2019 01:23

@WildChristmas I try to stop it now whenever I can. Ds is 31, he knows what happened and is strongly against drink driving.
Sadly the night he died we had just had a big argument about his drinking and he drove off. I should have called the police then.
At 3.30 am I had police officers at my door telling me what had happened.

WildChristmas · 23/12/2019 01:35

@recklessruby That is a tragic story. How awful for you all. You were trying to make him see about his drinking too. My heart goes out to you. Sad

You and OP have probably / potentially saved lives by your actions now.

mediumbrownmug · 23/12/2019 01:44

OP, you did the right thing. To the troll, the law is the law: OP obeyed it, her DH did not. If there are any consequences for her husband, the law will decide them. There will be none for OP because she’s legally in the right. There is no argument against this, in spite of your almost adorably antiquated attempts at setting womankind back several decades. Hmm

Pixxie7 · 23/12/2019 01:48

Well done it must have been hard but you have potential saved lives.

Instatwat · 23/12/2019 02:39

There’s always one knob. Let’s just all stop engaging with him/her and hopefully it’ll slope back off under its bridge.

RachelYC · 23/12/2019 03:52

Well done OP, you did the right thing in a shit situation. I hope you’re ok... can you maybe go and stay with a friend? Xx

eaglejulesk · 23/12/2019 04:15

Well done OP, you did the right thing, hard though it must have been. He could so easily have killed someone.

Aroundnabout1 · 23/12/2019 04:20

Jeaus, i couldn't live with a tosser like this. He could kill my kid crossing the road. Makes me furious just reading it.

Apolloanddaphne · 23/12/2019 05:04

You did the right thing OP.

ChongADong · 23/12/2019 05:33

@rp30 I'm also a copper. You are making me cringe. 'Snitch' Grin Grin are you a drugs runner?

halocompanach · 23/12/2019 06:55

I am not encouraging drink driving but I don't see what informing telling the police acheives

Informing the police can save lives. Not informing the police can cost lives. It's not rocket science so I fail to see why you cannot understand it unless you are intentionally choosing not to, in which case you are being totally ridiculous.

The only person responsible for the drink driving ank that nd any consequences are the person who choose to do it.

Do you always think that wives are responsible for keeping husbands in check?

Tinytimoteo · 23/12/2019 07:04

Any updates op?

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 23/12/2019 07:20

Thinking of you op, you're very brave and I commend you!

kevintheorangecarrot · 23/12/2019 07:21

Yes do it. When my husband has been drinking and he is about to go out to his car after we argue, I always have the phone and tell him if he starts the engine, I am calling 999. He didn't think I was serious, so I did... he soon shut it off and got out of it! You need to report him. It's other people on the road and pedestrians I'd be worried about - not him!

AmIAWeed · 23/12/2019 07:29

My husband's great friend killed himself. He was a drink driver, he also killed 2 other people in the car he crashed head-on with. It waS the anniversary of his death last week, so a week before Christmas he destroyed 2 families. His girlfriend was pregnant at the time so he never met his son.
People need to share drink driving stories to make those who think it's ok feel uncomfortable, to make them pause and think twice. If they don't reconsider and still get behind the wheel they should be reported. Our nearest pub is out the village, no path, no street lights, country road when I used to go we'd walk until I realised how many selfish fucking neighbors drink drive. I would report any of them without hesitation.
Well done op, I do hope the police caught him but please please continue to report if they didn't

puds11 · 23/12/2019 07:31

@AmIAWeed that’s awful Sad

LassoOfTruth · 23/12/2019 07:44

You have done the right thing OP, very brave too. You deserve a better partner in life! I hope this is a wake up call that will urge him to get help. Flowers

northernknickers · 23/12/2019 07:44

I am astonished that so many people voted that YABU!!!! If you were one of those people you ought to be ashamed! Serious, life-changing consequences could occur if these people carry on drinking/taking drugs tonight, then get behind a wheel 🤬

Well done OP...you made the only call there was to make...the right one. 👍

Ginfordinner · 23/12/2019 07:47

So am I Northernknickers Sad

Salene · 23/12/2019 07:53

This is a hard one but ultimately if he won't listen to you he needs to listen to someone, I hope things work out ok for you op .

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 23/12/2019 07:55

Now OP I would take your savings and leave.

Think of the example being set your child. After the first incident, I’d have been gone much less multiple times plus you mention possible drug use.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 23/12/2019 08:03

You definitely did the right thing op.

Pollyhops · 23/12/2019 08:18

You did the right thing. Well done OP

loobylou10 · 23/12/2019 08:41

Well done OP

@rp30 - fuck off.

JustDanceAddict · 23/12/2019 08:45

Well done OP. Hope you’re ok this morning.