Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

whether to report dh for drink driving right now?

260 replies

steakandmantoo · 22/12/2019 21:29

I can't even believe I'm in this predicament. DH is a bus driver, so driving is his job, what supports us.

he has came home drunk a few times, where he has drove home, and I've been angry, and warned him to not do it again.

He just popped back now to drop me some food off, and I smelt vodka, his eyes looked red, and his cousin is in the car, drunk also. He flat out denied it, and said I'm imagining things, and then he went back to his car and drove off.

I'm really worried about him killing himself and cousin, and other people. But if I report him, and the police catch him, that means his jobs gone, and we would be left broke with no income?

I just don't know what to do to make sure he never does this again.

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 22/12/2019 21:31

Report him.

He could easily kill someone.

LanguageAsAFlower · 22/12/2019 21:31

I would.

lilybetsy · 22/12/2019 21:31

You should. I know it’s super hard, but you should .... he sounds like a total knob .. while you are at it, I would make plans to leave him ...

FFSFFSFFS · 22/12/2019 21:31

I applaud you for thinking of this.

I think that you would never live yourself if he hurt himself or someone.

I would call the police.

But also look at other options for treating alcoholism.

Very good luck.

Frozenfan2019 · 22/12/2019 21:31

On balance I think you have to. But I don't envy you.

MutedUser · 22/12/2019 21:33

Innocent people could die at the hand of his drink driving. Being penniless doesn’t even come into it.

AlunWynsKnee · 22/12/2019 21:34

If he crashes (or worse) he will still be out of a job for drunk driving and you'll have the guilt too.

overnightangel · 22/12/2019 21:34

What do you decide OP

Merryoldgoat · 22/12/2019 21:37

Genuinely, this would be a relationship breaker for me.

I’d report him and then end the relationship. He’s reckless and untrustworthy - hardly good qualities for a husband.

MutedUser · 22/12/2019 21:38

Should add you are as guilty as him if he kills someone as you know and decided to put yourself first over others safety.

Original poster
steakandmantoo · 22/12/2019 21:38

I know where him and his friends are hanging about, so I think I will give an anonymous tip. They will ALL be under the influence, some may have cannabis possession too.

I have some savings, so I'm sure that will tide me and my child over anyway. I am so disgusted that he thinks they are above the law and "nothing will happen to them, everything will be fine" I think I would rather a innocent person be saved.

OP posts:
MitziK · 22/12/2019 21:45

Fuck's sake. Why do we have to endure such utter pricks in the world?

It's better for him to be unemployed and alive than the alternative, that he kills himself. Never mind if he kills somebody's children/grandmother/mother two days before Christmas.

MitziK · 22/12/2019 21:46

I'd also tell his employer so they can do spot checks on their drivers.

GladAllOver · 22/12/2019 21:49

Of course you should report him and save another family being destroyed by a drunk driver - possibly your own.

pointythings · 22/12/2019 21:50

Report him to the police. Report him to his employer. Start divorce proceedings. Eventually he's going to either kill someone or get caught, so best to act now.

halocompanach · 22/12/2019 21:50

I just don't know what to do to make sure he never does this again

Report him. He will lose his job but nobody will lose their life as a result of his utter selfishness and lack of consideration. I would seriously consider divorce in the circumstances as drink driving in so totally unacceptable to me. I wouldn't ever be able to trust somebody prepared to do that to drive ever again.

HollowTalk · 22/12/2019 21:52

He's sounds such a dick that I would report him and tell him to fuck off out of my life at the same time. Can you go to your mum's for Christmas?

Original poster
steakandmantoo · 22/12/2019 21:54

I have reported him.

I just can't even cope with the thought of him being so selfish and reckless.

OP posts:
Survivingchipandkippee · 22/12/2019 21:54

Are the all his drivers?

Chillyourbeans · 22/12/2019 21:55

Please report him. On New Years Eve 2002 a drunk driver ploughed into the car of a family friend. He killed their eldest daughter and left their baby with life changing injuries. You would never forgive yourself if your other half destroyed another family.

DinoSn0re · 22/12/2019 21:56

Definitely report him. If you need persuading, google Ben and Arron Peak. Look at the devastation that drink driving can cause, and please call the police.

Chillyourbeans · 22/12/2019 21:56

Sorry, cross posted. You have done the right and brave thing Flowers

DinoSn0re · 22/12/2019 21:57

Sorry OP, cross posted there. Well done for reporting him.

Icanflyhigh · 22/12/2019 21:57

Well done steakandmantoo, that must have been a difficult call. But you have definitely done the right thing.

MutedUser · 22/12/2019 21:57

You did the right thing. I hope your ok OP