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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

whether to report dh for drink driving right now?

260 replies

steakandmantoo · 22/12/2019 21:29

I can't even believe I'm in this predicament. DH is a bus driver, so driving is his job, what supports us.

he has came home drunk a few times, where he has drove home, and I've been angry, and warned him to not do it again.

He just popped back now to drop me some food off, and I smelt vodka, his eyes looked red, and his cousin is in the car, drunk also. He flat out denied it, and said I'm imagining things, and then he went back to his car and drove off.

I'm really worried about him killing himself and cousin, and other people. But if I report him, and the police catch him, that means his jobs gone, and we would be left broke with no income?

I just don't know what to do to make sure he never does this again.

OP posts:
JoGose · 22/12/2019 23:05

Well done op!

StudentHelp · 22/12/2019 23:06

Well done, OP. I hope you're safe if he finds out it was you?

MrsAgassi · 22/12/2019 23:07

rp30

You are wrong. Very drink driver is dangerous, their judgement is impaired. It does not mean that each and every drink driver will have an accident on each and every occasion, but it most certainly doesn't mean they're not dangerous.

Why are you intent on blaming the person that is attempting to keep both her partner and others safe rather than blaming the person that is breaking the laws and putting others at risk?

I assume your life has not been affected by a drink driver?

CoolCarrie · 22/12/2019 23:07

rp30 fuck off
Op you did a good thing, don’t doubt yourself

Bunnyfuller · 22/12/2019 23:07

Snitch=someone who reports crime.

Not such a bad thing, is it @rp30

If there were more ‘snitches’ all our lives would be immeasurably improved.
It’s not a race to the bottom, and you’re not some fucking working class hero by ‘not snitching’. We’d have less dead teenagers if there were a few more fucking snitches, or as I like to call them - responsible adults with an actual moral compass.

rp30 · 22/12/2019 23:07

This reply has been deleted

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MutedUser · 22/12/2019 23:08

RP30 regardless of wether drink drivers can do it without causing an accident. The law is zero tolerance on drink driving so breaking the law regardless.

CoolCarrie · 22/12/2019 23:09

rp30 you are wrong.

PepsiLola · 22/12/2019 23:10

I have reported RP30, as they are either a troll or a moron!

TokyoSushi · 22/12/2019 23:10

Very brave OP, well done Flowers

Wolfiefan · 22/12/2019 23:11

Well done.
Those with alcohol problems don’t magically manage to stop because they have a supportive partner. They have to eat to stop. More than anything. He doesn’t.
And he may be an alcoholic but he’s chosen to drink and drive.
A young lad not far from me ended up paraplegic after a drunk driving crash. (He wasn’t the driver.)
Drunk drivers are selfish arseholes who deserve to be caught and punished.
Take care OP. Look after you and the kids.

JKScot4 · 22/12/2019 23:11

@PepsiLola
I think RP is a drink driver themselves

Tillygetsit · 22/12/2019 23:12

Probably both.

Tillygetsit · 22/12/2019 23:12

That last comment was @PepsiLola

Bunnyfuller · 22/12/2019 23:13

@rp30

Only slightly over?! Are you for fucking real? You’re either over or not. You cannot judge if ‘You feel ok’ because alcohol impairs judgement.

There’s no excuse for drinking driving, alcoholic or not. And what should the OP being trying to work out? As you say, it is an illness, and only HE can decide to stop, she can’t persuade him. And again, no excuse for drink/drug driving.

If he’s that bad, maybe he’s drink driving at work too? quite a lot of drink drivers are picked up the next morning because they’re still well over driving to work.

ExhaustedGrinch · 22/12/2019 23:13

I think RP is a drink driver themselves Nah, probably just a cunt to be fair.

rudolfsquiffy · 22/12/2019 23:13

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MutedUser · 22/12/2019 23:15

I think someone has had a few too many tonight

Ginger1982 · 22/12/2019 23:15

"The children were not in the car, so he is only jeopardising his freedom and career - but OP has decimated this anyways."

He did that himself. Don't be such an utter goady fucking tool.

Wheresthebeach · 22/12/2019 23:15

Oh wonderful - a good woman should fix her man. Oh please. Mind you schools are out so....

Well done OP. Drink driving is dangerous and you were right to report.

rp30 · 22/12/2019 23:15

This reply has been deleted

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TryingToBeBold · 22/12/2019 23:16

What a hard decision to have made.

My DP is quite a reckless and aggressive driver and we've argued over it. I've made him pull over and swap driving. And it really worries me sometimes so I commend you for acting on it. Flowers

Branster · 22/12/2019 23:16

rp30 yes not every drink driver has an accident, but, if you’d ever seen or been close to someone directly affected by the action of a driver like this you wouldn’t be as tolerant.

OrangeCinnamon · 22/12/2019 23:16

@rp30 are you British? Your turn of phrase suggests otherwise to me. This is relevant because I guess just trying to find a way to.excuse your completely idiotic and ill thought out response to this event. Perhaps something is lost in translation?
Flowers OP well done

BackforGood · 22/12/2019 23:18

Well done OP - that can't have been easy.

The children were not in the car, so he is only jeopardising his freedom and career
Plus other drivers on the road. Plus passengers in other people's cars. Plus other pedestrians. Hmm

Really have no idea what planet you are on @rp30