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Am I being unreasonable or is she? Torn here

132 replies

groundworkmakesthepoundwork · 22/12/2019 19:51

SIL has never approved of me BF beyond 1 year and badgered me immensely when DC was approaching 1.

DC is now over 2. Just before he turned two, I was warned that she never had liked me doing it but come 2 years, it would have to stop completely in her house at least.

So that was it, at age 2, no more BF in her house. Which is fine because DS only has it in the evening/morning and if he hurts himself.

Last week, I did feed him quite a bit in her house. He was quite upset, unusually. A few days later he came down with a bug which probably explains it. Nothing was said at the time.

I've just received a text saying that I really can't carry on feeding in her house and would I please just not? It's uncomfortable. And 'I did say this before'.

Am I unreasoned to have fed him in her house despite her saying no previously? Blush

Obviously she has no right to tell me to stop altogether but since it's her house, I should do what's comfortable for her, shouldn't I?

Her DP couldn't care less and thinks she's ridiculous.

OP posts:

sophiestew · 22/12/2019 19:52

Why are you still seeing this dreadful woman at her house?

Just don't go there.


Summercamping · 22/12/2019 19:52

Just don't go to her house again


RuggerHug · 22/12/2019 19:53

'Ok, won't be over yours any more!'


mbosnz · 22/12/2019 19:54

Who the hell does she think she is?! If she doesn't want to extended breastfeed, all power to her boobies. But you do not seek to control another mother and child around this sort of thing. You keep on doing what is working for you and your child. Just don't go to the silly mare's house.


groundworkmakesthepoundwork · 22/12/2019 19:54

I would probably just phase out seeing her but I've no friends here (I live where DH lives now), so I'm very lonely without her Sad

OP posts:

StayDetermined · 22/12/2019 19:55

She’s a nutcase. Fair enough I wouldn’t go out of my way to feed there, but if DS needs it then crack on.
Always assuming you are not sitting jiggling your boobs and yelling “DS, time for bitty”


WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 22/12/2019 19:55

Stop going to her house.


Cheesybiscuits01 · 22/12/2019 19:56

I would tell her to fuck off and never visit again.


VanyaHargreeves · 22/12/2019 19:57

Dictating weirdly over another womens choices about BFing is the real problem

I would reply with :

You have never explained why you have a problem with a natural act for which those body parts were designed; body parts you yourself have. If anyone is behaving oddly here it is you.

You need to stand up to this really weird parenting And body shaming/policing.


Beccaishere · 22/12/2019 19:57

Why does she not like it? Confused obviously you must have asked her why? Do you cover yourself whilst doing it etc? Just trying to think why she finds it strange? Is she worried about her husband staring? EtcConfused


DowntonCrabby · 22/12/2019 19:57

Christ don’t go to her house. She’s fucking batshit.


Lulualla · 22/12/2019 19:58

So she didn't even want you doing it when he was 1? What's her problem?
Stop seeing her!! Make new friends!


Tombliwho · 22/12/2019 19:58

I'd rather be lonely that spending time at her house. Have some standards for yourself! Why allow someone to treat you that way? Text her right back that you won't be going round anymore.


Dontunderestimateme · 22/12/2019 20:01

No you shouldn't feed at her house, as long as she is willing to only feed her DC in a way you approve of if she comes to your house!


HisBetterHalf · 22/12/2019 20:01

If shes u comfortable can she not let you use another room? Or can she not toddle off to another room herself?


sophiestew · 22/12/2019 20:03

You have a 2 year old.

Can you try to make friends at mum and toddler groups etc? I would drop her - she really isn't your friend.


pooboobsleeprepeat · 22/12/2019 20:09

How dare she dictate what you do with your child. Tell her if that’s the case then you will no longer visit. Do you dictate what she eats? What about the cow breast milk she has in her tea.
Bin her off and get some bloody better friends!!!


Hugsgalore · 22/12/2019 20:10

I'm probably going to be flamed for this but I think it depends on how discrete you are when you do it. Let's face it a walking talking toddler is harder to be discrete with than a small baby.
I'm not uncomfortable around babies being breastfed but I am when they are bigger.


CalleighDoodle · 22/12/2019 20:11

Stop going to her house. Invite her to yours and do as you please.


FGSJoanWhatsWrongWithYou · 22/12/2019 20:12

Make friends. Put all your energy into making friends.


GlamGiraffe · 22/12/2019 20:12

Youd be much better trying to go to a baby or toddler group and making a friend or two than spending time with this crazy woman. You never know what will come out of her mouth next. I wouldn't want to be around yo find out what her next peculiar whim is. Find some friends who you have things in common with. I'm sure there must be details of mums coffee mornings detailed somewhere so you can try.


MadameButterface · 22/12/2019 20:13



We3kingsoforientareandabump · 22/12/2019 20:13

@Hugsgalore that's your issue though so you should move away.

OP you are doing amazing by giving your child what's best. Your sister has serious issues and I would rather sit in and speak to nobody at all than sit with someone that tries to control me in that way.


MadameButterface · 22/12/2019 20:13

This reply has been deleted

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Butterymuffin · 22/12/2019 20:14

Are you supposed to be at hers for Christmas? Is that why it's come up again now?

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