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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be uncomfortable around topless sunbathers?

165 replies

corgo · 22/12/2019 14:27

Went away for a bit of winter sun in a Spanish island. First day there, we were sat at a table - two middle aged women and her teenage DS and two young DC pull up loungers right near us. One woman proceeds to whip her bikini off - has been topless for hours now, walking round, up to the bar, swimming etc.

She’s the only one doing it and it’s a very family orientated resort, seems weird to do it around her teenage DS! It’s not 18-30 territory (and I’m in that bracket, not an old prude!).

Aibu to feel uncomfortable??

OP posts:
Original poster
corgo · 22/12/2019 14:28

Also - been posting on MN a while, NC :)

OP posts:
TheQueef · 22/12/2019 14:29

Yep it's you.
Go somewhere not for sunbathing.

Sammi38 · 22/12/2019 14:32

It’s perfectly normal in Spain to do this.

WaitrosesCheapestVodka · 22/12/2019 14:33

Generally I have no issue with topless sunbathing, providing it's culturally appropriate in that country (i.e. Spain yes, Morocco no!). They are just breasts and it's not like I have to look at the sunlounger next to me.

That said, in front of her DS and walking to the bar feels a bit odd. Like she's confronting people with her tits? I dunno, I feel squeamish about this. I couldn't get too worked up about it though.

june2007 · 22/12/2019 14:33

Good for, wish I had the confidence.

Original poster
corgo · 22/12/2019 14:34

Surprisingly the lady is Irish - not European, I know they’re more laissez faire with nudity

Interestingly, I think only small chested women can get away with sunbathing topless! I wear an outsize cup, I think I’d be reported for indecent exposure...

OP posts:
Wonderbag · 22/12/2019 14:34

Tabby
I feel the same as you
But do recognise it’s probably my own hang up

Wonderbag · 22/12/2019 14:35

YAnbu makes tabby in auto correct Grin

StinkyXmasCheese · 22/12/2019 14:36

I understand it but still you really need to get over it. Don't allow your children to grow up with body shame, it's just breasts, they're good for babies and that's it.

Northernsoullover · 22/12/2019 14:38

Doesn't bother me but I do think its a bit dated.

Keepmewarm · 22/12/2019 14:45

If she’s the only one doing it and you are offended then move.
I love being topless on holiday.
Men often sit topless on the beach so why can’t women?

AngelGabs · 22/12/2019 14:47

And here was me thinking Ireland was in Europe...🤔

Expressedways · 22/12/2019 14:49

Sunbathing topless is fine and perfectly normal but walking around half naked and going to the bar with her tits out is rather odd. I wouldn’t be offended or anything but I’d probably be a bit Hmm at how much of an attention seeking exhibitionist she was being. So yeah I do see where you’re coming from OP.

Caramel78 · 22/12/2019 14:50

I would feel uncomfortable but I was brought up in a family who were extremely conservative about nudity (never seen my parents even in their underwear). I sometimes wish I had been brought up in a more laidback family who didn’t make nudity so weird

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/12/2019 14:57

If she’s the only one doing it then yes, it’s a bit weird. I prefer the more laissez fair approach to nudity but in that situation- with the walking around not just lying quietly it sounds like more of a statement of disregard for everyone around her. I wouldn’t be uncomfortable so much at the nudity itself, it’s just a body, as at the lack of concern for the mores of her fellow guests.

user1497207191 · 22/12/2019 14:59

No problem with lying down, but walking around etc is just attention seeking.

Original poster
corgo · 22/12/2019 15:00

Nobody else is doing it, and she’s attracting quite a lot of ‘attention’ from a few elderly gents! I’ve moved away to a boob free zone.

I know it’s most likely my hang up, but having a pair of boobs shoved in my face when I looked up from my book was very off putting :( especially as there was SO many other places to sit...

OP posts:
NinetySixer · 22/12/2019 15:03

Wouldn’t bother me.

No different to seeing a man boobs.

I personally wouldn’t do it as I’m not comfortable with mine.

Madhatterhouse · 22/12/2019 15:11

Being topless on the beach is ok. Shoving her boobs in your face is not ok. What did you say to her when she did that?

custardbear · 22/12/2019 15:15

It's funny I almost never see this
At Resorts these days - except one with a nudist part I went to about 3-4 years ago which was full of older people ... very much avoided it after I realised the 'spa' (manky sauna and rubbish jacuzzi) wasn't quite what I expected and right in the middle of the nudist bit!

anxioussue · 22/12/2019 15:23

She should cover up when going to the bar or for a meal, so should the men when having a meal, on a sun lounger is up to her.

sonjadog · 22/12/2019 15:25

Why was she shoving her boobs in your face?

TheDarkPassenger · 22/12/2019 15:28

My mum used to sunbathe with her tits out. Mortifying. I used to walk away and go somewhere on my own!

formerbabe · 22/12/2019 15:31

I'm not bothered by the sight of topless women on the beach...but it's pretty weird to do it when your teenage DC are around.

Troels · 22/12/2019 15:31

I hope she put sunscreen on, sunburnt nips hurt like hell.