Boyfriend going on holiday with another woman
ThePriceOfSugar · 20/12/2019 02:46
I've been with my boyfriend 10 months. Everything has been fine up to now.
He asked if I wanted to go on holiday with him to a rural part of the country for hiking and sightseeing. I grew up there, have done the hiking exhaustively, and have no desire or extra money to go. I declined. He said he would go with a friend. He has 3 good male friends and lots of colleagues. I said fine.
That was a month ago. Today he mentioned that he has arranged an itinerary and booked leave to go with a "colleague" (who lives in a different country) who will be over here when he wants to go. This colleague is a woman he's met once before while he was at a conference overseas. They met in a club after hours. His friends joked with him that she was really into him. She invited him to present at her workplace in October, which he did. I thought nothing of it.
I'm shocked and angry that he booked the holiday with her. It's just the two of them, multiple overnight stays. He says she is just a colleague and he has done nothing wrong since I declined the trip and said he can go "with anyone". Obviously I didn't mean this arrangement. He claims he has "no one else" to ask and wants to share costs.
The hypocrisy of it hits me hard too because he always assumes all my male friends and colleagues want to have sex with me.
Am I being unreasonable? Isn't it normal to have this kind of boundary in a relationship?
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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ElfAndSafeKey · 20/12/2019 03:07
Since he's only met her once, and given the background, I don't think you are BU.
Shortly after I got with my partner, he went on a prearranged holiday with his (female) best friend. the BF has known him since they were 10, and it's a completely platonic relationship... but still weirded me out. (I've since come to know the friend, and 100% believe it is a genuine friendship and nothing more!)
ThePriceOfSugar · 20/12/2019 04:56
Thanks for your support everyone. I'm pretty shocked and angry about this and it's very out of character for him (or so I thought). I'm now starting to wonder what happened when he went to her country to "give a seminar" last month. He was there for 2 weeks, ostensibly holidaying on his own.
Hope I haven't been played for a fool.
ChristmasSweet · 20/12/2019 06:00
No it's not OK that he is doing this.
I'd ask him how he would feel if you went away on holiday with another man, just the two of you. He no doubt wouldn't like it. If he then continues this holiday, he is trying to either punish you or make you jealous. Dump him at that point. He's not worth it and he has big issues that will only get worse.
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