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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘That’s me done for food today’ after a 3 course lunch

350 replies

Offred2 · 19/12/2019 16:23

I went to a restaurant with four friends for a Christmas lunch a few days ago. We all ate 3 courses and had a glass of wine each (none of us are big drinkers). The portions were decent-sized but not ridiculously big.

As we were finishing one of my friends said something along the lines of ‘that was lovely, I wont be needing anything else to eat today’. Following this all my other friends nodded/agreed.

While I didn’t say anything I was thinking that this is not the case for me at all! After that lunch at 1pm I ate beans on toast at around 7pm. I think of myself as someone with a pretty normal appetite, but if my friends were being truthful I ate a substantial amount more than them that day.

I remember a few years back my MiL making a similar comment after a restaurant lunch, that she wouldn’t need to eat anything else that day. However as we happened to be staying with her at the time I know she later ate sandwich and soup at dinner time.

So - my friend’s comment got me thinking. What do people actually mean when they use this phrase? Is it literal, as in ‘after this big lunch I will not eat any food until tomorrow’? Or do people simply mean that they won’t need to have a big evening meal, but might have eg a sandwich? Or is it something some people (women!) say without meaning it, to indicate they have a small/delicate appetite, though they may have every intention of eating something else that day.

For what it’s worth all of my friends in the restaurant are healthy weights, and as far as I know no one has any history of disordered eating.

OP posts:
Original poster
Offred2 · 19/12/2019 16:25

I know mumsnet can be a hotbed of competitive proclaimed undereating, and I really don’t want this thread to focus on that. So, if you’ve read this and your first thought is something like ‘3 courses? I can’t remember the last time I managed to eat a 2 course meal!’ then this probably isn’t the thread for you...

OP posts:
OllyBJolly · 19/12/2019 16:26

If I had a three course meal in the middle of the day I wouldn't be able to eat anything else well maybe a biscuit

DustyMaiden · 19/12/2019 16:27

I said that st lunch and I meant it. Don’t mean it now.

HollowTalk · 19/12/2019 16:27

I was really surprised at work when, after a Christmas lunch, all my friends said they would cook and eat another dinner that night. Some lived alone, two were a couple and none of them had children, so it wasn't as though they all had to cook for a family. I think the best thing about going out for lunch is that you don't have to cook in the evening! I wouldn't eat a dinner, but would probably have some toast or cereal at about 8 pm.

FGSJoanWhatsWrongWithYou · 19/12/2019 16:28

I often genuinely don't feel hungry at dinner after a big lunch.

Mrsjayy · 19/12/2019 16:28

I wouldn't eat again if i ate that at lunchtime I would be full the most I would probably have is a packet of crisps in front of the telly.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 19/12/2019 16:28

I'd still eat dinner 🐷🐷

chloxox08 · 19/12/2019 16:29

I always say that after a big lunch but by that I mean "I won't be cooking anything today" as in another 'big meal'. I'd probably have a sandwich or something small Smile

adaline · 19/12/2019 16:29

I couldn't manage a three course meal without leaving leftovers Blush

Caspianberg · 19/12/2019 16:29

I would definitely each again in the evening. Something like you had, sandwich, eggs on toast, soup.

easyandy101 · 19/12/2019 16:30

Went out for a pub lunch the other day and that was thre only thing i ate all day

I can eat alot more than that in a day if i want to but i didn't feel i needed to. Some days I'll eat loads and loads

It's not normally a conscious decision, i just seem to balance intake over a few days

Fortheloveofscience · 19/12/2019 16:30

When I was younger there is no way even a massive lunch would do me for the rest of the day (nor would I claim that it did) but recently if I’ve had a big lunch then I’d actually have nothing else until the next morning. So it’s not always a lie...

Havaina · 19/12/2019 16:30

Or is it something some people (women!) say without meaning it, to indicate they have a small/delicate appetite, though they may have every intention of eating something else that day.

It's this. It's competitive non-eating, they mean it, and I've only seen women do it.

I bet you they all had dinner or supper later.

SpoonBlender · 19/12/2019 16:30

Varies, largely on carb count at lunch. Big pile of veg and a meat, I'll have a reasonable size dinner; add roasties to that lunch and I'll likely have a late sandwich.

PhilomenaChristmasPie · 19/12/2019 16:31

I'll say it because if I ate that I wouldn't be able to eat anything at supper time. I generally have 2 big meals a day.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 19/12/2019 16:31

I think most people do eat again after a big lunch. They just don’t count it as eating because it not a ‘meal’.

Nquartz · 19/12/2019 16:31

We recently had a three course plus bread lunch, I still felt full by bedtime.

Had a buffet type lunch today at work & feeling stuffed now but ill definitely eat something later, probably toast.

So that doesn't really help does it Grin

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 19/12/2019 16:32

What do people actually mean when they use this phrase? Is it literal, as in ‘after this big lunch I will not eat any food until tomorrow’?

Yes. If I said such a thing I would mean it literally.

Which is not to say I might not change my mind and have a snack at 10pm but I'd mean it at the time of saying it and most likely wouldn't want anything else that day.

I don't think being stuffed after a three course meal is competitive under eating or evidence of disordered eating.

Tiredmum100 · 19/12/2019 16:32

I think sometimes it's said to not look like a greedy pig. I went out for lunch today but I'm planning on cheees and crackers later and said as much to my friend.

Craftycorvid · 19/12/2019 16:32

Hm! Yes, I get you, OP. My appetite has genuinely changed with age. When I was younger a three-course meal in the middle of the day would leave me a bit ‘pogged’ but not unable to attack dinner later. Nowadays, if I know I’m eating a substantial meal in the evening I most likely won’t eat in the day. Three courses in the middle of the day definitely would mean no more than a cuppa and a biscuit later - at most. Some of this is probably natural and age-related, but some of it is also knowing I need to be pretty disciplined in order to stay a reasonable weight (having fought the good fight with my weight all my adult life).

EmbarrassingMama · 19/12/2019 16:32

I’d definitely be having something in the evening. Something light you understand, like a pizza or kebab.

Kidding (kinda), I would totally manage beans on toast or cereal.

AppleKatie · 19/12/2019 16:32

Or is it something some people (women!) say without meaning it, to indicate they have a small/delicate appetite, though they may have every intention of eating something else that day.

This. Whether or not they actually eat again later depends entirely on them and will vary. But the ‘I won’t eat again’ is public guilt from consuming in front of other people.

My MIL is like this- except she’d only order 2 courses and eat half of literally everyone else’s desserts

Women. Socialisation is a bitch huh!

snowball28 · 19/12/2019 16:33

Well I could smash a 3 course meal and beans on toast easily ha! Maybe I’m just a pig 🐷😂

elliejjtiny · 19/12/2019 16:33

I think a lot of people say that and think they mean it but by teatime they are hungry again

DaphneFanshaw · 19/12/2019 16:33

Sometimes I will eat again, sometimes I won't. It just depends how hungry I get.
I never make irrational promises about food though.