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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘That’s me done for food today’ after a 3 course lunch

350 replies

Offred2 · 19/12/2019 16:23

I went to a restaurant with four friends for a Christmas lunch a few days ago. We all ate 3 courses and had a glass of wine each (none of us are big drinkers). The portions were decent-sized but not ridiculously big.

As we were finishing one of my friends said something along the lines of ‘that was lovely, I wont be needing anything else to eat today’. Following this all my other friends nodded/agreed.

While I didn’t say anything I was thinking that this is not the case for me at all! After that lunch at 1pm I ate beans on toast at around 7pm. I think of myself as someone with a pretty normal appetite, but if my friends were being truthful I ate a substantial amount more than them that day.

I remember a few years back my MiL making a similar comment after a restaurant lunch, that she wouldn’t need to eat anything else that day. However as we happened to be staying with her at the time I know she later ate sandwich and soup at dinner time.

So - my friend’s comment got me thinking. What do people actually mean when they use this phrase? Is it literal, as in ‘after this big lunch I will not eat any food until tomorrow’? Or do people simply mean that they won’t need to have a big evening meal, but might have eg a sandwich? Or is it something some people (women!) say without meaning it, to indicate they have a small/delicate appetite, though they may have every intention of eating something else that day.

For what it’s worth all of my friends in the restaurant are healthy weights, and as far as I know no one has any history of disordered eating.

OP posts:
Piglet89 · 19/12/2019 17:37

Yep I won’t need anything else to eat after a large lunch like that. Won’t eat anything until breakfast the next day.

LoadOfBaubles · 19/12/2019 17:37

Depends on the size and type of meal and how I feel. After a good sized Sunday roast at about 2pm I won’t eat again for the day. Or if I eat something very carb heavy and bloating like pizza.

Perid0t · 19/12/2019 17:37

Everyone is different. My friend only eats lunch or dinner each day, never both. I personally eat 3 meals a day plus snacks most days. We both weigh the same and we are both healthy

flirtygirl · 19/12/2019 17:37

Sleepyreindeer, strange that you would believe them if they are slim. Some bigger people do eat less than some slimmer people, it's metabolism, genetics etc.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 19/12/2019 17:37

I doubt I would eat again after a 3 course lunch. I'm not actually sure I could eat 3 courses actually - I tend to go for either starter or dessert. I'm definitely not competitively under eating though!

Original poster
Offred2 · 19/12/2019 17:37

Lots of interesting perspectives!

To clarify a couple of things - my friend who made the comment did not say it in a boastful or showing off way, more in a matter-of-fact way. And the reason I noticed it was precisely because this group are not competitive undereating types types, or at least I didn’t think they were!

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 19/12/2019 17:37

Oo I HATE it when people make stupid remarks like this

I usually don't eat after lunch - not a stealth boast or stupid remark, just a fact.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 19/12/2019 17:39

I would have something later as eating a lot makes me hungrier! I’m always more hungry on a Monday than any other day of the week because I eat more at weekends. Slightly off topic but I hate the fact that a particular friend of mine likes to food shame me when we go out for dinner, comments such as “I can’t believe you ate all of that, I can’t manage mine because I’m stuffed” etc etc, it makes me feel self conscious and feel like I should leave some food to stop the comments, I do wonder if she would say it if I was overweight but I am slim and for some reason this seems to give people a free pass to comment on my food choices if I’m not tucking into a pile of lettuce.

Sharonthetotallyinsane · 19/12/2019 17:39

I had a three course lunch today! Have eaten an apple and some biscuits since and planning on a stir fry later. I feel it ever so slightly sucks the joy out of the meal when people say they won’t need anything else. Not sure why that is.

Littlebean0506 · 19/12/2019 17:40

When I have a big lunch such as a roast which will be the case on Christmas day and the days surrounding it (seeing family for lots of Christmases) I'll just have a small snack type tea such as toast or a sandwich however my partner proberly wouldn't eat again apart from maybe a few biscuit and then he always moans the next morning about how hungry he is

kmammamalto · 19/12/2019 17:41

Omg!! My PIL always bloody say this! It's so annoying! I think it's like for them a Catholic guilt thing, like I've enjoyed myself so much now I must suffer 🤣
It deffo winds me up a bit as I panic I'm not getting fed again ! And last them they stayed with us and said it they then ate more than I did in the evening! I'm so glad to see it's not.just me that's noticed

Bluerussian · 19/12/2019 17:42

You can feel so full up after a good lunch that you think you won't want anything else later but usually do. It's supposed to be healthier to have your main meal at lunch time and a lighter supper but that doesn't happen often when you're at work.

beautifulstranger101 · 19/12/2019 17:42

If I had three course meal at 1pm, I wouldn't eat anything for the rest of the day. I'm not bragging about having a "small" appetite at all but if I had a starter, main and dessert, I would feel really full.

I can eat a lot in one sitting but I despise feeling really full because it makes me feel lethargic and sleepy. I do have low blood pressure so maybe thats why (people with low BP tend to feel exhausted after eating a large meal). I hate feeling so sluggish and I wouldn't feel hungry after a 3 course meal until the next day.

Original poster
Offred2 · 19/12/2019 17:44

Also to clarify, I didn’t feel remotely guilty about my beans on toast later! I’m confident that what I eat seems to balance out enough for me to maintain a healthy weight so no guilt there.

OP posts:
TheDarkPassenger · 19/12/2019 17:44

I wouldn’t say it, but I’d be thinking it. I had a two course lunch yesterday and didn’t eat a single thing for the rest of the day. I’m used to rice or fasting for lunch though. It’s okay to have a small appetite and it’s okay to have a bigger one, I don’t think there’s any normal really.

Disclaimer though: I’ve lived with an eating disorder so even when I’m ‘well’ I don’t have a huge appetite and I don’t think I ever will, my stomach can’t handle it

Sunflower20 · 19/12/2019 17:45

Some people say things that they don’t mean. It’s just casual chat.

Squirrelblanket · 19/12/2019 17:46

Based on the type of people I know who would make this kind of comment, it's definitely competitive undereating.

Also, I don't know why anyone would think anyone else is interested in what they are planning to eat or not later in the day. It's so dull, the only reason they'd mention it is to Make A Point.

VanyaHargreeves · 19/12/2019 17:47

@MyFamilyAndOtherAnimals1

There's another spoken word one I love called Dear Man On The Bus. So powerful. Not relevant to this thread though.

billy1966 · 19/12/2019 17:48

I am nice size and healthy. It would depend.
Might have toast and beens later, soup.

What I absolutely know now that I am 55 is that women who are 8-10 do not eat very much.

I know, I know, massive generalisation.

But as a very slim, woman who only really put a bit of weight on in my 40's ...I know that to keep very trim...you just don't eat...or at the very least, very small portions... little or no carbs...very little sugar etc.

I know many women like this an am in awe of their discipline.
I carry a little weight but am a fit size 12 versus's a very very slim 8-10.

As you get older, being skinny does you NO favours.

Funnily enough I don't any women who admit to being very disciplined. Usually they are cross for having eaten sugar!

RoyalCorgi · 19/12/2019 17:48

If I had a big three course meal at lunchtime, I wouldn't eat more than a piece of toast or a tangerine later on.

Moominfan · 19/12/2019 17:49

I would but I am fatty

Juliette20 · 19/12/2019 17:51

I only feel like I can't eat later if I've really stuffed myself, and I don't tend to do that these days. If I'm having a three course meal I choose balanced options so will usually just feel nicely full. And usually don't have dessert as I prefer starters. So yes, I will want to eat a light meal later.

I'm good at saving my appetite for a big meal and not eating much before, but once I've eaten I'll digest it and want more at some point.

ElluesPichulobu · 19/12/2019 17:54

after a big lunch I will say that I don't want to eat anything ever again. in reality I will have something small and snacky and probably mostly vegetable based at about 9pm. probably some carrot sticks and houmous and a few cherry tomatoes. but not a lot.

firawla · 19/12/2019 17:55

I would probably eat again later tbh, not a huge meal but definitely something even if it was just cereal. I go to bed late so by that time I’ll be hungry despite a big lunch

My parents say this kind of thing, moreso as they’ve got older. But they’ll even say it about the kids, after not a particularly huge lunch. When dinner time comes around and the kids want something they are like “what, eating again after all the lunch?!” Baffles me, because yes surely it’s common knowledge that most people eat 3x a day and don’t need to skip meals especially children

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/12/2019 17:56

Since when was soup/bread, a sandwich, eggs on toast, etc. not a 'full meal'? Calorie-wise it probably could be depending on how large a sandwich...? Grin

I think some people just love to talk about how little food they eat and how much everybody else does.

‘That’s me done for food today’ after a 3 course lunch
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