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Original poster

Boyfriend cheating.. just found out..

871 replies

Beebeezed · 18/12/2019 21:19

Omg, I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend has gone out on a work do. I kept hearing a pinging coming from his office so I went in to mute whatever device it was and it was his iPad. Went to mute it and saw the message ‘can’t wait babe’ on the home screen. Obviously I opened it and have now found hundreds of messages between him and another girl. No idea who she is. Haven’t even looked into that yet. Just read the messages. He says he loves her. I have an 8 month old baby I feel sick please what shall I do from here? He’s just text me saying he misses me and I can see on the iPad he’s text her saying he misses her

OP posts:
gromberry · 18/12/2019 21:55

OP i am so sorry, I know a bit of what you are feeling. My ex left me and our 5 week old DD a year and a half ago, and we were together 12 years. 99.97% of men are absolute dog shit, I'm sure of it.

I agree with a PP above, text him and tell him you've been sick and you are both going to stay at your mums because you need the help. You need time to formulate a strategy, and a plan for how you want to handle the situation.

One thing I can promise you is that you are so much stronger than you realise. I am 18 months down the line now, and every day I love my daughter more, and hurt a little less. Sending you strength and solidarity xoxo

Morgan12 · 18/12/2019 21:55

Is her number there? Have you tried searching the number on fb or putting it into your WhatsApp?

I'm glad your mum is coming over Flowers

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/12/2019 21:55

Bloody hell OP what a thing to find!

Glad your mum is coming over. Can you and the baby go back to hers tonight?

tequilasunrises · 18/12/2019 21:55

My heart goes out to you OP. Not the same as we didn’t have children but my ex partner cheated and got another woman pregnant so I know that sick, shocked and hurt feeling all too well. You poor, poor thing.

Agree with others to take as many screen shots as you can and note the phone number and name as well, just in case he deletes and denies.

Can you and DS go and stay with your mum for tonight?

shouldhavecalleditoatabix · 18/12/2019 21:56

I know I've posted a couple of times but I just feel I cannot express enough that you need to think very carefully before confronting him tonight, especially if he's been drinking. It will not be a pretty confrontation and with a young baby in the house and the absolute fear he will feel when he realises you know, it's a recipe for disaster. Please whatever you decide, wait for him to be sober and preferably have the baby with someone else. People when cornered and panicking can do awful things.

ivykaty44 · 18/12/2019 21:56

Let your mum help you tonight, she’ll look after your best interests

CakeandCustard28 · 18/12/2019 21:56

Go stay at your mums and take the iPad. Don’t leave a note for him either. So sorry your going through this OP Flowers

BumbleBeee69 · 18/12/2019 21:57

Jesus OP I'm so so sorry... what a disgusting prick. Flowers

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 18/12/2019 21:57

I hope you're with your mum now and getting some real life help.

He's a bastard.

I hope his world falls apart, I'm so so sorry for you

cookingonwine · 18/12/2019 21:57

Just text him and say I know .... and leave with the baby ... make him hurt like you are.

NotStayingIn · 18/12/2019 21:58

Hope you are with your mom now OP. What an absolute shit he is. Hope you are ok.

Niki93 · 18/12/2019 22:00

‘I know what I'd do. I'd pack a bag, take the baby and go back to your Mum's, taking his iPad, and turning your mobile off. And I wouldn't leave a note.’

I second this. Get out the way to your mums. Dont inform him. Get some head space, let him stew, see how he reacts and the confront him from then on. Personally, as heartbreaking as it is, i think these things are red flags that damage your trust going forward. Its hard and awful but you and baby deserve better! What a bellend x

Raphael34 · 18/12/2019 22:00

What a piece of shit. And it’s been going on for so long!

iamkahleesi · 18/12/2019 22:00

I'm so sorry that's just awful. Don't be embarrassed this is all on him, not you. I'm glad your mums coming round. I'd pack up a few things and go and stay at your mums for a while if I were you, and I wouldn't tell him that I was going. Let him stew when he gets home and realises you're not there.

I know it feels like your whole world is falling apart right now, but you will be ok.

Scotmummy1216 · 18/12/2019 22:00

Im so sorry pack a bag for him, people like that never change. I know you love him but a serious betrayal like that will be very hard to get over. Call a close relative/friend for support, you have nothing to embarassed for this is on him. So sorry xx

FizzyGreenWater · 18/12/2019 22:00

Yes I wouldn't confront him tonight.

I'd pack a few days worth of things and take yourself, baby and ipad to your mum's.

namechange4052 · 18/12/2019 22:01

I don't see why the OP should leave. That could make it more difficult practically in the future. He should leave.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 18/12/2019 22:01

You poor thing. What an utter bastard.

But, please don't confront him tonight. Take the advice to leave, with your baby. Him drunk and you in shock is not good.

Sending you Flowers and a hug.

Figgygal · 18/12/2019 22:01

What a total shit head
I'd leave confronting him until morning

iamkahleesi · 18/12/2019 22:01

And yes, take the ipad with you

Original poster
Beebeezed · 18/12/2019 22:01

I’m with my mum and I’ve told her everything. I’m so thankful for all of you. I will come back when I’ve come to a decision.
I’m so thankful you’ve all taken time out of your nights to talk to me.

OP posts:
elmosducks · 18/12/2019 22:01

What a twat. So sorry OP

Jayaywhynot · 18/12/2019 22:02

Good luck, set your mum on him Flowers

ivykaty44 · 18/12/2019 22:02

Take good care of yourself & let your mum do the same

Isbutteracarb · 18/12/2019 22:03

What an absolute prick, so sorry this is happening to you Thanks agree with op - take baby and head to your mum's, and let him come home to a dark empty house. What a bastard.

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