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AIBU?

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Boyfriend cheating.. just found out..

871 replies

Beebeezed · 18/12/2019 21:19

Omg, I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend has gone out on a work do. I kept hearing a pinging coming from his office so I went in to mute whatever device it was and it was his iPad. Went to mute it and saw the message ‘can’t wait babe’ on the home screen. Obviously I opened it and have now found hundreds of messages between him and another girl. No idea who she is. Haven’t even looked into that yet. Just read the messages. He says he loves her. I have an 8 month old baby I feel sick please what shall I do from here? He’s just text me saying he misses me and I can see on the iPad he’s text her saying he misses her

OP posts:
Pollyhops · 30/12/2019 16:09

They just get worse!

Tistheseason17 · 30/12/2019 16:20

They are both vile and you have remained classy, OP.

So glad you have your mum with you for support.

XJerseyGirlX · 30/12/2019 16:26

Write back saying you've no time to meet her as she is only 1 of the 3 woman he has been sleeping with recently. Suggest she has an STD test then re-block.

Taddda · 30/12/2019 16:32

@XJerseyGirlX I definitely would have been tempted to text back 'which ones this?'!!

But on this occasion I think op's 'give them nothing' approach is far better-

midsomermurderess · 30/12/2019 16:34

pauline 😀

ActualHornist · 30/12/2019 16:38

Wowzers. That message is something else.

How stupid do they both think you are? If it were me I would have sent a scathing response so I’m glad you’re more restrained than me Wink.

You’ve honestly been so strong, it’s ok to have a wobble sometimes.

LinaDee · 30/12/2019 16:43

1 of 3?!?! Is there another one?

GertiMJN · 30/12/2019 16:44

That text was the best thing for you - even if it did't feel like it.

She has proved that she is a liar so you need waste no energy giving her a second's thought.

The additional information about her coming to your home, cements the evidence that your ex is shit of the highest order.

You on the other hand have conducted yourself in an exemplary manner.

I am so glad you have such strong real life support. Keep along the path you have started. You will have a wonderful relationship with your DC and will go on to make a new and happy life without that cheating arse. Flowers

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 30/12/2019 16:45

You've done the right thing. Both of them and their 'antics' are now part of your past. You're looking forward to your future. And it's going to be a good one.

MsMoodyMare · 30/12/2019 17:41

I love XjerseygirlX response!

holidayhelpp · 30/12/2019 19:48

Argh they’re both disgusting. You’re amazing.

Celebritydave · 30/12/2019 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WizardOfAus · 31/12/2019 18:24

How you doing, OP?

Alicia870 · 31/12/2019 21:29

OP, having been heartbroken and desperate before in my life, I hope you feel the strength in this army of women behind you here. Nothing but complete and unanimous support and well wishes coming your way.

Hope you are looking forward to a fresh new start and remember you have us all in your corner!

MissPepper8 · 01/01/2020 17:05

I've got no words after your last update, in your home and own bed. Just gets even worse :(

Admire your strength after that text from her, I probably would of forwarded it to him to call him out on his bullshit, and just doing that while you had a 3 month old while you were away too.

She's only messaging you op to make herself feel better about it all, she knew and I doubt he'd want you both swapping stories so she's gone after you number herself.

Flowers
Yellowcakestand · 02/01/2020 11:21

Am I the only one wondering if this other child is his?

Well done on being strong OP xx

nobodylikesacockwomble · 03/01/2020 20:28

He is an absolute shit op, and she is no better. You on the other hand are incredible, you might think you're not strong but you have been so dignified through all of this and if you ever feel like you're having a wobble please know there are hundreds of women on here supporting you 100%!

Your little boy is so lucky to have an amazing mum like you! xx

StayClassySally · 03/01/2020 20:55

I'm shocked she would lie to you so blatantly and slip in that she was in your house just to push the knife in a little more. Why would you ever want to meet her?

Thewomeninthemirror · 04/01/2020 18:54

You are amazing. I wish I had an ounce of your strength and dignity!

Beebeezed · 04/01/2020 19:22

Hello all of you lovely people!!
I actually feel slightly embarrassed at how nice you’re all being to me. I don’t take compliments well in real life and clearly I don’t online either. 😂 your support has been so helpful to me. Thank you ❤️
@paulinespeaksmanylanguages that made me cry!! Thank you!!

Things are going well.
Ex has turned up to my parents a couple of times, he was becoming frustrated with my lack of contact towards him. He cried his eyes out when he saw my dad when he answered the door. He‘s seen my mum a few times as she is doing the handover with DS. He had a very good relationship with my family - he would often pop in and see my parents if he was passing even without me. The first time he turned up, I actually wasn’t in I but my dad told him how disappointed he is in him etc. I know this would have hurt my ex. He respects my dad very much. They play golf together, they’ve even been on a couple of stag do’s together!
The second time he turned up, I answered the door. DS was sleeping. He looks rough. He’s lost weight. Due to the times he’s turned up (middle of the day during the week) I don’t think he’s at work at the moment. His work only closes from 25th-26th December and then again New Year’s Day.
I asked him to leave and to respect my space. I said a lot about how this was all his doing, he should have thought about this before having sex with someone else. It was all very matter of fact, no shouting and... I DIDN’T CRY!! 😱 I was sooooo pleased that I didn’t give him that. I cried my eyes out as soon as I closed the door but I held it together before that, thank god!!
We are meeting next week to discuss the house going on the market and logistics with DS going forward. I know this sounds so lame and some of you may eye roll but we’re meeting Wednesday and I have booked into have a load of different beauty treatments on Tuesday 😂 I just want to look and feel my best, firstly for me to give me some confidence but yes, a huge part of me wants to make him realise what he’s missing. That may be pathetic, but hey.

Nothing more from OW. She’s blocked and I’ve deleted all social media, so she can’t get in contact with me.
Oh, all clean back from the sexual health clinic, thank goodness!

Every day I’m feeling a bit better. I’ve lost weight, (which I needed to lose), I’m seeing friends, I’m being busy with DS and I’m getting into a good routine. I think I’m going to stay at my parents for a year or so, even once the house sells to get a bit more money behind me and then buy a home for me and DS. Plus, my mum will be my source of childcare when I go back to work so it makes sense logistically.

Again, thank you. You have all helped me during the worst time of my life. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and the best 2020 ☺️ Xxx

OP posts:
Amys136 · 04/01/2020 19:27

You sound like you’re doing amazing! Such a good role model for your son xx

nevisbump · 04/01/2020 19:29

You are amazing and onwards and upwards, he doesn't deserve you. As for the beauty treatments , you don't need to justify them. Enjoy being pampered

nespressowoo · 04/01/2020 19:39

Absolutely marvellous, OP. You are amazing, and what a lucky boy your son is having such a strong mum. All the best for 2020 - you are incredible. You've handled this so well, very dignified. Your ex has lost out big time, you deserve someone better, sounds like he has been punching above his weight! Take care of yourselves - your parents sound lovely too Thanks

2018SoFarSoGreat · 04/01/2020 19:44

@Beebeezed what a great update. You remain a hero among (scorned) women.

I totally get why you are making the best of yourself for the meeting Wednesday. For you. It will make you feel good. Frankly, what he thinks is irrelevant, but it does put you at an advantage.

You sound like you have well thought out the next steps. Well done. Keep moving forward.

FraglesRock · 04/01/2020 19:56

Well done, all sounds great. Good luck on Wednesday

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