Boyfriend cheating.. just found out..

[Beebeezed]

Omg, I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend has gone out on a work do. I kept hearing a pinging coming from his office so I went in to mute whatever device it was and it was his iPad. Went to mute it and saw the message ‘can’t wait babe’ on the home screen. Obviously I opened it and have now found hundreds of messages between him and another girl. No idea who she is. Haven’t even looked into that yet. Just read the messages. He says he loves her. I have an 8 month old baby I feel sick please what shall I do from here? He’s just text me saying he misses me and I can see on the iPad he’s text her saying he misses her

Just remember the image of the sweaty, stinking, drunken mess that you left if you have any qualms about leaving. You have done the right thing for both you and your child. Stay strong, accept the love and support of friends and family. This is his failure, not yours and do not ever forget or doubt that.

Well done op.

Read up a bit on attachment theory if you want something to take your mind off things and give you some useful explanations to him as to why he will NOT be taking your baby away anywhere/overnight etc - contact yes, super important, taking him away from his primary carer - bad for the baby and bad for (ultimately) the father-son bond. Little babies need to be with their primary carers (that's you) so that they can develop the secure attachment that will let them learn how to bond with other people (espeically dad) in a positive way. Him taking the baby away when he's so young won't help them bond, it will hinder it as the baby will become stressed. He sees the baby little and often and there is no question of any 'rights' - it's what's in your baby's interest.

Oh, and I’ve got all the screenshots and the OW number. Searched her number on WhatsApp, she’s pretty. - ? Not on the inside, she's not!

OP - I read this last night and felt so sad for you. I just want to say how amazing you are. Strong and dignified. Your hopefully now Ex-DP will realise this one day. Wanker. Hope you manage to enjoy your DS first Christmas with your own family

@Jakkipu my comment was in response to you writing "any decent landlord will allow you to change the locks in those circumstances" which is categorically incorrect as a landlord cannot grant permission to change locks when there are joint tenants. Your advice, whilst well meaning, just flags potential issues to a landlord - joint tenancy, joint rent payments and a potential fall out.

Hope you're ok OP

I've read this whole thread and my heart breaks for you. You have acted with dignity and shown unbelieveable strength and courage. Continue putting your baby first, including starting a claim with CMS to ensure that regardless of his behaviour he contributes for them. How you have been so level headed is beyond me and I wish I could give you a big hug.

Well done op, you've acted a lot more dignified then I would've done. He would be trying to shit out that iPad for the next week if that were my dh.
Sorry your boyfriend is such a fucking arsehole

Please leave him op, you’re doing so well

Definitely take pics of the messages so he can't make them disappear. So sorry, it's so crushing, but just take things day by day. Remember always that this is a failing on his part, HIS character flaw, and you couldn't have done anything to change this happening. Just think of all the beautiful people whose other halves cheat. People who are beautiful on the outside or the inside or both can be involved with a cheater, they hide that flaw of theirs well. You deserve a partner who is as loyal and committed to you as you are to them. Focus on yourself and your baby, you guys are the most important part your life.

@FizzyGreenWater
Always listen to fizzy ♥️

Hope you are doing okay

This happened to me although my ex left me for ow when ds was one. I'm happily married for 5 year been with dh for 9years with another 2 dc, never looked back op. Never look back only forward

What an awful shock OP.
So glad you are with your mum.
Cry when you want.
Sleep if you can.
Eat if you can.
No knee-jerk reactions.
Block him for now or hand the phone over to your mum.
I'm sending huge (((((HUGS))))) to you.

Hope you're ok x

Hope you are ok OP x

What an awful situation for you - I hope you're ok and settling in at your mums house - don't let him weedle his way back into your life he's a dirtbag

Well done OP. I've just read this thread start to finish and am in awe of your composure. Take care of yourself xx

Hope you are okay OP.

Also hoping you're ok OP. Brutal way to find out but at least there's no doubt. Sounds like you have a great mum. Wishing you all the best over that next few weeks. It's gonna be tough but once a cheater, always a cheater. Stay strong. Giving you a very unmumsnetty kiss x

You handled it alot better than i would! You did it perfectly though which is probably very hard with how you must be feeling. You deserve better!! Hugs & hope youre ok x

You handled this amazingly!! I hope you and your little one is ok.

Ur an inspiration op! X

Just a simple for u x

your a superstar.never ever give him a moents of you time again.you dont need his explanations.he can see his son but please.this man has screwed you on every level.you deserve better.so hard to see now and with it all mingled with the life you had.but he made that life a lie.
this is his fault.this is on him.he is in the wrong and he fucked it up.and you my dear have been gracious and strong and brave beyond words.you deserve to be treasured.and happiness

I can't believe the amount of strength you managed to muster to sit there and watch his drunk arse climb up those stairs and not to react in anyway other than complete class- in total awe of you OP.

Take some solace in knowing that now the cats out of the bag many 'other women' run a mile- she'll have to answer the 'you've been having an affair with the man who's just had a baby with his partner of 11 years!?' to her family/friends etc who will correctly label him as a complete shit..and her as a home wrecker...that's for them to deal with!

You on the other hand have well and truly earnt yourself the title of a brave, strong and truly admirable lady- given the circumstances I dont think many could have dealt with that situation any better.

I hope you have a lovely first Christmas with your little one, stay close to your mum as she sounds like a rock.

Keep strong x