Boyfriend cheating.. just found out..

[Beebeezed]

Omg, I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend has gone out on a work do. I kept hearing a pinging coming from his office so I went in to mute whatever device it was and it was his iPad. Went to mute it and saw the message ‘can’t wait babe’ on the home screen. Obviously I opened it and have now found hundreds of messages between him and another girl. No idea who she is. Haven’t even looked into that yet. Just read the messages. He says he loves her. I have an 8 month old baby I feel sick please what shall I do from here? He’s just text me saying he misses me and I can see on the iPad he’s text her saying he misses her

You've done well OP.

I would have nailed the IPad to his head : (

This is the first post that has ever reduced me to tears. How so terribly sad. There are cheaters that get drunk and do something silly, and maybe those are ones that can be worked through.
But a proper affair, with someone lying, pretending, sneaking around and especially whilst his partner is pregnant and then with a new baby is so horrific and disgusting. That could never be overcome

Well done for keeping calm. So glad you have your mum for support. You’ll go through the stages of grief as you mourn for what was, what “seemed” to be your life, your future hopes and dreams that now no longer exist, but with support you will get through these incredibly difficult times
{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}

Beebeezed please don't don't follow @Jakkipu* advice if you are renting. You can't change the locks without LL's permission and if you are joint tenants, they can't consent to that, obviously

Phoning 111 won’t help either.

Don’t be surprised if when you hear from him is him minimising everything and blaming you. It’s classic. Look up the cheaters script.

What a fantastically strong women you are Op. I wouldn’t of been able to control my self as well as you. I’m glad you’re with your mum and manage to get some rest x

You've done the right thing. Try and get some rest for a bit

Stay strong

OP really glad to read your update. Well done. You are strong and you can do this.

I'm 5 years post a similar situation. It gets better.. I am happier now than I have ever been.

Has he come around yet and noticed you’ve gone?
I’m still absolutely livid and heartbroken for you. This is one of the only posts that’s ever bothered me into ‘real life’. He’s a cruel prick. And to find out at Christmas?
You are so much better without him OP.

I'm so sorry he's destroyed your family OP, you and baby deserve so so much more than this. You will be ok though, it will take time and pain but you will come out the other side.

Well done for leaving with your Mum OP. I'm so so sorry that this has happened to you, no one deserves this kind of treatment when you have a new baby.

Please keep us updated. Sending virtual hugs

Advice on this thread is great.
You’ve handled this so well and with so much dignity. I’m so so glad you have such an amazing mum to support you. All I can offer is a lot of hugs and that eventually you will heal. It’s a long process and like most grief you might get the odd wave now and again thinking of how things might have been and should have been.
Don’t go back though, once the trust is gone it’s too much.
Hope you’ve managed to get some sleep. Xx

I hope you're having some much needed sleep OP.

You dealt with this in such a dignified manner.

Honestly you have me teared up with pride with how dignified you have been. Sending flowers at an awful time!!

@frillyfarmer
My advice was to contact the landlord for permission. Not sure how you got that from my post....

Also, if he's kicking off how will 111 Not help? She's a vulnerable woman right now and if she feels threatened she should absolutely contact 111!

Stay away from him. You are so much better off without him. You won't see that now. Been in your situation best thing you can do. I am so happy now didn't realise how unhappy I was.
You will never trust him and he will probably do it again. Not worth all the stress for you. Stay away. otherwise you will have a bad time forever not just for this short period.

So shit OP.
Is the house rented or in his name? He should be the one to leave but I guess being with your mum is the best thing for you and your son right now.
It’ll be interesting to see what he says about it, luckily you took the advise from people and have taken screen shots of the messages... I would have been inclined to take the pad with me and keep and eye and just leave printed copies of the messages but I suppose it’s not always as easy to do (I don’t have a printer at home so couldn’t)

Thrown away 11 years and a family for what?? So stupid. He’ll probably say it’s because you were distant in pregnancy and try and turn the blame around.
I hope he suffers with his hangover

@Jakkipu, 111 can’t help because they are the NHS Direct line and although can diagnose your illness and possibly send an ambulance sadly won’t send police.

I am so sorry OP. I think you have been amazing and dignified, much more so than I would have been. Dont think about him, you just concentrate on you and your baby now, he doesn't deserve a moments thought.

You'll look back on this one day as one of your best decisions.

@GoodBoyPeachGoodBoy oh goodness did that make me laugh!

@ElGuardiandenoche ffs 😂😂😂

111 can’t help because they are the NHS Direct line and although can diagnose your illness and possibly send an ambulance sadly won’t send police

This tickled me a bit.. Plus 111 will only offer advice unless you're having a serious emergency such as a heart attack or stroke.

I will say that I don't think it's a good idea to get landlord involved, I think id move out and stay with parents for a while. We don't know ops financial situation and she'll need all the support she can get without him banging on the door and causing trouble.

Sorry you found out like this.stay strong.