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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your biggest parenting fails to make me feel better about mine today

321 replies

GlummyMcGlummerson · 18/12/2019 14:52

I feel so guilty I could vomit. I’ve been sobbing all day (I know, I need to get a grip).

Taking DS (2) to nursery, as usual I put my handbag on the passenger seat of my car (which has the keyless entry and a stop/start button rather than an ignition) then strapped him in behind the passenger seat. Then, as usual, shut his door to walk round to the drivers’ side. This has never been an issue - it’s easier than keeping hold of my key in my hand while I strap a wriggling toddler into a car seat - but today for some reason the car locked itself. Long story short, the fire brigade had to come out and smash a window. DS has been in the car for about 20 minutes at his point and was seriously distressed. He’s fine now, but I’m a mess. I wouldn’t usually call emergency service BTW I did initially call the AA but they said up to 60 minutes and they couldn’t get hold of the nearest mechanic. There’s no way I was letting him stay there for so long.

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away Sad in the meantime I have ordered a spare key (at £235, thank god for Christmas bonus) and a new car window comes Friday (Merry arsing Christmas to me)

In the vain hope of me feeling less shit please regale me with anything similar you’ve done, please say it’s not just me!

OP posts:
DancingPyjamas · 18/12/2019 23:04

Where to start? So many.
I remember when my first born was crawling. I was doing the housework and he was crawling around.
I went into the lounge he had disappeared and the front door was open ( terrace type house ) I hadn't latched it on correctly. I shot outside to see him crawling as fast as he could across the road!
I can honestly say I have never ever been as terrified as I was at that moment, nor have I ever moved so quick.
I had cold sweats about that for years.
I made sure the door was always locked and the key out of sight after that.
Your mum sounds awful OP.

Couchbettato · 18/12/2019 23:08

I put toothpaste on my son's bum instead of bepanthen. 🤷🏼

Spacebowlisback · 18/12/2019 23:16

@DancingPyjamas That is awful! You poor poor woman! And thank god.

ViaSacra · 18/12/2019 23:28

@DancingPyjamas

That is one of the most terrifying things I have ever read!

user1471562482 · 18/12/2019 23:30

My Dad shut my thumb in the car door when I was a small. I can't remember it hurting but I remember his face going a sort of grey colour (shock?). My brother drank meths from the camping supplies when little (also on Dad's watch). We survived. No visits from social services. DH forgot to engage the pushchair brake once. Child and buggy faceplanted into the brambles at the bottom of the yard. DH didn't make child wear helmet on scooter. Another faceplant incident. Perhaps your Mum could get SS round to ours? She sounds a bit OTT, no need for her to make you feel bad, you've duffed yourself up more than enough.

Mypathtriedtokillme · 18/12/2019 23:33

Everyone makes mistakes and it was an accident that everyone would of laughed at you for if you’d only locked just your keys in the car. Easily done.

Not my parenting fail but...

DH was playing with dd (almost 3) on the trampoline and was standing on the ground being a monster bouncing the mat with his hands. She was running back and forth squealing and giggling.
But then Dd double bounced and broke her leg just below the knee and was in a toe to thigh cast for 8 weeks. (It happened on holiday, in a foreign country (seeing my mum) while I was 27 weeks pregnant...)

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 18/12/2019 23:40

DH worked Mon-Fri in NI when DC were young, every Monday morning i dropped him off at station at 7am and left DC left at home with older sibling who was early twenties by then. One morning we got to station and suddenly remembered adult DS had stayed over friends previous night.
We only live 3 miles from station but it felt like 300 miles on the way back, i rushed through front door to find them all still sound asleep in their beds.

JoGose · 18/12/2019 23:40

God I’ve done loads, I was once carrying DD1 out of the car and didn’t realise how big she was and smashed her head right into a wall and cracked her head open.

Also DD1, I was getting shopping from the car boot. DD was helping me and I went to shut the boot door and didn’t realise how close she was stood and closed it on her head. I’ve never seen blood like it.

DS1, we were at a park with a hill. I misjudged how steep it was and let him go down it on his scooter. He fell off and cut a big chunk out of his leg.

DD2, I was carrying her from the living room to the kitchen and slipt and smashed her head off the floor

DrivingMsCrazy · 19/12/2019 00:05

No judgement here OP I can completely see how that could happen and you did the right thing. Your Mum can take a running jump.

Am rather judging edwinbear tho - Competitive Mum Syndrome much? How horrible for your poor ill child.

Gruffalo45 · 19/12/2019 00:45

This isnt anything to do with social services.

But I work in schools and you would be horrified at what doesn't meet social service's threshold these days because they're so overstretched. Heartbreaking.

managedmis · 19/12/2019 00:55

It's really not that bad. I get it, I'd have been the same, but he's 2, not a newborn. At least the fire brigade came so quick!

cormorantyes · 19/12/2019 00:58

I was so overwhelmed with a sudden surge of love for Dd when she was around 8 I bit her cheekBlush. hard enough there were teeth marks for about an hour (no bruises thank god). She still remembers 10 years later. I really don't know what came over me other than the feeling of "oh I could just eat you up"

PiggyInTheMiddle19 · 19/12/2019 01:03

My neighbour did this twice! 1st time managed to ring her dad to bring the spare key.
2nd her spare key was in her locked up house. Her mobile was in the car with the keys.
It was in that heatwave.
Luckily 8t was early and car shaded.. I kept toddler entertained running round car playing peekaboo.
She got a ladder from and neighbour who was asleep from a night shift to climb up to top windows to get keys.. Was. About 30 min all tolled.

FreshStart01 · 19/12/2019 01:03

JoGose I'm really not sure why I'm laughing so much... probably because it makes me feel bettet about all my epic fails.

Didn't move cot base down to lowest level and DD1 not yet crawling/standing pulled herself over and fell out onto her head.

Used to sit them as toddlers on kitchen worktop while I cooked as couldn't cope with them winging round my ankles. DD2 fell forward onto tiled floor, nose bled for quite a while.

There were others. At least OP's caused no physical damage, definitely not neglectful.

PiggyInTheMiddle19 · 19/12/2019 01:10

For dd we had just the car seat for a while then decided to get isofix. My mum kept saying you need to strap the seat in. So I explained the isofix u didn't you just click it in
Anyway a week or so later we'd finished shopping and I sorted pram mum put dd in drove home. Went to get dd out and I said omg mum you didn't strap her in.. Cue her being shirty saying well. You said not to!. Yes mum I meant the seat to base. U still need to harness dd in.
From then on in always checked behind her and everyone If they put her in.
I'd been down a 50mph Rd with her not harnessed in.. Always makes me feel sick

Pixxie7 · 19/12/2019 01:13

Your mum is being a bitch. This isn’t bad parenting it was an accident you did the best you could in very difficult circumstances. Don’t beat yourself up these things happen. Forgive yourself.

FreshStart01 · 19/12/2019 01:15

Oh and one of my DD1's first words was an expletive after I swore when a plate slipped out of my hand while emptying the dishwasher and smashed. I spent the rest of the day saying 'yes, DUCK, quack, quack' desperate for her to say that instead when Daddy got home!

SkiingIsHeaven · 19/12/2019 01:19

According to my daughter I am the reason she needs counselling so I guess I fail as a parent.

I dislike her boyfriend which is why I am so terrible, in case you were wondering.

Fouroutoffour · 19/12/2019 01:23

Just remembered: when my aunt was a toddler she drank from a pop bottle, which my grandad had filled with petroleum (or something similarly toxic) Aunt is in her sixties now, but my grandad still winces when he tells of how they had to call an ambulance and she had her stomach pumpedShock

eaglejulesk · 19/12/2019 03:07

You aren't the first, and won't be the last to do this. No harm done.
Please don't beat yourself up, and ignore your mother's comment. She sounds rather unkind actually.

Joannea78 · 19/12/2019 04:51

I did the exact same when my daughter was 2 or 3. Firemen were so nice. Calmed me down and gave kiddo a teddy bear. Social services has real problems to deal with. They aren't going to show up at your house. Unless you are drunk, which clearly you were not or you would of been arrested! So you are fine mama! My daughter has teddy still and some memory of it happening. She still loves to tell the story. It was an adventure. Your kiddo got to meet real firemen! Put a fun spin on it. Make it a memory you both look back and laugh at. No harm was done. You are fine! Social services good grief.

TheAirbender · 19/12/2019 05:01

I did this once except I live in Dubai and it was 45c outside. It’s horrendous but it happens, you took the right actions to ensure his safety, he’ll never remember and all ended well. Be kind to yourself and have a lovely Christmas x

Mypathtriedtokillme · 19/12/2019 05:42

I have walked through doorways carrying a baby many times a day but with both of our kids I have accidentally bashed their head into the doorframe.

I have loaded up the toddler into the double pram but left the baby at home when sleep deprived and wondered what the oldest was wailing about. (I’ve also several times walked out gone to the shops and left the front door wide open without even the screen door shut)

christmasathome · 19/12/2019 05:56

Your mum is an arse and should never have told you such a thing. It an accident and could happen quite easily.

In 12 years of parenting I've made many mistakes. The first that comes to mind i made with both children. We had a changing table and both children as babies managed to wriggle off it while i had turned to get clean nappies from behind me 😳 you would think I would have learned after DS did it but I didn't.

lotusbell · 19/12/2019 05:57

Was once getting ready to take my son, now 12 down to my parents so I could go to work and they could take him to nursery. We lived on a main road. My cottage had 2 steps up to a shared pathway and ever so slightly uphill. No gate at bottom.of path, pretty busy road. As I was locking the door, pram rolled down the path, managed to bounce down the steps without upturning and came to a halt in the middle of the road. Luckily I flew down the path and onto the pavement and grabbed him.back, there was nothing coming and he was none the wiser. I felt sick about it for days!