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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your biggest parenting fails to make me feel better about mine today

321 replies

GlummyMcGlummerson · 18/12/2019 14:52

I feel so guilty I could vomit. I’ve been sobbing all day (I know, I need to get a grip).

Taking DS (2) to nursery, as usual I put my handbag on the passenger seat of my car (which has the keyless entry and a stop/start button rather than an ignition) then strapped him in behind the passenger seat. Then, as usual, shut his door to walk round to the drivers’ side. This has never been an issue - it’s easier than keeping hold of my key in my hand while I strap a wriggling toddler into a car seat - but today for some reason the car locked itself. Long story short, the fire brigade had to come out and smash a window. DS has been in the car for about 20 minutes at his point and was seriously distressed. He’s fine now, but I’m a mess. I wouldn’t usually call emergency service BTW I did initially call the AA but they said up to 60 minutes and they couldn’t get hold of the nearest mechanic. There’s no way I was letting him stay there for so long.

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away Sad in the meantime I have ordered a spare key (at £235, thank god for Christmas bonus) and a new car window comes Friday (Merry arsing Christmas to me)

In the vain hope of me feeling less shit please regale me with anything similar you’ve done, please say it’s not just me!

OP posts:
Sp3849 · 19/12/2019 06:17

I know exactly how you feel and my mum said the same thing..........
My husband was working away and I had just finished work in returning home my mother in law says I have locked the front door I will go outback door don't forget too lock it. So just under 2 year old son is asleep on sofa and I think right I will run bag of rubbish too bin which is at end of garden. Come back and cannot open back door. Horrified I look through window and son is awake with keys and has locked the pissing door (he had a massive key fetish) I run too next door frantic as my toddler is alone in a locked house and get the spare front door key and my mil had left keys in other side of front door when she locked it. I phoned my parents crying they lived 40 minutes away. Fair play too my dad he got there in half that time and we had too smash a double glazed window too get in. In hindsight I should have phoned fire service but like you my mother informed me they would tell social services. I was so scared of this I waited for my dad. I still have not lived it down. Felt guilt for ages. But my son was unscathed and he can't even remember it xx

Stayinyourfridge · 19/12/2019 06:18

Sent ds (5) to school on the school bus dressed as a Christmas Tree - turns out the school play was the following week and everyone else turned up in uniform. He had to spend the whole day at school like that!

We still laugh about to now.

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/12/2019 06:20

Stop telling her things, I’m sure the threshold for removing a child will be higher than being locked in a car for 20 minutes.

schoolsoutforever · 19/12/2019 06:34

Daughter - grabbed a nearby tiny item whilst being changed and popped it into mouth, started choking, had to get her up and back slep, item popped out.
Then various other accidents that were my fault - fell off o spinny thing at the park (I was spinning too fast) about 2yo, fell off monkey bars (L had let her go to show her husband she could do it (she couldn't).
Son tumbled head first down the stairs, bounced all the way Down, not a scratch on him.
The list goes on but you get the picture... It amazes me that anyone let me keep them but no zero involvement from any agencies and no major injuries. They are now 12 and 9 nd I'm still making mistakes daily.

Landlubber2019 · 19/12/2019 06:45

I locked my keys in the boot of the car when taking my kids to school, I was in a public car park with both kids locked in the car.....

Luckily I got the eldest to unbuckle himself and climb into the boot passing my handbag through a window dc had opened!!!

BecYat · 19/12/2019 07:03

Hello! Don't worry! I did the same, only I let my son play with the keys as he loved doing it (the stupid prize goes to..) and he pressed the lock button while I was outside sorting his bag for nursery. I kinda fell apart while am incredible nursery lady actually managed to get him to open it by miming at him like a game (I think he was not even two). I was also thinking I'd have to call fire brigade! I think it must happen a lot! Now he's seven and it's just funny to look back on to be honest. Don't sweat and at least your child was relatively safe.

LizzyButton · 19/12/2019 07:04

Rushed out in my PJs to put a bin out that I had forgotten one morning and as the door closed behind me... well you get the picture.

A passing early morning runner worked out what had happened and showed me how easy it is (for him at least) to break into a home.

Nishky · 19/12/2019 07:08

I knocked my 2 year old child over with the car door at nursery as I was rushing to get to work. Spent five minutes on the phone wailing to dh ‘what sort of mother am In

Said child is 18 and appears relatively fine

DancingPyjamas · 19/12/2019 07:16

I've just remembered, it's not just me who does calamity parenting.
When my youngest was around 3 months old my mum looked after her for the day.
When she was driving home with my daughter in her car seat, she had an accident on a bend and wrote her car off.
Initially she said she swerved going into her driveway to miss the cat.
In later years she admitted that she hadn't strapped my daughters car seat in and it had slid as she went round the bend. She grabbed the seat in a panic and lost control of the car.
She still jokingly blames my daughter for the accident.
Fortunately neither of them were injured, however, my mum knew that if she had owned up to what really happened at the time she would potentially have needed an ambulance for injuries sustained if she had.
I've decided to report both of us to the SS! 😳

Nishky · 19/12/2019 07:26

Oh yes I have just remembered the car seat, youngest child was about 4 months, it was an old fashioned car seat where you threaded the seat belt through clips. I didn’t notice it was bunched up and as we went round a corner it tipped and the 3 year old leant out of their seat to hold it up 😳

Sportinggirl · 19/12/2019 07:36

Your mum's over reacting, it was an accident.. My Dd2 is a nightmare, so far she has unlocked the front door and walked 3 houses down before I noticed the door open, jumped down 6 stairs (climbs over stair gates) eats butter, and two nights ago she decided to stick her head in the fire while was lighting it.. I have already went through two child minders because she's such a handful.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 19/12/2019 07:38

When child number 3 was a newborn, I was taking all the DC out in the car. Strapped the bigger two in to their seats. DS was already in his as carried him in it to car. Forgot to put him in the car😱 and drove off without him, leaving him on the pavement. Thank goodness there was traffic lights at the end of our road and thank goodness for the lovely lady who has been walking past and ran after me like Usain Bolt! Have never forgotten that feeling but it is now a funny memory as ultimately no harm done.
Don’t be hard on yourself, we have all had those brain fog moments.

XXXXXX42 · 19/12/2019 07:46

I dropped baby DD out of her sling at soft play when reaching over to pick up her cousin, dropped her down the stairs, banged her head on the door frame, let her roll off the sofa.... I wasn’t great at keeping a baby safe. She’s 8 now and shows no ill effects!

ValidEnough · 19/12/2019 07:48

Years ago my daughter locked me out of the house. She was about 3. She had just figured out the locks (no key needed). I popped outside and she locked the door behind me. I had to leave her and drive to my mum who had a spare key! My neighbour stayed and talked through the letterbox at her while I was gone. The whole fiasco lasted about 15mins but felt like hours. I cried for ages too!

hannah1992 · 19/12/2019 08:12

We have a yale lock on our back door. Front door always locked. When dd1 was 6 and dd2 was 1 I went to put the washing on the line. Never thought to flick the yale so it didnt lock. Anyway dd1 decided it would be funny to shut the door. I'm stood there going dd1 go to the front door and turn the key please. Of course the keys werent in the door they're on the hook on the wall right at the top of the front door. Obv she couldn't reach them. Cue panic mode. My bedroom window was open and I had flashes of one of the kids falling out of it (castrophising at its best).

Next door had a window cleaner (luckily) that heard the commotion and asked what was wrong. I told him and he came round with his ladders and went through the bedroom window and unlocked the door.

1 year old didnt have a clue what was going on. Dd1 thought it was rather funny.

Neither worse for wear.

Oh and tell your mum that social services have more pressing things to worry about but feel free to call them as they could probably do with a laugh

MustardScreams · 19/12/2019 08:17

@FreshStart01 one of dd’s first words was ‘shit’ after I dropped a stock pot on my bare foot. Even worse, my mum and grandma were looking after her for me for the day, and she said it when she dropped a bit of toast on the floor. Haven’t lived that one down yet! Blush

Traynorbird · 19/12/2019 08:17

Accidentally pressed yabu - sorry! Let me tell you the story I always think of when I do a parenting fuck up. It's about my grandma, who in 1950 something had 3 little kids and was probably pregnant. She goes out with the biggest one on reins tied to the pram and the one year old and the baby in the pram. The one year old screaming it's head off as usual (apparently my aunty Mary was always crying), and she's thinking, I wish that bloody baby would calm down and stop crying. All the way to the shops and back the baby is crying. She gets home and has a look at her and the nappy pin is poked through the poor thing's belly.
My grandma was a legend, she had six kids in the end & gave them all 3 hot meals a day. My aunty Mary is also brilliant and doesn't seem to be scarred by it.
We all fuck up - at least you didn't stick a pin in him!!

Danni12 · 19/12/2019 08:19

What your mum said to you though!!! Completely uncalled for and completely untrue!! Ignore what she said, we've all done parenting fails Flowers

May84 · 19/12/2019 08:24

Your mum sounds horrible 😑 Social services are way too busy to go around taking kids away everytime someone has an accident!
I once forgot to do the stairgste and went to the loo downstairs- my daughter fell down them and we had to take her to A+E (she was fine). I'm a nurse but I panicked and phoned my husband in hysterics!
It happens! Don't beat yourself up.

RossPoldarksWife · 19/12/2019 08:25

I left my newborn daughter outside the chemist, days of silver cross prams, got half way home and realised something was missing!!
She was still there fast asleep, felt awful for days.
We laugh about it now.
Your mums comment is awful. 💐

May84 · 19/12/2019 08:29

I just remembered another one...I used a toothbrush to clean our windows as they get moldy round the edges. Left it on the mantelpiece in water to soak.
Husband picks it up, and assumes it's a new one, and brushes our then 1 year olds teeth with it 🤮🤮

christma5 · 19/12/2019 08:45

Oh bless you. I think it was a car fail rather than a parenting one. My cars keyless entry too and it shouldn't lock if the key is inside the car. I do have a spare but would only be useful if I was still at home.
Also I'v lost count the number of times mine have accidentally hit their heads, have been known to have a little cry.

Spacebowlisback · 19/12/2019 09:39

🙋‍♀️ Naked toddler emerging from next door’s garden.

Spacebowlisback · 19/12/2019 09:39

@May84 Just out of interest, how’s their immune system?

girky73 · 19/12/2019 09:39

Please dont feel guilty. I did pretty much the same thing. I only ever had one key to my car. I put them on the dashboard whilst strapping the ds in the back, my mother then shut the passenger door (three door car) hence locking child in. I had a micra and for some bizarre reason they automatically lock themselves if you don't start car within a couple of minutes! It was one of the hottest days of the year, Green Flag said TWO AND A HALF HOURS despite circumstances. So I called my local garage who came and opened it in about twenty mins, they didn't even charge me! I did take them a big box of biscuits! Of course I was seething at my mother but hey it was alright in the end. And my ds didnt have a clue what the fuss was about!