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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu!? Neighbour parking issue!

265 replies

itsalwaysunny · 17/12/2019 21:59

Need abit of insight as I'm stressing out tonight after yet another incident with our neighbours. Have lived here 4 years it's my grandads house so have grown up in it, now I live here with my partner and children, our neighbours have two cars and us one. Their drive is for one but just about fits 2 cars, but only because we purposefully park as close as is physically possible without hitting our house to accommodate them. They asked us to do this on the very day we moved in we agreed and have done so ever since.

Lately though the parking has been a big issue, for example one instance I was getting out of a taxi mid day after work a few weeks ago and it was parked on our driveway to help me unload my shopping, literally for two mins if that, next door neighbours arrive home and immediately get out and tell me to move they need to park. OK that's fine I say even though I'm abit annoyed, taxi moves his car and parks away from our house and then I go over and get my shopping out from the car now parked at the top of the cul de sac.

A few other times my mum has been dropping us off home ( me and kids) and she refuses to wait for us to park and get out instead forces us to go out of our way and let her pass before we park.

Last week when my in laws were dropping my children off in the evening after having them after school they parked directly behind us whilst dropping them at the door, they weren't coming in and had left their car door open so it was obvious they werent stopping, next door neighbour came home and had to wait a minute, because of the way they have been in the past and because we could see her waiting we asked my father in law just to move the car to let her in, he did and when she got out he said to her apologies for blocking you in etc and she just replied telling him there are many other places to park and to not block her in again, he just said OK and got back in the car.

Finally tonight my parents were in a similar situation dropping my children off after having them after school, they parked just behind our car and proceeded to bring the children to us waiting at the door, next door neighbour came out of the house and said to my mum 'wouldn't it be annoying if I had to go somewhere really quickly and I couldn't because you were blocking me in.' She then stood there and watched as my parents dropped the kids off then just went back in when they left?!

Am I being unreasonable to think she's blowing a huge insignificant issue wildly out of proportion?! I would like to add every single week without fail their gardener parks outside our drive blocking us in and we have to tell them to move when we need to go out, it's not a problem we just ask and they move, the same things happen when their parents drop their children off and park across the drive ways blocking us in and we have to wait a few mins to park etc I wouldn't ever dream of being so passive aggressive and being so rude to my neighbours family. It just seems like such a stupid thing to be so obsessed about and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them, constantly conscious of parking too close (within our boundary) so it might be too much of a squeeze for them and yet she doesn't care about us, that it might be annoying to wait 2 more extra minutes in your car whilst my children are dropped off but I'm sure there are more important things in the world!? Also when she says there are plenty of other places to park, by that she means at the very top of our road, which, as you can imagine when it's in the evening and cold or raining I would much rather my children be dropped off as close to my house as possible even if it means her waiting for an extra minute, we do that for them and other neighbours and I really don't mind!!

Sorry for the long post I'm just getting worked up and stressed out about thisSadConfused

OP posts:
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Decidewhattobeandgobeit · 18/12/2019 08:45

They are complaining when your parents park on your property? Are they mad!?

meredithgrey1 · 18/12/2019 08:46

This is crazy. From your OP I assumed you were parking far over to allow them two cars widthways, not to allow them to drive out over your drive! Everyone else who has two cars parked lengthways on a driveway manages to just move the cars when necessary to allow the front car out, what makes your neighbours think they're so special??

MissingMySleep · 18/12/2019 09:00

definitely dont mention in writing any previous agreements. You don't need to tell them anything. Just park as you wish.

Merryoldgoat · 18/12/2019 09:04

Just adding my voice to the legions - WTF are you thinking?

No more accommodating their bonkers behaviour.

I’d just start parking to suit myself and when they had the audacity to knock I’d just tell them ‘we’re not doing that anymore. A fence is planned too’ and tell them to bugger off.

I also thank god I have two sets of lovely neighbours, one of whom is currently doing some building work for me.

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 18/12/2019 09:05

This thread will not end well for op as unfortunately this situation cannot be resolved happily.
I’ve had horrible bully neighbours myself ( parking)- unfortunately the kind of people who behave this way will not be reasoned with.
I’m so sorry for you op.

OldEvilOwl · 18/12/2019 09:07

I would be ready when they complain next time. Say something like 'this is our drive, I do not have to allow you access over it, and will use it how I like' then park your car in the middle of the drive from then on

billybagpuss · 18/12/2019 09:07

Also when it comes time to replace your car, go for a really big one.

IdleBet · 18/12/2019 09:10

Bloodyhell OP you even move guests off your own drive when they tell you toShock

Total wet lettuce.

I'd have just laughed and told them to piss off.

vivapuff · 18/12/2019 09:18

So you in a taxi, your mom and you PIL have all moved off your drive, at an inconvenience to yourselves, to let them pass? Is no one in your family capable of saying, "it'll only be a minute"?

The car closest to the house constantly coming and going while the other is parked?

You consistently let their gardener park on your drive? While they are at home mid-week (presumably both cars on drive)?

This stretches credibility.

SafferUpNorth · 18/12/2019 09:21

Wow, just wow.... this is the most stunning case of CFery I've ever read about on AIBU. Fascinated to hear what OP decides (borrowing second car, plant pots, wall, fence, bollards?), so am shamelessly placemarking on this thread.
If it was me, I'd put an end to this ridiculousness immediately by inviting my visitors to park on my drive behind me, or borrowing a friend's car to do so.
The moment they complain, I'd politely explain I'm perfectly within my rights to park another car on my own drive (as they do) and sorry, the 'arrangement' that allows them to exit over my drive no longer suits me. I'd like to use my drive as I'm entitled to do. If they are unclear about that, a boundary fence / bollards will follow. Done.

Hadenoughofitall441 · 18/12/2019 09:27

I say you’ve been accommodating enough, I’d just be like you’ll have to wait one sec, let me finish what I’m doing. Especially if they are using part of your drive. Sounds like right assholes. You need to put your foot down.

fedup21 · 18/12/2019 09:28

Is the OP ever coming back...?!

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 18/12/2019 09:31

Is the OP ever coming back...?!

Some people sleep at night.

christma5 · 18/12/2019 10:11

Fence! You're doing them a favour and they're being very ungrateful and rude so your favour stops. You moved the taxi for them, they got a taste of power so will just keep doing it.

Lindy2 · 18/12/2019 10:23

What if you had 2 cars? Would they not expect you to park both on your 2 car driveway?

It's your drive you are entitled to park wherever you want on it and have as many cars on it as you can fit.

Wilmalovescake · 18/12/2019 11:27

This is bonkers. Do you know anyone who could park a car on your drive for a while so you then park behind them and use your full drive? You’ve got to break this cycle.

Inertia · 18/12/2019 11:32

If you are keeping your drive clear so your neighbours can drive in and out over your driveway , this is insanity.

I wonder whether they are trying to establish a permanent right of way or access over your drive? It's very foolish of you and your grandfather to allow this situation to continue. I would definitely be installing a fence as a matter of urgency.

CoraPirbright · 18/12/2019 11:52

They are nasty bullies- rude, cheeky & aggressive. Stop being such a pushover!! Jassy’s message & Trixie’s rather nice little fence will sort the problem.

It will really piss them off but who the fuck cares, the wankers!🤷🏻‍♀️

Howyiz · 18/12/2019 12:38

I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone, let alone multiple people are so wet that they would allow a neighbour to dictate how they use their own land!

KnifeAngel · 18/12/2019 12:42

Wow OP how have you put up with this so long? You need to take a stand now and don't let them drive on your property again. They are cheeky beyond belief telling you to move off your own driveway.

whiteroseredrose · 18/12/2019 12:55

I'd start by parking your car further down your driveway. If they need to get out point out that they can move their own car!

GinDaddy · 18/12/2019 14:14

@whiteroseredrose has the solution for sure - park in a position where they can't drive over yours, and then that's your cue to explain why this arrangement is no longer valid.

vassdal · 18/12/2019 14:17

I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone, let alone multiple people are so wet that they would allow a neighbour to dictate how they use their own land!

I don't think they are wet. I think the situation creeps up on them slowly and then it is quite hard to assert themselves.
Eg. They move in - the neighbour comes around and asks them politely if they can park a bit further over so they can get their car out. OP doesn't think it's a big deal, wants to be neighbourly, is generally a nice helpful person.
Over time the cheeky fuckers take advantage more and more until it gets ridiculous. Each time something happens with the neighbours, the OP thinks it's only this one time. But over time it gets out of hand. The neighbours have a very assertive bordering on aggressive manner. OP is a nice person, doesn't like conflict etc. Then the fear of it escalating starts to creep in...
If you've had this situation before you recognize it more quickly and put your foot down sooner.

But now it has definitely gone too far so now is the time to say, right neighbour, that's it. I'm putting a fence up because this situation doesn't work for me any more.
Neighbour can fuck off.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/12/2019 14:53

Omg. Def don’t park so close to your house

It’s your drive

A little chained/picket fence Would soon stop their cheekiness

Ocomeocomeimaginaryfleas · 18/12/2019 15:38

As a pp has said, park your car further away from the house so they can't manoeuvre over your drive. They know they have no right to use your drive, they've just got into the habit. If you can't put in a fence, you could try some concrete filled tubs along the boundary.

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