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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu!? Neighbour parking issue!

265 replies

itsalwaysunny · 17/12/2019 21:59

Need abit of insight as I'm stressing out tonight after yet another incident with our neighbours. Have lived here 4 years it's my grandads house so have grown up in it, now I live here with my partner and children, our neighbours have two cars and us one. Their drive is for one but just about fits 2 cars, but only because we purposefully park as close as is physically possible without hitting our house to accommodate them. They asked us to do this on the very day we moved in we agreed and have done so ever since.

Lately though the parking has been a big issue, for example one instance I was getting out of a taxi mid day after work a few weeks ago and it was parked on our driveway to help me unload my shopping, literally for two mins if that, next door neighbours arrive home and immediately get out and tell me to move they need to park. OK that's fine I say even though I'm abit annoyed, taxi moves his car and parks away from our house and then I go over and get my shopping out from the car now parked at the top of the cul de sac.

A few other times my mum has been dropping us off home ( me and kids) and she refuses to wait for us to park and get out instead forces us to go out of our way and let her pass before we park.

Last week when my in laws were dropping my children off in the evening after having them after school they parked directly behind us whilst dropping them at the door, they weren't coming in and had left their car door open so it was obvious they werent stopping, next door neighbour came home and had to wait a minute, because of the way they have been in the past and because we could see her waiting we asked my father in law just to move the car to let her in, he did and when she got out he said to her apologies for blocking you in etc and she just replied telling him there are many other places to park and to not block her in again, he just said OK and got back in the car.

Finally tonight my parents were in a similar situation dropping my children off after having them after school, they parked just behind our car and proceeded to bring the children to us waiting at the door, next door neighbour came out of the house and said to my mum 'wouldn't it be annoying if I had to go somewhere really quickly and I couldn't because you were blocking me in.' She then stood there and watched as my parents dropped the kids off then just went back in when they left?!

Am I being unreasonable to think she's blowing a huge insignificant issue wildly out of proportion?! I would like to add every single week without fail their gardener parks outside our drive blocking us in and we have to tell them to move when we need to go out, it's not a problem we just ask and they move, the same things happen when their parents drop their children off and park across the drive ways blocking us in and we have to wait a few mins to park etc I wouldn't ever dream of being so passive aggressive and being so rude to my neighbours family. It just seems like such a stupid thing to be so obsessed about and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them, constantly conscious of parking too close (within our boundary) so it might be too much of a squeeze for them and yet she doesn't care about us, that it might be annoying to wait 2 more extra minutes in your car whilst my children are dropped off but I'm sure there are more important things in the world!? Also when she says there are plenty of other places to park, by that she means at the very top of our road, which, as you can imagine when it's in the evening and cold or raining I would much rather my children be dropped off as close to my house as possible even if it means her waiting for an extra minute, we do that for them and other neighbours and I really don't mind!!

Sorry for the long post I'm just getting worked up and stressed out about thisSadConfused

OP posts:
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JassyRadlett · 18/12/2019 00:11

What everyone else has said, and when they complain:

‘We’ve been very accommodating of your problems with your drive by allowing you to use ours. Unfortunately we haven’t received the same in return, and you increasingly seem to regard our drive as your property, so it’s best we stop the current arrangement.’

Jux · 18/12/2019 00:36

Oh yes, please stop accommodating these CFs. They are actine as if they have a right to that bit of your drive. Make it clear that they don't.

Jux · 18/12/2019 00:38

You could put a line of penguin bollards down the boundary of your drive (oh please do this!)

NoProblem123 · 18/12/2019 00:41

Unbelievable CFery going on - have they been to Mexico recently?

Park where you like on your own drive and make sure your visitors do to.

SinglePringle · 18/12/2019 00:49

I’d build a wall of which Trump would be proud. And I fucking hate Trump.

HannaYeah · 18/12/2019 00:53

My mother had a similar issue and let it go for years. Huge mistake.

Them complaining while your parents are dropping off your children, expecting them to park up the street and walk is a safety issue.

I would tell them that you’ll use your own driveway how you see fit going forward and they won’t complain or else you’ll put up a fence.

Smelborp · 18/12/2019 01:03

Absolutely get a fence up ASAP before they have a legal right of way over your land. Why on earth didn’t you just laugh at them when they told you to move from your own driveway?!

wombat1a · 18/12/2019 01:18

Bang some posts in the ground asap to stop them from driving over your drive. When they complain tell them that a fence is coming as soon as you can get it sorted. With posts you should (and they) be able to still open car doors but they will stop them from driving over your land.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 18/12/2019 01:19

We had this exact problem with our ex-neighbours. They didn't ask, they just drove over our drive exactly as yours do, & they got angry if we were using our drive & they couldn't use it. Note that we didn't block their drive & they could use their own drive as much as they wanted, but that wasn't enough for them.

We were reluctant to put up a fence because the drives are narrow (though it would cause them more problems than us) & because there are pipes etc under the drive. But they pushed it too far & we decided to put in a removable fence using this sort of thing...

www.diy.com/departments/panacea-triple-arch-finial-fence-panel-w-1-21-m-h-0-91m/1677231_BQ.prd

... screwed into railway sleepers. Heavy enough that they couldn't move it out of the way, didn't disturb the tarmac, no danger to the pipes underneath & could be removed if no longer needed.

HanginWithMyGnomies · 18/12/2019 03:36

Oh my days @itsalwaysunny you are crazy! What are you doing.. no, no, no.. the cheeky mare can move her second car and reverse off her own drive. I can’t get over how absurdly cheeky this is!

Imagine someone at work telling you that you can only use half of your desk because it’s more convient for them to acces their own desk if you do so? Even though they can access it perfectly well if they just walked around your desk.. would you allow that? Bless you for being so kind, but NO! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Juliette20 · 18/12/2019 04:22

Tell them they will have to learn to move their car nearest the road, then the other car, like everyone else in the world who has two cars parked on a drive.

Blahblahblah12345 · 18/12/2019 04:40

They are CF tell them to do one

pictish · 18/12/2019 05:15

I would say exactly what Jassy said down there. Tell them!

They are cheeky bastards!

Beautiful3 · 18/12/2019 05:54

I cannot believe you've let them bully you into sharing your drive?! Get a wall put up. Use your drive as intended. Tell them no more parking on your drive.

MerryDeath · 18/12/2019 05:58

enforce your boundary OP. get your deeds, get some fencing.

custardbear · 18/12/2019 06:07

Bloody hell so you park like thst so the inside car can cross your driveway?! That's mental!
We are currently in a rental and we do drive over next doors driveway in this very situation BUT I only ever do it at 6:30am when I leave for swimming and I know they can't see me - I keep thinking 'oh god I'm such a CF entitled neighbour' this was before they had a car but have recently got one and now My DH parks on the road at night and I have the driveway

Your neighbours should FO - don't let them bully you! Tell them enough is enough, you've been told by your landlord that they're no longer permitted to drive across your driveway (pretty sure if they do that long enough legally they're able to claim some ownership ... other MNers will have better knowledge than me though...

TheQueef · 18/12/2019 06:10

Good save Trixie
OP you need a fence. A frippy one or a robust one, ensure you can open car doors if space is tight.
Also install some bollards or at least leave packaging visible so they know you are prepared for war.

SillyMoomin · 18/12/2019 06:24

Good god op

Echoing everyone else here

Maybe the first job you do in 2020 a fence. And then let us know how it goes Wink

MotorwayDiva · 18/12/2019 06:30

We used to have similar drive way they are a pain, but we never thought to use neighbours drive rather than shifting own cars (actually I was to lazy to move cars about and used which was at the end). Tell them to jog on. No need for a fence just yet, park further down drive.

AJPTaylor · 18/12/2019 06:36

Omg. Never have I seen a more valid yanbu.

DesertOrchid558 · 18/12/2019 07:00

What if you got a second car? Would you be 'allowed' by your clearly horrendous neighbours to park on your drive or would they expect you to leave your car at the end of the cul de sac?
Seriously you need to take a stance on this now they are walking all over you. Good luck & keep us posted this is an interesting topic.

SureTry · 18/12/2019 07:05

Are you and your DP mad? Why have you allowed this? Put a fence, wall, barbed wire whatever you want up and put an end to it.

TidyDancer · 18/12/2019 07:12

Oh this has made me so angry on your behalf. Fence needs to go in, and in the short term you need to start parking as you want to and ignore their complaints. They do not have the right to go over your drive and their rude unreasonableness has killed off any goodwill here.

lifeisgoodagain · 18/12/2019 07:12

So they drive over your drive to get out??? I would be putting up a boundary fence, they sound a nightmare ... I rather I would send a calm letter outlining that their gardener blocks you in, that you are entitled to park behind your own car on your drive and they are not to traverse you driveway to access theirs or their gardener use your drive thenceforth, if this is broken you will be erected a fence. I also wouldn't park as close to the garage!

MsJaneAusten · 18/12/2019 07:18

'wouldn't it be annoying if I had to go somewhere really quickly and I couldn't because you were blocking me in.' She then stood there and watched as my parents dropped the kids off then just went back in when they left?!

Can I just check, it wasn’t actually your parents blocking her in (as they were on your drive) but her partner’s car (on their drive)? Have you checked the deeds for the house? Do they have right if access? This just seems too ridiculous!

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