AIBU to lie to people about this?

[hatelivinglikethis]

I’ve considered having rhinoplasty done, I hate my nose and always have since I was a child, I’m 30 now. I got bullied because of it, I don’t have any pictures of myself, I never take pictures unless I have to such as passport/driving license/work. At every social gathering when the group wants to take pictures I always avoid it, I’ve saved up for years to have this surgery but I’m just worried what people will think? I practice a religion where any cosmetic surgery is not allowed unless necessary. But I have decided to do it anyway, I can’t live like this anymore. It affects my mental health, I don’t want to go out or do anything because of it. I’m only 30, I don’t want to live the rest of my life feeling like this. I want to enjoy my life and do stuff, but the way I feel about my nose keeps me from doing anything.

It’s going to change the way I look dramatically, and I just don’t know what to say to people. I’ve thought of lying, saying I had a accident and that resulted in a deviated septum etc. I also want to have it done in USA, I found a great surgeon who’s got a lot of experience creating the type of nose I want. How on earth do I explain this? It’s one thing having an accident and going for surgery in London, but abroad? Nobody’s going to buy that. Please help, don’t know what to do.

Just be honest-you we’re unhappy and you decided to make a change. There’s no need to lie.

Deviated septum?

People will be a lot less interested than you think .

I wouldn't say anything! It's not their business and the religion thing aside, they would be very rude to point out that you look different.

Easier to say you had surgery
A lie requires consistency and you’ll have to maintain it,it’ll be convoluted

If someone told me they'd had a deviated septum, I'd assume a coke habit. A big one.

I don’t think you need to lie. Just say you didn’t like your nose so you’ve changed it to make yourself happy.

I wouldn't say anything! It's not their business and the religion thing aside, they would be very rude to point out that you look different.

I agree on principle, but disagree in practical fact. People are rude, and it's better for OP to be prepared for handling it.

I got given the same advice about not announcing my non-name change at our wedding, and I wish we'd done it in a bigger way. The well-intentioned incorrect people would have got the message.

I wouldn’t think anything of it to be honest. Plenty of people have plastic surgery and lip fillers etc. these days. Do what makes you happy, sod what others think. Life’s to short.

Good for you OP. Don't be ashamed or worried. The amount of people I know who have had surgery is many and all of them in some way were embarrassed. If I had the money there are a couple of things I would do.

If people are weird about it then it may be jealousy but seriously do what you must do to be happy. Life is short and you'll regret it if you don't.

Well, if it impacts you so much, it IS absolutely necessary... for nose surgery you could always say you had problems breathing. nobody’s business really!

@gobbynorthernbird and @steff13

A deviated septum is a perfectly acceptable term for when the septum is out of line, often due to a broken nose and the nose looks bent, so not the greatest excuse in this case. A common surgery to treat restricted airflow.
OP no apologies, just do it if you will feel happier. No ones elses business. You shouldnt lie, just be straight with people they will feel better of you than guessing you are not truthful

Who would you have to lie to and who would have to know the truth? Family? Friends? Dh?

A coke habit makes the septum weak and disintegrate, often a hole

no apologies necessary.. but.. if you wanted to concoct a story about a holiday to the US, having an accident and breaking your nose, then would that even be believed?

I don’t think you should lie and I also don’t think you need to give too any many details either. People may ask where you got it done, how much was it, was it painful, what was recovery like and so on. Don’t feel like you have to answer all these questions.If it was me I’d say I’ve had such and such done, I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I’m really pleased I got it done.

I wouldn’t associate a deviated septum with a coke habit but I would think it was an excuse for a nose job Doesn’t matter though. Get your new nose, let them talk. Ultimately it’s make you feel better.

If asked just say you had an operation and you don't want to talk about it.

YANBU to lie as such OP but there is no point. They will be able to tell, and i think everyone on earth has heard the 'deviated septum' when you really mean a rhinoplasty, thanks to most actresses in Hollywood.

It is not something to be ashamed of so lying turns it into a negative, when for you it will hopefully be a positive; as others have said - if anyone even asks, you may as well just say 'yes, i decided to have a rhinoplasty, my nose has always bothered me' and then change the subject if you want. Cosmetic enhancement is pretty common these days.

Ultimately though, do what best suits you and protects your mental health.

You could say you're going on holiday then say you had an accident whilst there and broke your nose and they had to operate

Tell them it was fixed due to breathing issues or if your brave enough tell them it got broken from poking your nose in other peoples business and then give them a "look"

Unless you have to see people while you still have bruising say nothing.

A friend had breast implants and it genuinely did alter her shape a lot. Nobody noticed. She told a very few close friends but nobody else knew or has ever asked her.

People just don’t study you all that hard.

My mother had a deviated septum, which was fixed by surgery. She was never a cokehead. (In fact, she refused any changes to the shape of her nose as she liked her nose the way it was; she had been having breathing issues.)

If someone told me they'd had a deviated septum, I'd assume a coke habit. A big one.

gobbynorthernbird. Well then, you’re incredibly ignorant and it’s people like you who spread slander. It’s a perforated septum that may result from drug use. A deviated septum may be congenital or a common result of a nose fracture.

A lot of people won't even twig tbh. A work colleague had one & I didn't twig for ages & normally I notice stuff. That's because it can take a year to 'settle' into its final different shape. A lot of us were just so & so, you're looking well... (they were v smiley & noticeable more confident). Just tell people you had long term breathing issues, your choice, your nose.