If you attend a parent-run playgroup but don’t volunteer, what makes you think you’re so special?

[asdapryce]

The group I chair is run by parent volunteers and will have to close after Easter unless the parents who attend week in, week out agree to go on the volunteer rota and help occasionally.

I don’t understand why they don’t. It’s a group for parents of multiples - we’ve all got 2+ babies and mostly other children too; we’re all tired; we’re all busy but we all benefit hugely from the support of the group yet literally no one has put their name forward to be on the committee after Easter and get involved in the week to week running of the group after Easter.

Not to mention the support we offer to expectant mothers of multiples in terms of running a talks with our local hospital and for all local twins+ parents through a large, active Facebook support group and a twins+ buy/sell/donate site.

What makes people happy to take take take and never give back? I’m genuinely interested.

Ahh Taylor you’re so deliciously predictable. Ire by numbers✅

@ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal The point is every other person is in the same boat as you at a multiples playgroup! Are you really happy to sit back and let one person do all the work? Rather than help out for 10 minutes while you are already there? If everyone pitches in it’s not a big task. I can understand not wanting to join the committee, but is really that hard a task to help set up and pack up the toys your children are playing with?

@RedLipstickHighHeels you are just unbelievable!!
I honestly can't imagine any situation where I sit back & expect people in the same situation as me (playgroup, school play, bake sale etc) to clean up after me!! Don't volunteer 'formally' fair enough, but have some cop on & self respect & tidy up after yourself etc!
Granted you are not the only one on this thread to say this, but you are a relentless in demonstrating your entitled CF! I'm gob smacked!
If you want to be waited on, go to a restaurant etc where the people are paid to do it!!

And b-r-e-a-t-h-e @user1496146479 all that red faced indignation isn’t good for you
At baby group parents come and go,the majority are NOT filling a bin bag or Collecting cups to be washed prior to leaving. It simple isn’t happening
What actually happens is parents gathering their children,belongings and making a safe exit. There’s not a swarm of parents clearing up after self
Now if there’s an unsaid or unspoken hope,or expectation that parents stay and tidy,wash up,sweep it’s not being made evident it’s not explicit

My previous church had a refreshing approach to people who complained to volunteers:
"Complain away, but be aware that you'll probably find you are the solution to your problem!"

@user149 seriously just ignore Red. People like that used to upset me as if they are ever pulled up on their attitude - they go full on the attack to prove their importance and worth, and they are right, even when in reality we all know they are not.

In real life we plaster on a smile and internally grimace when that sort show up.

Over the years I have developed more pity for them, as it must be really quite lonely to be that way. So I no longer find them upsetting, I do very hard not to laugh at the ridiculousness of their rants by generally avoiding them. Thankfully this type are in a tiny minority.

It needs to be explicitly set out on joining.

This is not a free group, but members mostly pay for it in time rather than money as money is tight for most of us.

First session is free.

Subsequently, you either volunteer for 1 hour, or donate 1 hour's worth of your pay if you are working, or 1 hour's worth of the pay of your DP if you are a SAHP, every two sessions you attend (so one off and one on) (or one in three if that's all you need - calculate how much time you need)

If you give more than your fair share in time, then you get compensation from the donations of those giving money rather than time. (need to word it carefully so that it's not "employment") Any excess money gets spent on shared resources for the group.

Toys out of Pram for red again... you really are quite amusing in your righteousness

You’re stuck in a rut @redngreentinsle. I post you shout she’s behind you
It’d be a more productive discussion if you're not habitually casting aspersions
It’s getting somewhat predictable and not actually adding anything
What’s your thoughts on recent posts? Make it explicit that participants pay, or help out

I agree with you! Take, take take! Don't come then if you can't return the favour.

The point is every other person is in the same boat as you at a multiples playgroup! Are you really happy to sit back and let one person do all the work

Twiceasnice I would imagine that the lassie, as she's said she suffered from anxiety and depression when her twins were young, would probably have felt bad about it but would still have struggled to help, and might have concluded that she wasn't welcome if she couldn't help out. Which I think would be a real shame because surely she's exactly the sort of person a multiples group is aiming to help?

Ignoring the bickering and boggling posts by one breathtakingly entitled and selfish individual

Volunteering at group is turning up 20 mins early to get the toys out, set up the tea & coffee, chop fruit/cheese for snack, put the heating & lights on then at the end it’s putting the stuff away, turning off lights then locking up - about another 20 mins. Volunteers don’t have to pay the £2.50 fee if they do this. This year there were enough volunteers that’s each person only had to do either open or close once every 8 weeks

This is volunteering, this is not being on a committee. How lovely it would be just to turn up for a session a bit early to put stuff out and put away at the end...

The other committee roles such as hospital liaison, social media, treasurer etc do take more time but they are so valuable and all can be split or shared. 7 out of 8 current committee members work as well as volunteer

This is the nuts and bolts. Committee work can take over your life if you let it. I've been in committee meetings that have nudged 3 hours. Training courses, it's days and nights and giving it a fair amount of headspace. If you need 8 committee then you're not talking about a small playgroup here. It's a charitable service that you need to have a passion for to give that much energy towards.

You need to give a description of each role so people know the score OP and don't minimise how much work is needed to put into it.

Op, Why don’t you and the committee email all the members, saying that you have to either close the group at the end of this year or set it up on a new basis.

That basis would be that as part of their membership, everyone has to do x sessions of helping every y months.

They don’t have to do it themselves , they can get a partner, granny , friend etc to do their session. If they are ill they need to get someone to cover for them or pay their childminder etc to do it for them.

Then people have a choice. They can Vote to close the group and go to one that cost more where they don’t have to take turns. Or the keep the group but understand what they are signing up for.

I assume that there are some volunteer tasks that could be done outside of session times, like counting the money and taking to the bank or dealing with the hall let. That would help all the mums who say they can’t do anything with their children in tow .

by all means if people, want to turn up 20min early and volunteer that’s super
Conversely if people, don’t volunteer that is also ok
Unless it’s made explicit that mandatory to help out you’ll have people in group who simply leave at the end

Unless it’s made explicit that mandatory to help out you’ll have people in group who simply leave at the end

No, when you use and take from somewhere that is run by volunteers it's common sense to do at the very least help tidy up at the end. You don't need a label to be kind and helpful. We all know the ones who come, make a mess then cheerfully leave with a wave while other people tidy up after them. People aren't there to tidy up after you. Why don't you give it a try sometime, change an opinion or 2 of you.

Make it a necessity for joining and have a trembly rota.

Getting annoyed by something inevitable that won’t change is pointless.

Termly

Yes, people do leave at the end of group there’s is no tidy up. Get Kids & go
Change an opinion? Why?
To be clear it’s a playgroup in a hall,not my confidants.not my colleagues
I have zero interest in changing an opinion or trying to put a compelling case

Trembly rota sounds divine😀

Because it’s kind and thoughtful and a common courtesy. Like giving up your seat for someone struggling on the bus, or volunteering to put out an elderly neighbours bin etc etc it’s all these small acts of kindness and consideration that make the world a pleasanter place to live in

Your making unrelated comparisons
Give up a seat on bus,underground .yes absolutely
Help older adult neighbour. yes absolutely
Wash up at playgroup. no

What’s the difference ?

You would think a fellow multiple mum might understand that others may well be struggling behind the scenes but obviously not.

I was on the committee of my district twins club for about 4 years. Everybody on the committee had twins under about 6, because once they got into school, the parents tended to get involved with school life, the PTA, etc. We all struggled behind the scenes and talked to each other at every opportunity about how much we were struggling, so much so, that we had to adopt a policy of being outwardly positive, because we knew nobody would want to come to a twins club where the atmosphere was so negative! One father was a child psychiatrist and he used to do a talk every term for us all, on some aspect of behaviour we were struggling with - like sleep, or potty training, etc!

The ones we really felt sorry for, were those with triplets!

Time and Inclination.