To want DSs grandad to have a go...
ps1991 · 15/12/2019 18:12
My in-laws are perfect grandparents to our 11month old DS. We always knew that my FIL would find being a grandad hard because he was rarely there when my husband and BiL were babies due to being in the RAF. MiL regularly helps watch the baby and they have him overnight. We’ve asked if they could have him for a few hours on Christmas Eve so we can prep for Christmas (we’re hosting) but MiL is at work, so we’ve asked FIL. He said that he doesn’t want to because he doesn’t feel like he knows how to, he doesn’t know how to change a nappy on his own and doesn’t know about bottles etc. I really understand that he is worried but I really want him to try it. It’ll only be for a couple of hours, DS won’t need a bottle, and likely won’t need a nappy change, he might need a snack which his grandad already knows how to do. WIBU to push this more with him and explain that it would literally be sitting and playing with him, or should I just leave it and DH and I manage on our own?
Queenfreak · 15/12/2019 18:18
He has said he is uncomfortable and doesn't want to. That's his prerogative I'm afraid.
You can try compromising and ask if he would entertain him at your home while you are busy and are able to help him.
Or he could help you to get things organised
RuggerHug · 15/12/2019 18:20
If he's not comfortable then it's not fair to make him. If you want to ask him over to yours to play with DS while you get on with prep in the other rooms. If he's just nervous he might be ok knowing you're there to call if need be but if he's not interested then leave it.
Grumpos · 15/12/2019 18:21
Yabu, he’s said he doesn’t feel comfortable.
He has said no.
It’s unfortunate but you’ll have to either crack on and work it out between you both or ask someone else.
Not everyone is comfortable to be childcare, regardless of their relationship with said child. The ONLY people who absolutely have to help are the parents. Anyone else is just a bonus if they are happy to step up.
HildaSnibbs · 15/12/2019 18:23
No you can't push it, he's said no. I wouldn't want to leave a baby with someone who wasn't comfortable taking care of him/her. If he would like to learn how to do the nappies and bottles, you can ask him if he wants you to show him what to do next time he's at yours, but if he doesn't, I'd just leave it.
Difficultcustomer · 15/12/2019 18:31
I don’t have children and would not feel comfortable in sole charge even for a few hours. I’d be worried the baby would that particular day to change routine or be ill. I would also worry baby would pick up on my lack of confidence and get upset.
Respect his decision. In the future when they visit ask if he would like to learn how to change a nappy and make up bottles, but again completely accept if he declines and realise that he may still not feel confident to babysit alone.
gamerwidow · 15/12/2019 18:32
He isn’t comfortable having him on his own so that’s the end of it. It’s a pain but you and DH will have to take it turns to keep and eye on your child while you prep for Xmas. I would rather be told no I can’t cope than have someone look after my child who wasn’t up to it.
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